Page 40 of Queen Takes Sunfires 2
:It’s so small,:she whispered in my mind.
:A candle before of the mighty sun,:I agreed.:Though it will certainly get stronger as it begins to grow. Especially if it begins to syphon off your energy.:
:Will it, though? That is the question. I don’t know how queens normally care for infants, and I dare not ask or betray myself to them. No one will welcome an heir of Ra’s, no matter how few queens we may have.:
:It isn’t just Ra’s heir, Your Majesty. It’s alsoyourheir. If a queen, she would carry your power and bloodline as well.:
I felt her involuntary denial, that she had no such power. Even though a solar storm raged in her veins. Then she admitted, :I could sweep it away like a leaf and be free of him forever.:
:You are already free of him.:
She drew a shaky breath that made my chest ache.:I will never be free of him. He’s the only thing I have known for most of my life.:
:Then you shall know us, Your Majesty. You shall have new memories now.:
Ever so slowly, she extended a strand of fiery energy toward the delicate golden light. She touched it, and images flashed through our minds. A boiling molten sun, dwarfing everything in its path. A raging fire whipping up winds and storms, destroying everything in its wake. Earth splitting open, releasing jets of spurting lava. Forming mountains. Changing the very landscape of the earth. And above it all, a blazing symbol written in gold. An eye.
The Eye of Ra.
Shuddering, she flinched away from those images, pulling both of us from the child she carried. Though I was honored she didn’t release my hand. In fact, she clung to my fingers as if I was a lifeline holding her from tumbling away into that raging sun.
“So much power,” she whispered hoarsely. “What have I done?”
17
Karmen
Abone-aching chill spread through my body. The kind of chill that had nothing to do with temperature, and everything to do with dread.
I recognized that symbol emblazoned on the sun. The Eye of Ra had been on most of the temples, columns, and even the jewelry Ra’s priests had worn. It was like a brand, marking everything as his possessions. He might be dead, but I was still branded. Everything I touched would be fouled and marred by my memories of Heliopolis. Could I expect this pregnancy to be any different?
Emotions tore and shredded my heart. Tears. Regrets. Terror. I held the storm inside, as I always had done. But for the first time in my long, miserable life, I wished that I didn’t have to keep everything locked inside me. I wished that I could rage like that sun had burned in my mind. I wished that I could tear apart the world with my hurt and fear, or at least have the brutal pleasure of destroying something of his.
The very thing he had spent millennia trying to create. A solar queen.
Fury choked me, cracking the cold marble facade I had been doomed to present most of my life. I surged back through my body to that fragile little clump curled up inside me, and I wrapped it in flames. Sunfire essence boiled in my blood. All my hatred of Ra. Everything he had done to me. Everything he had destroyed.
All the women he had tortured, raped, and killed. My mother. My aunt. My entire fucking life. A waste.
For this. For him to get what he most wanted? It wasn’t fair. Especially if I must endure the horror of being devoured from the inside out.
I could deny him the one thing he’d wanted most. I could wipe it from my womb with a thought.
Flames crackled higher inside me. I remembered the pile of ash, all that remained of the golden robe. Images of the Sunna house burning down all over again filled my head. These men screaming, burning in out-of-control flames. Once loosed, I didn’t know if I could control this power burning inside me.
I sent up a silent prayer.:Bright goddess, Sól, what would You have me do?:
Listening, I strained to hear a response. A reason to stay my hand, or to crush out that life before more innocents could be hurt. If that giant boiling sun unleashed hell on earth… and I could have stopped it…
:The choice is yours, Daughter. You are the Eye. You are the Sun Incarnate. You are rebirth and retribution both. The Sun brings life but also destroys. Only you can decide.:
Shaken, I jerked away and opened my eyes. I still clutched Sunzi’s hand in mine. “Did you hear what the goddess said?”
He nodded, his gaze focused on me, but clear of any judgement or emotion. Just open, seeing all, and awaiting my next words. My next decision. Whatever that might be. Not trying to persuade me one way or the other.
My mind whirled so much I felt dizzy. I was the Eye… of Ra? But how? It didn’t make sense. I was destruction? The massive boiling sun?
“Why doesn’t it make sense?” Sunzi asked.
