Page 29 of Queen Takes Rook
He stared back at me unflinchingly. “It doesn’t matter. I’m still yours. Kill me if it will ease your heart. I die gladly for you. I’ve had a very long life. It’s no hardship to leave now, if it makes your choice easier. Your power is great enough to take even the headless knight to the grave.”
“It’s not my choice.” My voice broke, my heart shredded to ribbons. “It could be any of you. I can’t control it or make the choice. It’s in the goddess’s hands.”
“Where it should be.” Rik lightly touched my collarbone. “Any of us will pay the cost for you. Without question.”
I looked down where he touched me. A glittering red snake was embedded in my flesh. From a distance, it might look like a tattoo, but I could feel the tiny snake coiled around my throat, its scales settling into my skin, becoming a part of me.
Death. A part of me. A constant reminder of how much I had to lose.
I looked at them one by one. My fearless knights. My deadly beasts. My protectors. My warriors. My killers. My loves.
Tears splashed on my chest. I couldn’t breathe with the pain stabbing through my heart. Instinctively, I tried to draw away from the pain. I tried to harden my heart so it wouldn’t hurt so badly.
Itztli shook his head and reached out to take my hand, pressing a kiss to my knuckles. “Please, my queen, don’t make the same mistakes that I did, or that my mother did. Don’t wall yourself off from everyone. Don’t cut us out of your heart to avoid this pain. I know your pain is great. I know what it costs you to love us, but that love saved me. It saved Tlacel. It saved Xochitl. If you do not love, who will you save? Why save anyone at all?”
“I don’t want to be the darkness,” I whispered, forcing each word out, even though they sliced like razor blades. “Is that not what you said? I don’t want to lose anyone to remind me of how much I love the rest of you. I already know that. I don’t need the reminder.”
“I was wrong. I was lost in darkness and thought your light would only remind me how damaged and unworthy I am. But you came into the darkness with me, not to shine light on all my sins, but to stay with me. To love me, even in that darkness. You weren’t afraid to face what you saw inside me, no matter how hideous. That monstrosity is still there. I’m still dark. You’re still the greatest light of love that I’ve ever been graced by the goddesses to see. But I’m not forgotten and lost in my darkness any longer, because you’re still here with me.”
Tlacel pressed his face against my calf in the same spot where he’d bitten me to pull me out of the portal. “Stay here with us, my queen. Even though it hurts.”
Daire inched onto the mattress and curled around me to put his head in my lap. Guillaume sheathed his blade and held my other hand, his thumb lightly stroking my palm. Nevarre pushed in around Ezra, opposite Daire, so he could put his head on my other thigh, his hair sliding over my skin like silk. Mehen wrapped his hands around my left knee. Xin sat by my dragon and tucked up against my side.
My alpha didn’t move. He didn’t have to, because he was already right beside me. So close that all I had to do was tip my head to the side, and I could rest on his broad chest, his heartbeat loud in my ear.
They stayed with me, touching me, offering solace and comfort while the moon crossed the sky. They said nothing else but held me as I cried.
Even though we hadn’t completed the Fire Ceremony, the sun rose again. Dawn always came. Even if I wished it wouldn’t.
13
Rik
Iwould give my queen my last breath. Every drop of my blood. I would suffer unimaginable pain to ensure her safety.
But I could not protect her from the vision she’d received from the goddess.
Pale and listless, she refused to feed, even though I felt her hunger gnawing through her bonds. She’d taxed her power mercilessly yesterday, first saving the child, completing the ritual with Itztli, and then throwing up the shield to turn Ra’s attack aside. Any other day, I would have declared this trip an impressive victory.
She’d gained a sib, two old, powerful Blood, a new goddess patron and Her gift, an Isador heir, and, of course, she’d dealt a hefty blow to Ra. He’d lost two powerful avatars and two queens had slipped free of his traps.
Shara was more powerful than ever.
But her heart had taken a serious blow. As dawn broke, she insisted we prepare to leave immediately, and I feared she might need weeks or even longer to recover.
I didn’t know exactly what the goddess had shown her in the vision. But I read the sorrow in her heart, the tears in her eyes, and her dread that one of us would die.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’d kill one of her beloved Blood myself if that would ease her suffering.
She hurt, but only because she loved us so well.
For once, we had to wake Gina to ensure the plane was readied and Winston expected us back earlier than planned.
As we were carrying luggage to the waiting car, Mayte came racing down the steps dressed only in a robe. “You’re leaving? So early? What happened?” She took one look at the dark circles under Shara’s eyes, and gripped our queen’s hands in hers, pulling her close. “Shara, what’s wrong?”
“I spoke to Coatlicue last night.” She released one of Mayte’s hands and reached up to pull the neckline of her blouse aside enough to bare the new snake coiled around her throat. “Do you know what this is?”
“No. I’m sorry. Did She give it you?”
