Page 28 of Light As A Feather
“Hey,” Sol mumbles against my back as she wraps her arms around me.
It’s simple, but the reassurance of her voice, of how at ease she is as she rests her head against me, nearly makes my knees buckle. I grit my teeth, fighting with everything I have to push down all the anxiety that’s been stirred up until it’s buried at the back of my mind.
“Are you hungry?”
“I should probably eat.” A typical Sol answer, but one I’m prepared for.
“I don’t have a lot of options, it’s just been me and—” I clear my throat, carefully avoiding anything that might ruin this moment for us. “I hadn’t planned on having you back here, so I haven’t had a chance to stock up on your safe foods yet.”
She tenses just a fraction, and I’m quick to realize my mistake, eager to reassure her that she’s not an imposition. Sol has always been welcome at the dinner table; my parents made sure of that. “It’s no problem. I can get a delivery. I just meant that for now, there are only a few things that suit your preferences. But…” I take her hand and tug her behind me into the kitchen. “I always keep ingredients for your favorite meal. You know, just in case.”
“Just in case you decided to kidnap me?” Her tone is flat as she teases.
“That, or in case you decided to come back to me.”
“Always the optimist, aren’t you?” She casts her gaze downward, shuttering something from me, but I feel the wave of guilt that unfurls from her dark and somber. “I need you to know, it was never about you, Thorne.”
Closing the fridge, I quickly unload all of the ingredients I’d grabbed. Leaning down, I meet her eyes. “I know.” It’s an easy reassurance because at the end of the day, I always knew that. In my darkest moments, I did try to pick apart our relationship, desperate to find something I’d done wrong, some reason I didn’t deserve her. But I never found one. We were meant for each other. We were worthy of one another. Even when others challenged it.
“Why did you wait for me?” Her curiosity dances with apprehension.
“Because we’re fate.” I ignore the eye roll she throws my way. “I knew it the first time I ever set eyes on you. The first time those gorgeous brown eyes met mine, you possessed me utterly and completely.”
“You call that fate? I’d say that’s more of a foreboding omen.”
“Maybe you were an omen, but never a bad one. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because I mean it. Because it’s true.” Sol attempts to turn away, but I pull her back against me, capturing her in my arms.
“I want to believe it.”
“You have to forgive yourself for the choices you made when you felt like you had no other way out.”
“Why should I?”
“Because I forgive you. I need you to do the same. I need you to let me love you wholly and completely. Your acceptance of mylove has always been an important part of the equation. Your belief that you deserved to be loved by me made what we had so much stronger.” I sigh, the worry I thought I’d stowed away worming its way out of the hole. “And we need to be stronger than ever if we want to make it out the other side of this.”
“You’re right.” She kisses my arm and squeezes my hand.
“I meant it when I said I’m not letting you go ever again. I just need you to hold onto me too.” I inhale deeply, savoring the berry scent of her shampoo. Some things never change, especially not with Sol. Once she decides she likes something, she sticks with it forever. I used to be so confident that it applied to me, but now I just hope that I’m right.
“I will.” Sol turns to face me, her palm resting on the tattoo on my bare chest. “I promise, Thorne. You can trust me.”
“I do. Always have.” Without warning, I pick her up and set her on the kitchen island. Her responding squeal of surprise chases away some of the heaviness that was crushing me after my confrontation with Ivan. I don’t intend on making it her problem, not with this breeze of levity that’s just swept in like fresh air. Besides, she already has way too much on her mind. I’m capable of shouldering the weight of this, at least for now.
“So, how about pizza?” I wave my hand over the ingredients I’d set out to her left.
She surveys the items, taking note of what’s clearly for her versus me. I don’t mind catering to Sol’s food sensitivities, of which there are many, but I prefer a lot of toppings. “Yeah, now that you mention it, I guess I am pretty hungry. Kinda starving, even.”
Turning back to the fridge, I pull out a container of fresh pineapple I’d cut up before I started the fire.
“I don’t like pineapple on my?—”
“It’s for you to eat now.” I slide between her legs, set the container down next to her, and grab onto her thighs. “We’vebeen making this same exact thing for years. Do you really think that I wouldn’t remember that you don’t like pineapple on your pizza?”
Sol shrugs, a faint blush creeping across her cheeks. “I don’t know.”
