Page 90 of Light As A Feather
“Guest room at the back.” He points down the hall.
“Is he angry?” I have to ask, unsure of what I’ll be walking into.
“Angry? Why would he be?” Mendez chuckles. “You guys are too much. He’s over here beating himself up, thinking you won’t ever want to speak to him again. I told him it wasn’t his fault and that you’d understand, but he won’t hear it.”
Knowing that my best friend is suffering eases my doubts. While the situation is complicated, the one thing I know is that Jayden is a good person who doesn’t deserve to be punished for something out of his control. With a double knock, I announce my presence at his door.
“Come in.”
“Hey,” I say as I step in and close the door behind me. I stand awkwardly off to the side, trying not to block the TV or get too close. “How are you doing?”
“I’ve been better,” he admits.
“Yeah, I bet.” A beat of uncomfortable silence. “I’m sorry you got dragged into this. I know all this must be really hard to process.”
“You’re apologizing to me?” Jayden leans his head back on the pillow, covering his face with his hands. “Hawthorne, I almost killed the love of your life. I’m the one who should be pleading with you not to fucking hate me.” His voice cracks, andthat’s all it takes to crumble any remaining uncertainty between us. I’m at his side, sitting on the edge of the bed, in seconds.
“Jay, he forced you to do that. You weren’t in your right mind…or in your mind at all, I guess. He was controlling all of your actions.” I grip his shoulder, attempting reassurance. “You can’t blame yourself for that. I don’t.”
“You don’t?”
“No. Truly. It’s unfair what happened to you. Yes, it was horrible to watch, but I know that you would never hurt her. I know that you would never hurt me like that.”
“All I want is for you to be happy.” He takes my hand in between his. “I promise. There’s nothing I want more than for things to go back to the way they were. You’re my number one. I can’t do this shit without you.”
“We’re good. Don’t worry, okay?”
He nods. “How is she?”
“Not well. But I’m taking care of it.”
“Let me help. It’s the least I can do. Please let me make this right.” He nearly falls over himself, even though he winces with every movement, his body worn from the toll of his possession.
“You’re in no place to do anything right now. But it means everything that you want to. It’s okay, I have a plan. I have it covered.”
“Hawthorne, don’t try and do this all by yourself. You’re going to get yourself killed.”
Frustration builds inside me. “So, what if I do? Honestly, what does it really matter? I’ve died once; I already move through the veil. Would it really be such a big deal?”
“You know the answer, Hawthorne. Yes, you’d still be around. But it wouldn’t be the same. You know that. We still have so many cases to work together, so many adventures to go on.” He squeezes my hand harder. “Don’t even fucking think of leaving me yet.”
“You’re worrying for no reason. Everything is going to be fine.” I stand, needing to distance myself from all this doubt. I’m going to do what I need to do, and nobody’s going to stop me. “There’s not much time. I need to go. I’ll see you soon though. Focus on getting back to yourself.”
“Hawthorne—” I don’t let him get another word in as I close the door behind me and follow the voices to find Mendez and Zoey.
“So?” I say by way of greeting.
“Hey.” Zoey wraps a single arm around me. “So, I can’t be one hundred percent sure until we find it, but I’m pretty confident that knife is the root of it, the connection to this house. Now that?—”
Mendez shakes his head, cutting them off.
“You don’t have to walk on eggshells around me. I’m well aware that Sol is dead. I’m coping as best I can, given our circumstances, but the only way I’m going to be okay again is if we finish this.”
“What’s the plan then? You can’t search the entire property yourself. Who fucking knows where he hid that thing?” Ozzie pulls out a seat at the table and gets comfortable.
“I won’t need to. He’s going to tell me.”
“Not to insult your intelligence, but why the hell would he do that?” Zoey asks, almost laughing at the audacity.
