Page 1 of Tainted Princess
Prologue
Then
I hated the smell of lilies.
The overpowering sickly-sweet scent that clung to my hair and clothes, making it so that even once I’d left the church, the smell lingered, carrying with it thoughts I would rather not be thinking.
I stood by my father’s side, his hand clasped firmly around mine, and watched as the two caskets were lowered into the ground, their glossy black finishes soon to be hidden from view forever.
My mother and my brother.
It had been eight days since they had died. It felt like eight lifetimes.
My mother, Elena, had been a kind and gentle woman. Always smiling, she would constantly go out of her way for others. She was the first one to volunteer to help someone out, and she was always quick with a hug. If one of the other wives fell ill, my mother would work double duty, taking care of our family as well as stopping by to ensure that her friend’s fridge was full, and her husband’s socks were washed. She never complained, never faltered in her duty to be a good wife and mother, and she extended that duty to the men, women, and children in the Family.
My heart ached with her loss.
But losing my brother was like losing half of myself. It was impossible to describe being a twin to someone; they could never truly understand the bond, the absolute and undeniable closeness that comes with knowing someone from your literal first moments. Antonio was seven minutes older than me, and while we were closer than any two siblings ever were, we were also as different as night and day.
Tony was withdrawn, slow to anger and quick to forgive. He was more likely to be found reading alone in a quiet place than he was to be out playing sports and rough housing with the other boys.
I, on the other hand, was full of energy, from sunup to sundown, driving my parents crazy with my antics and demands. I was nosy and bossy and would not take no for an answer. Not a great personality for a girl to have in this patriarchal menagerie of alpha males, but where some Mafia fathers would smother those qualities in their daughter, mine helped guide me, carefully curtailing the aspects of my personality that could land me in trouble, while at the same time helping to guide me so as to not cause friction in the Organization. He walked a delicate balance, trying to draw Tony out and make him the man he was expected to be while at the same time trying to rein me in and mold me into the kind of woman that our world demanded.
For a long time, he was fairly successful.
Until today.
The cemetery emptied out around us, but my father held firm, staring at the holes in the ground that now housed half our family. I could see the other men, theCapiand theSoldati, lingering near the line of black limousines and town cars, giving their grieving Underboss the time he needed to come to terms with his new reality.
It would never be enough.
Finally, as the sun started to set and the cool breeze picked up, my father spoke.
“Mia stellina.”My little star. He spoke quietly. So quiet that I could barely hear his words over the wind. “Your mother, your brother. I loved them so, but they were soft. This life, our world, it has no place for soft people.” I glanced up at him, watching as his face practically aged before my eyes. Sorrow was etched in every line and every furrow, making him appear to be withering right in front of me. “I will not have you share their fate, Francesca. I refuse to lose you, too.”
I didn’t understand. I was told my mother and brother were killed when their car ran into a cement pillar. It was an accident. How could he be talking about the same thing happening to me? I kept silent, as was expected of a girl child, and waited for him to explain.
“From now on, Francesca, you will live two lives. You will grow into exactly what they expect of you, the perfect example of a Mafia wife and mother. You will be beautiful and meek and demure, the shining star of our Organization, a prize for any Made Man to try to earn.”
I swallowed thickly at his words. I had always known my fate, but hearing him lay out my future, so simple yet so very difficult for me to comprehend, made my stomach clench. I feared I could never be what they wanted, what they all expected me to be.
“But in secret, with me at your side, you will become something none of them expect. You will become a warrior, a fighter, a machine built for the Mob. You will be smarter and stronger and braver than any of them. And when the time is right, when you have bested every single one of them, you will reveal your true worth. Not just a doll to dress up and show off, no. You,mia stellina, will be a true queen. And this city, this Family, will rue the day they thought they could fuck with a De Marco.”
And so we began.
I trained at his knee every night after he came home. He would test me, sharing secrets and information that, up until now, only men had been privy to.
The better I got, the more my father pushed me.
By the time I was fourteen, I was an accomplished fighter, brawling with the kids in the ghetto, picking fights where no one knew who I was, and winning every single one.
At sixteen, I knew the ins and outs of the business like no other Family member. My father schooled me in our enterprises, testing me on decisions he was being asked to make, presenting me with scenarios as he came across them, and training me to see problems from all possible angles to come up with the best and most profitable solutions.
At seventeen, I made my bones.
In secret, and away from the eyes of the Family, my father stood at my side as I pressed a gun to a man’s head and pulled the trigger, knowing that he needed to die for the good of the Outfit and not caring one whit that it was me that made it happen.
It was the duty of every soldier to perform the tasks asked of them, and in my father’s eyes, I was the same as every other Made Man.
And always, my father asked me to swear to never let the life get the better of me.
“Promise me, Francesca, that you will always do what is necessary to protect yourself. That you will put your wellbeing first, and survive, no matter what the cost.”
I made him all the promises he asked for; I would keep our work a secret, I would uphold myOmertàvow, never revealing the things he taught me. I would do my expected duty as a Mafia wife when the time came. And of course, I would do the De Marco name proud and carry on his legacy when the time was right.
In return, I only asked him for one thing; to allow me to marry for love.
It was the biggest mistake I would ever make.
