Page 3 of Certified Pressure 3
She didn’t have to ask for the microphone. The host knew to place it in her hand as soon as she stepped forward. That’s how much respect she carried.
The room went quiet when she raised her hand. Her voice was smooth, strong, but calm as she smiled at me. “Pressure,” she said, “my first grandson. You were the first to teach me what it meant to love the next generation. You are the reason I became Mamáh, and now you are giving me my first great grandchild. Do you know what that means to me?”
I couldn’t stop smilin’. My chest swelled with pride just hearin’e her say that in front of everybody.
“I’ve watched you grow into the man you are,” she continued, “and I am proud. Not just because of what you have, but because of the love I see you give. You’ve always been mine, my first, my baby boy, and now you are a father.”
I nodded, bitin’ my lip a lil’ ‘cause her words hit me deep. I looked at Ka’mari and kissed her forehead, holdin’ her hand tight.
Then Renza, bein’ Renza, leaned forward with a smirk. “Mamáh, what about me? You don’t see me sittin’ here?“
“You boys know the truth,” she said, pointin’ at Renza and Kay’Lo. “I love all my grandsons, but the first will always be different.”
Everybody clapped and laughed, but I knew she meant every word. She had a love for me that couldn’t be matched, and now she was showin’ that same love for Kamir.
The night went on with more food, more laughter, and more drinks flowin’. The men was talkin’ business in corners, the women was showin’ off their jewelry and catchin’ up, and the cousins was jokin’ and dancin’. It was everything a celebration should be. But for me, the only thing that mattered was Ka’mari.
I kept my arm around her, rubbin’ her stomach, tellin’ her how I couldn’t wait to see Kamir’s face. I whispered in her ear, “You know he gon’ come out lookin’ just like me, right? My lil twin.” She laughed and shook her head, sayin’, “No, he’s going to look like me, and you gon’ be mad about it.” I kissed her lips and told her I didn’t care who he looked like as long as he came out healthy and strong.
I told her she was everything I ever wanted, that I couldn’t wait to make her my wife, to give her everything she deserved and more. “You’ll never want for shit, baby,” I said. “Not a damn thing. You and Kamir, y’all got me forever.” She leaned into me with tears in her eyes, soakin’ up every word, and I kissed them away before they could fall.
Life was perfect. I was surrounded by family, by legacy and by love. I had my father, my uncles, my aunts, my cousins, and most importantly, I had Ka’mari carryin’ my son. In that moment, I felt untouchable. I felt like everything I had been through was worth it ‘cause it brought me here.
I didn’t know what was waitin’ for me just weeks later. I ain’t know that joy could flip into pain so fast. All I knew that night was happiness. All I knew was love.
And I held onto that with everything I had.
Trill-Land, Jungle Estate
One week later…
Today was Ka’mari’s appointment and I already had a private doctor at the crib, checkin’ on lil’ man. I wasn’t playin’ about my son. Ever since I found out she was pregnant I made sure everything was set up so she ain’t have to run around hospitals every week sittin’ in no long ass waitin’ room. The doctor came to us, brought all her equipment, and it gave Ka’mari that comfort too, ‘cause she was already nervous about every lil’ thing. She wanted to know her baby was safe all the time and I wanted to give her that.
We was in the livin’ room, Ka’mari sittin’ back on the couch with a soft blanket over her lap. She looked so beautiful with her belly pokin’, and glowin’ even though she had been tired all mornin’. I was right next to her, holdin’ her hand and whisperin’ lil’ things in her ear just to make her smile. The doctor pulled out a small monitor, rubbin’ some cold ass gel on Ka’mari’s stomach, and I kissed her temple while she flinched from how cold it felt.
I was expectin’ to hear that strong ass heartbeat fill the room like every other time, but this time it was quiet. The doctor moved the device around, pressin’ it against different spots, her face stayin’ calm but focused. At first I ain’t think nothin’ of it. I figured maybe lil’ man was just layin’ funny, and maybe the doctor had to angle it better. But the silence kept goin’. It wasn’t no rhythm or sound… just static.
The doctor’s voice came out calm, like she ain’t wanna scare us. “Ka’mari, have you felt him move today?”
Ka’mari nodded quick. “Yes, this morning. He was kickin’ a little bit, but I thought he just went to sleep.” Her voice was soft, not worried yet, just innocent like a first time mama that didn’t know what was normal.
The doctor pressed around again, and my chest started feelin’ tight. I rubbed Ka’mari’s belly, whisperin’, “Come on lil’ man, wake up for daddy.” I bent down and kissed her stomach, pressin’ my lips all over the round curve like my touch could bring him back. “Kamir, stop playin’, boy. Move for daddy one time.”
Ka’mari smiled weak at first, hopin’ he would answer me. I kept talkin’, kissin’ her belly, whisperin’ how much I loved him and couldn’t wait to hold him. But still, there was no movement. Ka’mari’s smile faded, and I could see the fear buildin’ in her eyes.
The doctor finally looked up and said, “I want you both to go to the hospital so we can do a more detailed check. We’ll be able to get a better reading there.” Her voice was still calm but I knew she was concerned.
Ka’mari’s hand gripped mine tighter, and I looked at her like, “We good. Don’t trip.”
Inside, though, I felt a heaviness startin’ to creep in. I couldn’t let her see it, ‘cause she needed me strong right now. I nodded and stood up fast. “A’ight, we headed there.”
I already had a bag packed for emergencies, and had it sittin’ by the front door for weeks ‘cause I wasn’t takin’ no chances. I grabbed it, called for the driver, and wrapped my arm around Ka’mari while we walked out. She was tryin’ to hold it together, but I could feel her hand shakin’ in mine.
The car pulled up and I opened the door for her like always. We slid into the backseat and I kept rubbin’ her belly, hopin’ to feel even the smallest kick, but nothin’ came.
Ka’mari’s voice cracked when she whispered, “Pressure, I’m scared.”
I looked right in her eyes and kissed her soft, then kissed her cheeks, her neck, her collarbone, anywhere my lips could reach just to calm her down. “Don’t think like that, baby girl. I’m right here with you. We gon’ be straight. Our son gon’ be straight.” I said it like I believed it, even though deep inside I was prayin’ harder than I ever prayed in my life.
