Page 77 of Hunted to Be Mine
“And as my friend?”
She sighed. “As your friend, I think your feelings are clouding your judgment. You want to protect him. That’s human. But right now, not knowing his triggers makes him easy to manipulate. The truth might hurt him, but lies will definitely destroy him.”
The words landed like a punch. True, and I hated them.
“There’s something else.” I stared at the map’s edge with my thumb. “I’m afraid of who he’ll be if everything comes back. What if the man I’m with isn’t the real him? What if the real Specter wouldn’t know me? Wouldn’t want me?”
“That’s a real fear,” Mattie said. “But think about this—his conditioning is cracking because something inside him is fighting back. Oblivion didn’t erase him. And whatever’s between you two? That’s not programming. That’s real.”
I saw him on the train again, the way he had looked at me, the way he had touched my face like it mattered. The way he had said I made him feel human.
“What if it changes how he feels about me?” It slipped out before I could stop it.
“Ah.” Mattie didn’t gloat. “There it is.”
“I’m not being professional.” The admission scraped on the way out. “I crossed every line.”
“We’re way past professional. We’re in survival mode. Sometimes survival means connection.”
I thought of Specter’s hand in mine. His body pressed to mine in the dark. The way he gave up control and trusted me.
“I can’t lose him, Mattie,” I whispered. “Not to Oblivion. Not to his past. Not to himself.”
“Then don’t shield him from the truth,” she said. “Stand with him while he faces it. That’s what he needs. Not shelter. Strength.”
A sound in the hallway tightened my shoulders, then faded. Just another guest.
“You’re right.” The words tasted like surrender and relief. “I know you’re right.”
“Of course, I am.” Her voice lightened. “Promise me when this is over, we’re doing a real girls’ night with real alcohol, and you’re telling me everything. And I mean everything.”
I laughed. “Deal.”
“Be careful, Selina. Both of you.” Warmth bled out of her tone. “And remember: Oblivion gave him the conditioning, but who he is now? That’s his choice. Don’t take that from him by deciding what he can handle.”
When we hung up, I stared at the phone. Mattie’s words kept replaying: The truth might hurt him, but lies will definitely destroy him.
She was right. I couldn’t protect Specter by keeping him from his past, no matter how much I wanted him safe. That wasn’t my call. All I could do was stand with him when it came.
Chapter 18
Selina
Specter came in, leaving wet footprints on the thin carpet. Water dripped from his clothes. His hair was plastered to his forehead. His face had gone pale from the cold, his nose raw, exhaustion carved into the lines by his eyes.
For a beat, we just stared at each other. Relief hit hard, then heat climbed after it.
“Where the hell have you been?” My voice came out rougher than I meant.
He peeled off his soaked coat. “Surveillance ran long.”
“Four hours with no word? I was about to call Damon and tell him you’d been taken!”
Specter hung the jacket over the radiator. “Couldn’t risk communications. Found something interesting, though.” He looked up, finally taking in my face. “You were worried.”
“Worried? I pictured you captured, tortured, or—” I cut myself off.
“I’m fine.” He shoved wet hair back. “The warehouse is barely guarded. Emergency skeleton crew from Oblivion, but mostly civilians walking in and out. It’s an opportunity, Selina.” His voice sharpened. “One we can’t waste. I need to go back tonight before they tighten security.”
