Page 32 of Reckless
“Don’t sound so shocked. Anyway, you’ve got some pretty ironclad principles of your own.”
She held up her hands, signalingguilty as charged.“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, that’s the deal at Eight, right? All you firefighters have each other’s backs no matter what.”
“We do.” Alex’s answer was slow but didn’t lack certainty. “Somehow, though, I get the feeling your father has your back even above that.”
Zoe’s inhale sent a slice of pain between her ribs, jagged and unexpectedly deep. “I used to think so.”
“But not anymore.” Although it wasn’t a question, the words hung in the air between them, wanting an answer, and Zoe took another sip from the thin rim of her glass.
“It’s complicated.”
But rather than giving in to the deflection, Alex leaned one elbow on the bar, the muscles in his forearm flexing just slightly beneath the pushed-up sleeve of his gray Henley as he got good and comfortable. “Uncomplicate it for me.”
Zoe knew—sheknew—she should let the subject drop, thank Sara for the drink, and head home to her cookbooks and her bubble bath. What’s more, she knew that when the rubber met the raceway, Alex would let her take the out if she dodged the conversation with a little more gusto. But something way down deep in her belly sparked to life at the bold yet simple way he stood there in front of her, calmly waiting, as if spilling her feelings about the recent strain on her relationship with her father was just as no-big-deal as talking about Monday’s lunch menu at Hope House.
And Zoe had been dying to spill her feelings for months.
12
One of these days, Alex was going to remember to be careful what he wished forbeforehe got to hankering, but today? So not that day. He hadn’t meant to ask Zoe about her father; hell, he hadn’t meant to say a single word beyond the apology he knew he owed her. After he’d gotten over the two-sided shock of her being in his local hangout and the down-to-thereback of the top she’d chosen for her night on the town, Alex had walked himself over to Zoe’s spot at the bar to deliver the “I’m sorry” and leave her in peace. But the hurt on her face combined with the vulnerability beneath it had his words flying out before he could temper them.
The best laid plans had nothing on this woman.
“My father and I haven’t really seen eye to eye for a while,” Zoe started, picking at the edge of her cocktail napkin with her fingernail. “I guess it all started a couple of years ago when he got hurt.”
Alex’s breath went tight in his lungs. “That was a hard time for all of us.”
It was an understatement, of course. Mason had died and Brennan had fallen off the grid in the wake of his career-ending injury only six months before Captain Westin had been hurt, too. The scene had been hairy when they’d arrived, with a storefront already heavily involved and multiple reports of entrapment. Another engine had been on scene, and Westin had relinquished his second-in-command post to run point, going inside to lead one of Eight’s squad guys and a woman who had been trapped to safety. Part of the ceiling had come down just before their exit, burning through Westin’s safety gear and knocking him unconscious. Although he’d proved his salt by making a full recovery, the second-degree burn scars on his neck and shoulder were a constant reminder that life could pirouette on a dime.
Zoe nodded, a tendril of hair spilling free from the loose knot at her crown. “It was always my mother’s worst nightmare, that something would happen to him on a call. When you guys lost Mason and Brennan was hurt badly enough to end his career, she nearly lost her mind with worry. My father swore up and down that he was careful and he’d be fine, but even as a captain, he’s always been so hands on.”
“He has,” Alex agreed. Shit, Cap had run the obstacle course with them at FFD’s training facility not even two weeks ago, and that thing was grueling enough to make Alex want to tap out on most days. “We prepare for the job the best we know how, but at the end of the day, risk still goes with the territory.”
“Maybe, but for him it didn’t have to. When he got hurt, my mother and I begged him to apply for a promotion to battalion chief.” Her voice went low, and Alex’s gut took a downward trip to meet it.
“You’re serious.” No way. The house could deal with a lot of things, but losing their captain wasn’t one of them. Westin was more of a cornerstone at Station Eight than the bricks and mortar, for Chrissake. Every firefighter in the place saw him not just as their commanding officer, but as a mentor. The glue that held them together. A father figure.
Some of them more than others.
Zoe’s expression didn’t budge. “Of course I’m serious. He’s been with the department for twenty-five years, Alex. He could’ve made chief ages ago. He just never wanted to.”
Alex proceeded, albeit with care. “I take it he still doesn’t.”
“No. My parents went rounds over it for months. The risks of the job scared the hell out of my mother, and they still scare the hell out of me. After he got hurt, my mom just couldn’t take it anymore. But he is who he is. Ultimately, she left.”
Damn. Alex—just like everyone else at Eight—had been shocked to hear about Westin’s divorce, although the man had mentioned the split once and once only. The job put a strain on even the best marriages, and probably kept countless relationships from even getting to that stage. Alex had always taken it as a given that marriage was off the table for him anyway. But still, no wonder she was so anti-risk. “Zoe, I’m really sorry.”
“I am too.” Her lashes swept downward, guarding her gaze in the low, soft light of the bar. “Their divorce took me completely by surprise. I know it’s kind of corny and clichéd, but for my whole life, our family was perfect. Like, Christmas card, backyard barbecue, Sunday dinner every weekend perfect.”
“That’s not corny,” Alex said, and damn it, the words came too fast and too loud. “What I mean is, it sounds like you were happy.”
Zoe froze against her bar stool, her shoulders becoming a long, rigid line. “That’s just the point. Wewerehappy. I mean, my parents had expectations of me and they set the bar pretty high, but that was okay. Even though my dad was a little ambitious on my behalf, what he wanted from me was mostly fair, and he and my mom always did all that they could to help me reach my goals. The three of us were a team, and we supported each other. Right up until my father didn’t.”
“He’s a damn good firefighter, Zoe.” Alex reached out, wrapping his fingers around her forearm to quell thebuthe could see already forming on her lips. “I get that it ended your parents’ marriage, and that their divorce hurt you. But just because he’s devoted to a risky job doesn’t mean he doesn’t still have your back.”
She dropped her chin, her brown gaze flashing to the spot where his hand curved just above her wrist, but she didn’t pull away. “It’s not just their divorce and my fear for his safety, although that’s certainly not either of our favorite topics.”
“Okay. So what else is there?”
