Page 79 of Reckless
“I’m scared,” Zoe admitted. “The job is so dangerous, and it ended your marriage to Mom after all that time. What if I never get over being afraid?”
“Being a firefighter is dangerous,” her father said slowly. “But being afraid to follow your heart is dangerous, too.”
She stepped into the comfort of his hug, the ache in her rib cage giving way to a shaky breath. “But what if I take the risk, only to lose?”
Her father squeezed her tight, holding her up in steady support. “I think the more important question is, what if you don’t?”
27
Between his head feeling like it was chock-full of old rubber cement and his shoulder locked up tighter than a CIA safe house, Alex was pretty sure this morning ranked up there in his Top Ten Most Fucktacular.
He didn’t even want to get started on the jagged hole in his chest that, while metaphorical, still hurt worse than everything else combined.
“Good morning, sunshine. Are you decent?” Cole stuck his head past the door to Alex’s hospital room, just in time for Alex to give him a one-fingered salute.
“I take that as a yes,” Cole said with a smile, and God. Nothing wouldeverrattle him. “I saw the doc in the hall. He said you’re clear for takeoff, huh?”
Alex nodded, running his hand over the sweats and T-shirt O’Keefe had dropped off when he’d gotten off shift a few hours ago. “Yeah. He just came in and did the last of the concussion protocol, and the nurse went over all this stuff with me.” He gestured to the pile of papers he’d barely listened to her review.
“Any update on your guy from the fire?” Cole asked, and Alex’s gut squeezed hard despite the news he’d finally wrangled out of one of the nurses.
“Yeah. He spent the night in the ICU while they stabilized him, but it looks like he’ll end up being okay.”
Cole’s brows lowered in confusion. “I might be off the mark here, but isn’t that a good thing?”
“It is,” Alex said, his heart starting to pound as hard as his head. “I just wish I hadn’t hesitated. I should’ve done my job better.”
“Bullshit.”
The single-word affirmation had Alex’s stare whipping up toward his best friend. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Cole said. “You didn’t hesitate yesterday because you weren’t doing your job, Alex. You hesitated because youwere. You knew I needed backup on that hose, and you knew that even though Jones is learning fast, he couldn’t do it alone. Freelancing your way down the hall on a maybe wouldn’t just have been reckless. It would’ve been dangerous.”
“But it didn’t turn out to be a maybe,” Alex argued, a nauseous pang working up from the waistband of his sweats. “I should’ve trusted my instincts.”
“And that’s just what you did, you big dumbass.” Cole’s delivery carried a complete lack of anger or heat, stunning Alex into silence. “Your instincts told you to do your job and back us up. When the game changed and you saw that guy for sure, you acted, and we did ours to backyouup. Yeah, the job is full of risks and what-ifs. But you know how to deal with those. Now more than ever.”
Alex sat still for a minute, absorbing Cole’s words, and shit, the guy was right. “Yeah,” he agreed slowly. “I guess you’re right.”
“So, how long before you come back to Eight for real this time?”
Alex held up the papers in his lap. “I’m on restricted duty for a couple of weeks, ‘til my follow up CT scan, and I’m not supposed to drive. But other than that, I’m good to go.”
Cole nodded, dangling the keys to his Jeep from his forefinger. “I’ve got you covered on the ride. What do you say we hit Scarlett’s for some late breakfast? You must be starving.”
His brain shifted from one heartache to another. Jesus, he missed Zoe. “Nah. They brought me breakfast here earlier.” Never mind that he hadn’t even touched the tray. The only thing Alex wanted was the one thing he couldn’t have.
You need to snap out of it. With how stubborn that woman is, gone is gone.
“You want to talk about it?” Cole asked, crossing his arms over his white T-shirt.
“Talk about what?” Okay, so his attempt at denial was half-assed at best, and Cole knew him well enough to see it for what it was, but still. All the talking in the universe wasn’t going to change the fact that Zoe had left.
And no matter how much Alex wanted her to, she wasn’t coming back.
“Well, let’s see.” Cole held up one hand, and Alex braced for round two of the Everett Inquisition. “For starters, you’ve nevernotbeen hungry for Scarlett’s breakfast in your life. Two, I know you spent the night in the hospital, but you look like hammered shit. And lastly”—he paused, easing up on his volume by just a notch—“I’m the one here driving you home instead of your girlfriend. So, really, dude. TheI’m finething? Not gonna fly with me.”
Alex blew out a breath, and screw it. Now was as good a time as any to get rid of the crummy feelings he’d been jamming back all night. “Zoe decided to break things off.”
