Page 26 of Mine To Break
“It is if I’m supposed to be there for my partner and I’m not.”
“You’re human, Colby, not a super hero with infinite powers. You have to sleep. You have to eat. You have to take care of yourself. Or you’re no good to anyone, least of all on such a dangerous job.”
“My head knows that, but…” He shook his head, as if he could get rid of the thoughts by rattling them loose. “I’d never forgive myself if something happened to Elias on my watch.”
“Then you shouldn’t be a cop.”
He jerked with surprise and would have leaped to his feet without the warm press of her body against his.
“Hear me out. If you can’t accept the risk that either you or your partner might be injured or, God forbid, killed in the line of duty, through no fault of your own, then you shouldn’t be a cop. You shouldn’t have that risk hanging over your head day in and day out. It’ll kill you in the end.”
“Better me than him.”
Her voice sharpened. “So you have a death wish, now?”
“No. But he’s my partner. He’s got a girlfriend. A life.”
“And what do you have?”
“Nothing!” The rage in his voice shook him. Wide eyed, he stared at her, shocked by the depth of his emotion and despair. His jealousy. All without even noticing it.
“You’ve been punishing yourself all this time. Not eating. Not sleeping. Not fucking. Holding yourself to impossible standards, making yourself responsible for everything and everyone, with no hope of upholding those steep expectations forever. You can’t do it any longer.”
He couldn’t help but recognize the truth in her words because it resonated inside him like a church bell, yet something inside him resisted. Some part of his ego insisted that he could do it all. He could stand guard for Elias, for her, for everyone. He wouldn’t fail this time.
“Youwon’tdo it any longer.” Mal didn’t move exactly, but her manner changed. Her eyes hardened. Her body wasn’t soft and melted against him and her shoulders squared. She looked him in the eye and it was like she held him captive, entranced, unable to move. “I won’t allow it. If you want to be with me, you will let this monstrous sense of responsibility go.”
He couldn’t look away. Couldn’t back down. Nobody had ever challenged him like this, let alone a woman. She didn’t raise her voice or threaten him in any way, but he felt the surety rolling off her in waves. She’d regret never seeing him again, but she’d walk away in a heartbeat if he didn’t let this go. What was so stupid was hewantedto let it go. He didn’t want to be tied up in knots all the time.
Tied up. He couldn’t help but huff out a laugh, breaking the tension of the moment.
Mal’s determination didn’t soften, but she did allow a ghost of a smile to grace her lips a moment. “What?”
“You sure do tie me up in knots, Mal.”
She laughed too, letting her eyes warm with a sensual promise that he hadn’t seen nothing yet. “Now that’s a promise I’d love to follow through with, sugar.”
His phone rang in the other room and he didn’t try to stifle the groan. “That’ll be Elias, telling me he’s headed in to start the paperwork.”
She leaned back out of his space, and the air seemed to cool around him that he actually felt a chill on his bare skin. He hadn’t realized how much heat and fire she put out. She’d heated him without a single touch. “Duty calls.”
Nodding, he stood, but hesitated awkwardly. He couldn’t forget her ultimatum. Standing here in his skivies, eating breakfast with her, in her house… it made him want to stay and damn the rest of the world. He wouldn’t care as long as he had her waiting for him. Though with Mal, he didn’t think she’d be the one waiting. No, it’d be him. Sweating, shaking, trying to hold on until the next command came. Why did that sound so good?
Turning toward him slightly, she stretched out her legs, letting the robe fall apart enough to reveal the faded t-shirt she wore and a hint of scarlet silk between her thighs. She saw him looking and arched a brow at him. “What, shocked by my ultra sexy babydoll?”
His tongue felt too thick in his mouth to make words, but he tried anyway. “Looks good. Damned good. But…”
“You’re wondering about our conversation just now and whether or not you’ll be welcomed back.”
He dragged his gaze up to her face, determined to face her decision on his feet like a man. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Thank you.”
That wasn’t what he expected to hear. “For what?”
“I can have sex any night I want. All I have to do is go down to the club and see who wants to play. You let me in. You gave me your secrets. Your pain. Your truths that maybe even you didn’t know for yourself. I can’t get that from just anyone. Would it surprise you if I said our little talk just now made me want you even more than when I had you in my bed?”
His dick liked those words. “Why?”
