Page 127 of Running from Drac
“I don’t wish you were dead, Pippa. I wouldn’t be here begging you to back away if that were the case. I care about you—”
“Not like you do her! I’ll never be anything to you because of her.”
“You’re my friend—”
She cuts me off again, eyes narrowing, voice dropping to almost a growl. “Friends don’t fuck, Eddie. Friends don’t fuck each other over either. And here we are, standing in the wake of our infidelity, trying to pick up all the dirty pieces like it will somehow make it okay. You may want to take back that night we had together, but it’s all I can fucking think about. It’s like I relive it over and over again, holding onto the memory, wishing everything didn’t get so fucked up between us. That’s why I’m here… the world’s just better off without me.”
“Don’t do this,” I beg, taking a small step forward. “Pippa, please. Look at me.”
She does. Her eyes are soaked in pain—a pain so heavy that it sinks to the dark depths of an emotionless ocean, weighted and anchored by only her guilt and unhinged obsession with me as she drowns in her own sin. “I thought if I could make you see me. If I could just get a taste of what she had… maybe you’d wantmeinstead.”
I blink through the rising sting in my eyes. “You think I wanted any of this? You think I don’t wake up every goddamn day wishing I had handled everything differently?”
“See! You’d take back everything that happened between us. It meant nothing to you. But to me. God, it was fucking everything. Do you know how much that hurts? That even after she left you, you still want her over me. That you’d fucking die for her, if she asked you to. Would you die for me too, Eddie? If I asked you to take my place right now, would you step over that ledge and kill yourself to save me?”
My heart clenches and twists like it’s being tied in unbreakable knots.
“See!” she rages. “You may have shown up here, Eddie, but you don’t give a shit. Not really. I fucking love you, and you… you fucking look at me like I’m poison,” she whispers. “Like I’m the reason your world is in ashes. And the sad part is, you’re not wrong. Everything I touch disintegrates into ash. I’m a rot in human form. A wretched human being that doesn’t deserve to live, let alone deserves your love.”
“Pippa, stop, you’re talking crazy!”
“Then tell me I’m worth it, Eddie. Tell me that I’m worth saving. If you truly believe it, convince me. Because I see that look in your eyes. You’re only here because you feel guilty, not because you really care. If I die, it’d be your fault too. Just like Amber leaving is. Face it, Eddie, you’re a cold, uncaring asshole who only thinks with his dick. You never once thought about Amber or me, only ever about yourself.”
“You fucking drugged me and her!” I yell, unable to contain my anger a second longer. “You forced me into sleeping with Jinifer, and Amber into another man’s arms. That wasyourdoing, not mine. You took advantage of me when I was drunk, slipping more drugs into my drink so you could lure me into your bed. I never wanted this. Any of it. I’m not a monster, Pippa. So don’t think for one fucking second I’m like you. I may have fucked up, but only because you were puppeteering me on strings—strings that I’ve thankfully severed and burned away.”
Tears appear in her eyes. Whether they’re fake or real, I’m unable to tell. The bitch is like a chameleon, shedding and changing her colors with every fucked-up breath she exhales. “If I’m a monster, then let me die,” she pleads, taking a dangerous step toward the cliff’s edge again, rocks and gravel breaking beneath her foot.
Cautiously, I step towards her, approaching her like a feral beast ready to attack.
“Stop!” she screams. “Come any closer and I’ll jump. Don’t think I won’t.”
“I’m not gonna let you do this,” I say, my voice shaking. “I don’t care what the fuck happened; you don’t get to end your life over me, or anyone else. This isn’t the way, Pippa. We can work through this and make things right.”
She laughs this raw, manic thing that sounds like it hurts her throat. “There’s nothing left for me, Eddie. I’ve ruined the one thing that made me feel like I was worth something. Amber’s gone. She’ll never forgive you. And I’m just the slut who couldn’t stop herself from taking what wasn’t hers. Say it! Say you fucking hate me,” she goads.
“I don’t hate you,” I lie, my tone calm and cautious.
“LIAR!” she screams. “Be fucking honest for once in your life, Eddie. Admit it! Admit that you hate me!”
My fists clench, teeth grinding together to protect my tongue. Because I do hate her. She destroyed everything I’ve built, taking away the one person who ever meant something to me. But hating her doesn’t mean I want her to die.
“SAY IT!” she screams even louder. “Admit it, or I’ll jump!”
Blood drips from my hand where my fingers start digging into the flesh, my breaths quickening, heart racing like it’s about to combust.
“Fine! I hate you, okay? Is that what you want to hear? How I hate everything good you stole from my life and burned it toash. That I hate how you carelessly play with people’s lives for your own bitter satisfaction, or how you manipulate others just to get what you want. That’s what makes me hate you, Pippa, but that doesn’t mean I want you to die. I just want you to give up this silly idea of us being together. It's never going to happen, no matter how much you want it to.”
She tilts her head, eyes full of disbelief, like she never expected me to admit it out loud. “Then what’s left for me to live for?”
She moves back, foot hitting the edge, the gravel giving way and dropping into the void behind her. She teeters, arms flailing as her body violently sways backward. “Eddie!” she screams as the ground drops beneath her feet.
“PIPPA!” I lunge forward instinctively, my hand barely making it over the edge to grasp her wrist before she tumbles over it.
Her fingers clutch mine as she dangles over the jagged rocks, the drop at least five thousand feet above ground. Tears stream down her face, eyes pleading for me to hold on. Her scream pierces the air as I try to hoist her up, my arms straining to get a better grasp.
“Don’t let go!” she screams. “I take it back! I don’t want to die. Please don’t let me die, Eddie. Don’t you dare let go!” She glances over her shoulder as my feet dig into the loose surface, losing balance. Veins pop out of my forearms and neck as I hold on with every ounce of strength I have, but at this angle, her weight feels massive, like I’m holding up a rhino instead of a petite young woman.
“I’m not letting you go, Pippa. But you gotta help me. Try to walk up the side of the mountain.
