Page 18 of Princess Takes Academy
I’d suffered and sweated and cursed at the constant mental connection as we both approached adulthood, but the silence in my head was worse. My nerves itched. My bones ached. My ears throbbed and pounded with my heartbeat.
My body knew exactly where I should be. At my queen’s feet, on my knees, begging to be made her Blood again. Begging for her family’s forgiveness for leaving her defenseless when she needed me the most. Begging for one more chance.
I would gladly endure her pranks and increasingly reckless behavior with the same stoic determination of my rhinoceros just to see her. To be near her. One more time.
“It’s not your fault.”
Tepeyollotl’s somber bass voice behind me made me leap and twist in the air like a terrified cat. I’d grown in the years that I’d been here, but he still towered over me, a mountain of a man.
Because he wasn’t a man. He was a living, breathing god, so impossibly old and powerful that I couldn’t even begin to understand all the things he’d seen in this world. He smiled, but it was a sad, grim twist of his lips that only made me feel worse.
“Itismy fault. I left her.”
He dropped a heavy hand on my shoulder, his massive palm big enough to pop my head like a melon. “Even if you’d been with her, she would have gone down the same path. She only ran faster into danger because she wanted your attention.” His breath sighed out, part growl and part sad laughter. “I know what these past months have put you through, son. Unfortunately, it’s only going to get worse as she matures. That’s why bonding to a queen so young is not typically done.”
My cheeks blazed and I dropped my gaze to the floor between us. It was one thing to acknowledge how crazy she made me as she grew up into this amazingly frustrating and tantalizing young woman. But worse to know herfathersaw my reaction to her.
“I ask this as her father who loves her dearly, though I understand you have your own honor to uphold.” Before continuing, he waited in silence. Waiting for me to look up and meet his formidable gaze.
Like a man. Like the Blood I wanted to be. Rather than the immature fool who’d fled rather than give her a kiss for fear I’d never be able to control myself.
I dug deep into the bedrock of my core. My rhinoceros snorted heavily, tossing his head to display his horn. Bigger now, yes, but nowhere near as impressive as it would be in just a few years. I was still a yearling in that regard.
I lifted my head, squared my shoulders, and stared back into the dark, swirling eyes of the god.
“To give my butterfly time to learn how to fly on her own, I ask that you consider leaving us for a time. Not in punishment. Not because of this incident. Not because I want to keep you from your oath and duty to my daughter—but simply to let her mature in her own space and time.”
I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from blurting out an adamant“Goddess, no!” The words thundered inside my head. Every muscle in my body tensed, straining to hold back my instinctual need to dodge around him and race upstairs to my queen. If I asked her what she wanted, I knew what her answer would be.
She’d never want me to leave.
Would she?
A kernel of doubt sprouted in my heart. I had left her, and she’d been hurt. Afterwards, she’d barely been able to talk at all. I couldn’t feel her bond any longer, so I had no idea how badly she’d been injured. Maybe the creepy guy had permanently broken her spirit.
The thought sickened me. My stomach quivered and heaved. My hands trembled.
Xochitl did get in trouble. Often. She was spoiled and reckless and thoughtless.
But I loved her for it. There wasn’t a malicious or mean-spirited bone in her body. You couldn’t be around her and not smile. You couldn’t be angry at her when everything she did was sparked by pure, mischievous joy. She ran instead of walked. She danced and twirled and sang badly at the top of her lungs. She laughed too loudly. She yelled when she was angry. And when she was plotting…
Goddess help you.
Goddess helpme.Because I didn’t want to leave. Not for a moment. Ever.
“I know it’s a terrible thing to ask,” Tepeyollotl continued. “If you agree to go, she’ll likely hate me for sending you away. She may even hate you. For a time.”
I had to swallow the vicious lump strangling me. “She already hates me.”
He chuckled, but his eyes remained solemn. “No, son. She loves you, but she isn’t mature enough yet to know how to handle so much emotion. In two or three years, she’ll begin to understand why I even asked this of you. In four or five years, she’ll be grateful that we gave her the space to grow into her power. She’ll be an impressive queen one day. She’ll call many Blood of her own. But you’ll always hold the first place in her heart.”
Years. Goddess. Could I bear it? Standing here now, so close to her but apart from her, was torture. What would it be like to not even know when she awoke in the morning? To not see the way her eyes lit up with excitement when she was plotting new mischief?
To not watch the way her young body swelled with curves. Her awkward yet endearing attempts to get me to kiss her. She was like a wild filly daring me to race to the top of the mountain so we could fling ourselves out into nothingness and gallop across the clouds.
I closed my eyes and listened. Not to my own wishes, because I already knew that I’d rather have lost my entire arm to the crocodile than leave her now. But to my rhinoceros, my gift from Mami Wata. Her holy waters flowed in my veins, even if only a drop or two. I didn’t have to ask what She would have me do.
I already knew. The quiet, gentle lap of waves deep inside my heart agreed with the jaguar god.
