Page 66 of Reckless
“Donovan.” Captain Westin’s voice slipped through Alex’s gut-clenching thoughts, delivering a fresh batch ofothergut-clenching thoughts, and Jesus Christ, Alex wasn’t going to make it through this day.
But it wasn’t his fault he’d gone and fallen for his captain’s daughter. Or that the thought of her was the only thing keeping him from losing his fucking marbles right now.
Breathe in, you idiot. One career-trashing thing at a time.
“Hey, Cap.” Alex tried on a smile, reaching out to shake Westin’s hand. “Thanks for asking the chief to schedule this hearing as soon as possible.” The first Monday morning slot must’ve cost Westin a few withdrawals from the favor bank, and hell if the realization didn’t pang through Alex’s gut with renewed vigor.
One corner of Westin’s mouth kicked up. “I’ve been down a man on Engine for four weeks, Alex. I know you think highly of yourself, but I assure you, my motivations aren’t entirely selfless.”
Alex coughed out a laugh, his nerves scattering. “Fair enough.” He opened his mouth to tack on a joke to lighten the mood even further, but a figure down at the end of the hallway caught his attention. “We’ve got a second, right?” he asked, jutting his chin at the door with the chief’s name emblazoned across the glass in gold lettering.
“Yes, but…” Westin’s gaze narrowed in confusion before going momentarily wide as he followed Alex’s stare. “Donovan, this isn’t a good idea.”
Of course Westin was balls-on accurate. Not that it changed Alex’s mind.
He turned toward the spot where Captain McManus stood at the end of the wide expanse of linoleum and office doorways. “I’ll be right back.”
Alex’s boots thumped out a steady rhythm, his heartbeat kicking in to match it as he made his way down the hall. McManus’s normally shifty stare hardened a few degrees at the sight of Alex approaching, but the man stood firm, arms crossed into a menacing knot over his navy blue uniform shirt.
“What do you want, Donovan?”
Alex inhaled on a five-count before saying, “I want to offer you an apology.”
The thin line of McManus’s lips fell open. “I’m sorry?”
“No, sir. I’m sorry,” Alex said, drawing his shoulders tight around his spine. This was going to sting, but the words were still due. Even if it had taken him a while to realize it. “I know you and I had differing opinions on how to run that warehouse fire. While I stand by my reasoning, my actions were out of line, and for that, I apologize.”
“You apologize,” McManus said, disdain darkening the word like a heavy layer of soot. “That’s rich, coming from you. But it’s going to take more than just slick talk to get you out of this.”
Alex shook his head in a clipped back and forth, his response all truth. “I’m not trying to get out of anything.”
“Well, good, because I’m still going to recommend that you get sanctioned up to your ass.” McManus glared, and although Alex’s molars came together hard enough to test their fortitude, he refused to give in to the impulsive urge to tell the guy to get bent.
“That’s your prerogative, sir. I stand by my apology either way.”
After a minute of silence on Alex’s part and a whole lot of nasty scowling on McManus’s, Alex stepped back to break the stalemate. He turned on his heel, retracing his steps back to the spot where Captain Westin had moved closer to listen in.
“Well. I have to admit, that’s not what I was expecting from you,” Westin said quietly, his eyes showing his surprise.
Alex straightened the front of his shirt, smoothing his fingers over the FFD crest stitched over the pocket by his heart. “It was the truth. Thereisa difference between recklessness and bravery. Even though McManus and I have our differences, and God knows he pisses me off to no end, I still needed a wake-up call to remember where the line is.”
“It takes a hell of a man to admit something like that,” Westin said, but Alex wasn’t about to ditch all his personality traits just yet.
“It’s cool. I might’ve screwed up by knocking McManus down, but we’re still going to beat his house’s ass in this year’s basketball tourney.” Christ, he was practically salivating just thinking about it.
Westin’s laugh only lasted for a minute before his expression slid back into seriousness. “You might’ve done a stupid thing, but you’re a good man, Donovan. What you did for Zoe at Hope House this month…” He trailed off, and Alex’s mouth went Sahara-desert dry.
“It was all part of community service,” he croaked, and okay, yeah, the lie tasted like a mouthful of ashes with a battery acid chaser.
“You had her back out there at that soup kitchen, even when you didn’t want to be there.” Westin extended his hand, the pure gratitude in his expression sending Alex’s gut into a free fall toward his knees. “I’m grateful, son.”
Oh, God, he was on the bullet train straight to hell. He and Zoe had agreed to come clean to her father together, in private, where he’d be able to get used to the idea of them as a couple on his own terms, but damn it, holding back now in the face of the man’s sincerity just felt like a lie. Alex opened his mouth, the truth tearing a path toward his lips.
And then the door to the battalion chief’s office swung open, killing his confession before it could even fully form.
“Alex Donovan?” the chief’s assistant asked, and Alex nodded mutely over his slamming pulse. “Chief Williams will see you now.”
He auto-piloted his way into the chief’s office, his spine at full attention. Captains Westin and McManus filed in after him, leaving Chief Williams’s assistant to close the glass-paned door with a heavythunk.
