Page 68 of Clash
Bessie ignored my outburst, not even acknowledging anything I said.
“What she needs is for you to fuck her good and hard with your cock, dazzle her with that impressive third appendage, and make her weak in the knees. I’d hope with a dick that big; you at least know how to use it?”
“Yeah, lady. I fucking know how to use it. Who the fuck are you, anyway?”
“Just an old woman with all the time in the world on her hands. I read naughty romance books to bide my time. Every main character has a cock like an ox, and the stamina of a cheetah. It’s amazing when you think about it. Most men can’t last past the five-minute mark. Roger was a three-minute miracle man—he knew how to get me off without even trying.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. The woman had to stop before my sides split from laughing so hard. Before I could ask her to stop, she held up her hand, shushing me.
“Look, I know I’m probably not what you expected from a frail, brittle old woman, but I assure you, my time on this earth has a wealth of knowledge you could benefit from. Anyway, like I said before, I set you up with the perfect way back into her life, you just need to be there to intercept the pass.”
“And how’s that, exactly?”
Her teeth were yellowed, and a few were missing when she opened her mouth, her lips pulling into a smile. “Well, tonight she’s going on a date with my ghastly neighbor. He’s a real tool, if you ask me. The dude is a full-blood narcissist and as dry as a box of Quaker oats. She’ll hate him.”
“And how does this help me?”
“Well, Clash, you’re going tointercepttheir little date, and save her from the dreadful experience. Then you’re gonna caveman her into your bed, fuck her into oblivion, and win the girl over once and for all.”
Who the fuck is this woman?
“Who are you? You’re not like any old woman I’ve ever met before.”
“Just because I swear like a sailor, have a strange obsession with large cocks, and can fuck for hours, doesn’t make me different from others. I’m just too old to have a filter, and got tired of being censored years ago.” She took a long pause, obviously enjoying my discomfort. “Anyway, Clash, tonight she’s going on that date. Here’s the address. Show up around eight thirty. That should give Walter enough time to turn her completely off. Then show up on that chrome steed of yours and take the woman for a ride. Romanticize her with your wildly good looks, and that knight in shining armor mentality I know you have lying dormant inside of you.”
“Look, maybe this other guy would be better for her. The only reason I’m hanging around is because I want her to feel safe. If I’m here, I know she’ll always be just that.”
“She’d be safer in your bed. Just saying,” Bessie exclaimed, shooting me a wink. “It’s your call, Clash, but the longer you wait to make a move, the more she’ll hate you. I’d hold off giving her the money right away. It would just piss her off more. For now, just try to get her back on your side. She needs all the allies she can at this moment.”
We sat there in silence as I took everything in, a part of me pissed off that another man would be taking her out on a date tonight. Just the thought made me blind with rage. But I knew she was right. If I was going to win over Gina, I had to take baby steps.
Maybe tonight was the night for our reconciliation?
“Alright, you can leave now. I don’t want my neighbors talking about me again. The last time I had a man stay over this long, they were convinced I was fucking the mailman.” She gave me an oddly satisfied smile as she lifted her frail hand to the side of her mouth and said, “That man was good at delivering all sorts of things, even orgasms.”
“Gross, lady. I think I’m done with this conversation. You make me incredibly uncomfortable.”
She waved me off. “Call it a gift. Now get the hell out of here, you got an interesting night ahead of you.”
The woman was more than crazy, she was psychic too, because what happened later that night I’ll never fucking forget.
24
He was late. Not even fashionably either. The man kept me waiting a good thirty minutes before finally showing up to dinner.
Handsome? Eh, not so much.Walter, the man Bess was adamant was good for me, was a slightly overweight middle-aged man with a scraggily goatee, and long dirty blonde hair that was pulled back in a ponytail. He had wiry glasses that sat low on his nose, and shit brown eyes with no emotion.
He barely looked up from his phone to address me.
“Hello, Gina,” he said, typing a text message out on his phone. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”
Again, no eye contact.
“I’d say the same, but it seems you’re on a date with your phone instead of me.”
He briefly looked up, frowned a bit, then finished typing out his message before stowing his phone away. “Sorry, I’m in the middle of a corporate takeover. My job tends to keep me busy.”
The waitress ushered us over to a table, and the bastard didn’t even help me in my seat. He just sat down, throwing a lazyarm over the back of his chair, while I awkwardly sat in front of him.
