Page 64 of The Unseelie War
“But—” Bitty started.
“We're running out of time!” Ava's composure finally cracked, hervoice echoing through the theater. “Because whilewe'redebating the trustworthiness of cosmic beings, people are dying!Worldsare dying! Valroy is slaughtering innocents, the merged realities are becoming more and more fucked up, and in a few hours he's going to demand an answer from Abigail that means all the Seelie could either live or die, and we kinda fuckingneedher!”
Gripping the book tighter, she forced herself to calm down. “I can feel it now. The worlds are like gears in an engine without any oil. They’re shredding—and about to break. Maybe the Morrigan is lying, maybe there are other options, but I don’t know if we can take that risk.”
Nos clenched his fists. “May we talk?” He glanced to Serrik and Abigail. “Privately.”
Ava looked around the group—at Serrik's coldness, at Abigail's resigned acceptance, at the fear and confusion on everyone else's faces. “Yeah. Fine. But make it quick.”
Nos, Ibin, Bitty, and Lysander formed a huddle near the side of the stage. Ava followed them, leaving Serrik and Abigail alone in the center.
“This very much isn't like you,” Ibin repeated once they were out of earshot. “The Ava I know doesn't follow orders from gods who've been lying to her from the beginning. She fights. She finds another way. She refuses to accept that good people have to suffer for the greater good.”
“First, you knew me for a hot second. Second, maybe I'm not that person anymore,” Ava said tiredly. “Maybe becoming the Weaver changed me more than either of us would like to admit.”
“Or maybe,” Nos said grimly, “the Morrigan is in your head, making you think this is the only way.”
Bitty looked between them all with wide, frightened eyes. “What if…what if there really isn't another way? What if Ava's right and we're just wasting time?”
“Then we'll deal with that when we've exhausted all other options,” Lysander said firmly. “But not before.”
“Maybe you’re all just dreams and I’m standing here fucking arguing with myself.” She put a hand over eyes. “Look. I understand your concerns, and you might be right. But I don't know what else todo.If this is what she wants? If this is what her game really is? So be it. I’m tired of being forced to suffer and being asked to be in charge while at the same time everyone second-guesses every decision I make.”
Nos's expression softened slightly. “Ava?—”
“Shut thefuck up,Nos! What do you even care? They’re my friends, I know why they’re upset, but why you?” She looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “What is it that you’re going to lose, Nos? Nothing. Only me. And youhateme. Abigail? You don’t even know her. And I doubt you know Alex very well, either. What do you stand to lose? Why do you evencare?”
He went rigid at her shouting.
“I’m going to lose the man I love. I’m going to lose myself. I’m once more being asked to kill myself, to—to sacrifice my humanity. The one thing I fought to save through all this bullshit and I’m—” Her heart shattered in her chest. “I’m right back at where I started, but only now I have so much more to lose in the process. And if he’s still alive, and he—” She stopped as a rock lodged itself in her throat. She choked it down. “I’ll have his suffering on my soul, too. So shut thefuckup, Nos. You aren’t losingshit.”
When the stitched-together Unseelie spoke, his words weren’t cruel, they weren’t angry. In fact, if anything, they matched her sorrow. “You do not know how very wrong you are.” He turned and walked away into the darkness of the opera house.
Wiping at her tears, Ava sniffled. Fuck him. Fuck that stupid, goddamn?—
With a growl and a sigh, she threw up her hands. “I’ll go talk to him…” She went after Nos. She found him standing in one of the hallways, leaning against the wall, his head lowered, rubbing the back of his neck. His long, stringy dark hair was hanging down obscuring his features. “Nos.”
“Leave me be, Weaver.”
She stopped walking some five feet away from him, and leaned against the opposite wall. “I love him.”
He huffed. “It is obvious.”
“Why do you hate me, Nos?”
He shut his mismatched eyes. “I do not hate you, Ava. I never have.”
“Then what is your problem with me?”
“You have always represented a danger to Ibin.”
“She can fucking handle herself, from what I’ve seen.” She laughed quietly, leaning her head back against the wall. “Pretty sure she could kick my ass in a fistfight.”
Nos looked abjectly miserable. “I love her, Ava…”
It was her turn to huff. She mimicked his voice.“It is obvious.”That earned her an angry glare that made her laugh louder. God, it felt good to laugh, even if it was for something like that. “Oh, comeon.It is! I knew it from the second I met you two.” She smiled at him. “Doesn’t she know?”
He glanced away. “We have never spoken of it.”
