Page 100 of Light As A Feather
He mumbles something around the gag that Hawthorne’s put on him. I’m not interested in what he has to say, though. What he had planned is unforgivable. He won’t find any sympathy from me. Better for all of us to keep him quiet and get it over with.
Before coming in, we’d discussed the plan twice over. We all know our roles. Still, a pit opens in my stomach, nerves and apprehension burning a hole through it.
Seemingly at ease, Hawthorne pulls out his phone with the spell his friend provided and hands it to me.
“When I tell you to, read this.” I nod. “You have to mean it,” he adds on.
It’s an easy enough task considering what they have to do, but I still imagine all the ways it can go wrong. Hawthorne hands me some candles to set up as he prepares for the summoning, a distraction I’m grateful for.
“Jay, are you sure you want to be here for this?” Hawthorne asks him as he finishes pouring the salt.
“Yes, I’m sure. I need to see his face when he realizes he won’t be able to do that shit to anyone else again. I want to see for myself that he’s not capable of escaping.” He puts on a brave face, but I don’t miss the dark circles around his eyes or the tension in his shoulders.
I’m grateful I’ve never been possessed by anyone but Hawthorne. I can’t imagine how violating that must be to have someone else wearing your skin, pushing you out of your own mind. That’s quite literally the worst thing I can imagine. I’m eager to apologize, but I know now is not the time.
Once the candles are lit, we all get into position. Hawthorne and our sacrifice—I cringe internally at myself and how quickly I’ve come around to thinking of him that way—in the circle, me safely outside it, while Jayden waits behind the double-sided glass.
“Are you ready?” Hawthorne asks as I hand him the knife that he stows in the holster he’s tucked into his pants.
I am and I’m not, but I nod my confirmation anyway. For the millionth time, I find myself trying to embody Thorne’s collected and confident demeanor, but on the inside, I’m a mess of emotions.
Of course, I want Ivan gone. Of course, I don’t want him to be able to harm anyone else. But I can’t help myself from what mymother would call catastrophizing, but really, is me recognizing patterns of risk and danger and playing out all of the possibilities—even the least likely. I didn’t ask to be like this, and I hate when I’m proven right, but I can’t say it’s never proven useful. It allows me to decide now what I’ll do in the worst-case scenario—hopefully it won’t come to that.
“Sol?” he says, like he’s been calling my name for some time.
“Sorry. What were you saying?”
“I love you.” He tucks my hair behind my ear, his knuckles caressing the floral tattoo on my cheek. “No matter what happens, never forget that.”
“I love you too, but why are you making this sound like a goodbye?” Despite myself, my throat tightens and my eyes well with tears.
“I’m not. Everything is going to be fine.” His words are sincere as he strokes my cheek once more.
“Promise me you won’t put your life on the line.” He kisses me, pointedly avoiding a committal answer. I guess I’d rather that than he make a false promise, but it still doesn’t sit well with me.
Stepping back into the circle, Hawthorne closes his eyes and begins mumbling under his breath, pointedly ignoring the man squirming and protesting next to him.
“Solaneen, when I say ‘now’, I need you to possess me.”
“What?” I couldn’t have heard him right.
“You need to possess me when I give you the go-ahead.”
“No. Wait. We never talked about this,” I stumble over my words, panic seizing me and making it difficult to turn my thoughts into words. “This wasnotpart of the plan.”
He says nothing.
“I don’t even know how.”
“It’ll come naturally, you’ll see. Just think about wanting to be inside my body. Clear your mind and mean it, and you’llsee,” he says all of this casually like it’s not an absolutely absurd request.
“Hawthorne, I can’t do this.”
“You have to.”
If I was nervous before, I’m practically in shambles now. But there’s no time to panic as Ivan materializes within the circle.
For several seconds, he just stares, his eyes boring into me. Straightening my shoulders, I hold my ground and his gaze. His lips twitch, tightening into a scowl, but he doesn’t address me directly. Instead, he turns his attention to Hawthorne.
