Page 83 of Certified Pressure 3
“I’ll go back home if I got to,” I finally said, my voice low but firm. “I’ll leave all this behind before I let you keep playing with me.”
Pressure looked at me hard. “This your home now. You and my son ain’t goin’ nowhere, so you can shut all that shit you talkin’ ‘bout down.”
“That ain’t your call,” I said. “You don’t own me.”
He shook his head, his voice low and rough. “You always quick to say you done, like that’s gon’ make shit easier. You actlike walkin’ away don’t hurt you too. You be sayin’ shit you don’t mean.”
“I mean every word,” I said, my voice barely holding.
Pressure looked at me for a long moment, his jaw set but his eyes saying everything he didn’t. “You really think I wanna keep fightin’ with you?” he asked. “I been tryin’ to make this work, Pluto. I’m not perfect, but I don’t deserve you actin’ like I ain’t been here.”
“You ain’t been shit, Pressure.”
He nodded slowly, like the words stung but he couldn’t argue. “A’ight,” he said after a second. “If that’s how you feel, then I guess I can’t say nothin’ else.”
“That’s how it’s been,” I said coldly. “Go be with Kashmere, since she the one you runnin’ back to anyway.”
Pressure didn’t move right away. He just stared at me with that look that always made me weak, only this time it felt like it was breaking me instead. When he finally spoke, his voice was low. “I ain’t runnin’ back to nobody,” he said. “I’m just tired of fightin’ somebody I would do anything for.”
His eyes flickered, and for a second, I saw the hurt underneath all that attitude.
Pressure stared at me for a long moment before nodding slowly. “A’ight then,” he said finally. “You tired, huh? Well, I’m tired too. At this point, it is what it is.”
He started to reach for my stomach, but I moved back and slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me.”
He blinked, caught off guard. “Pluto, stop actin’ like that. Can I at least help Zurie open her gifts?”
“She don’t need your help,” I said sharply. “Just leave.”
He looked at me one last time, his expression unreadable. Then he sighed and leaned in like he wanted to kiss my cheek, but I turned my head away.
Without another word, I stepped back inside, closed the door, and locked it. I stood there for a second, listening to his footsteps fade, and then I walked to the couch. My hands were shaking, but my heart felt calm. I was done.
Kashmere could have him.
Two weeks later…
Two weeks felt like two years since me and Pressure spoke but I was determined to remain strong. Every time my phone lit up with his name, my chest got tight, but I forced myself to ignore it. I’d read the messages sometimes, then lock my screen like I hadn’t. I couldn’t do this shit with him no more, especially after seeing those posts Kashmere made with them hugged up like they were really in love. I knew they were engaged, and I knew what I was walking into when I got involved with him, but knowing didn’t make it hurt less. It just made it harder to breathe when I thought about it too long.
The mornings had started blending together. I’d wake up, check on Zurie, make her breakfast, and spend the rest of the day in my thoughts. I wasn’t sad, just tired. I was tired of loving a man who could make my whole body melt one minute and make me question my worth the next. Pressure had called, texted and even sent Renza once to “check in,” but I didn’t have anything left to say. It wasn’t like I had a doctor’s appointment coming up, so there wasn’t any reason for us to talk. That’s what I kept telling myself, even though a part of me knew it was just an excuse to protect what little peace I had left.
I was lying in bed scrolling through old pictures when I heard the doorbell. My heart jumped. For a second I froze, staring at the ceiling like maybe if I didn’t move, it would stop ringing,but it didn’t. It kept going, loud and impatient. I sighed and rolled out of bed, dragging my feet toward the door with my bonnet barely hanging on. My first thought was that it had to be Pressure, finally deciding to pop up.
When I opened the door, my heart dropped and my words got stuck. It wasn’t Pressure. It was his mama.
“Omà?” I said, my voice small without meaning to sound that way.
Abeni stood there with her sunglasses low on her nose, holding two designer shopping bags and a tote. She looked like she’d just stepped off a private jet. Her presence alone made the air in the house feel different, heavier but comforting at the same time.
“Let me in, Pluto,” she said calmly, not asking but telling me.
I moved to the side fast, watching her glide into my living room like she owned it. She didn’t have to raise her voice. Just being her was enough to make me straighten up. I shut the door and turned to see her walking around slowly, looking at everything like she was studying it.
Pressure must’ve told her everything. That was the only thing that made sense. He’d gone and told his mama I wasn’t talking to him. Typical…
I trailed behind her quietly, trying not to look nervous while she glanced at the pictures on my walls and the small stack of folded clothes I’d left on the couch.
“So, this is the place my son picked out?” she asked finally, turning toward me.
