Page 14 of Bring Me Back
“I need you to understand something,” he says.
“Okay, what?” I ask, wanting to move this along and get inside.
“You need to be patient with her. You need to really think about everything she says, and ask yourself why she would do what she did.” He stares back at me, his eyes giving away everything, yet nothing at all.
“You know. You know what she’s been hiding, don’t you? How the fuck could you keep this from us? For ME?!” I pull away from him, a feeling of betrayal ripping through me. “How the fuck could you do this?! You know how I feel about her! That I…you know I would’ve helped her!”
“Don’t you dare get loud with me, Beckett. You don’t know shit! You’re only thinking about yourself here. Why don’t you just calm the fuck down and think about her. Think about Jaxon! You need to go into this house with an open mind. You have to see things from her point of view, or go the fuck home.” He shoves me back, walking inside without another word. I know he’s right. What he’s saying is rational. I do the best I can to push my own hurt down and take a deep breath. I have to hear her out before moving forward.
Walking through the front door, I see my friends milling around the kitchen the way they always do. Jaxon is showing Everett a charcoal drawing in the living room, and they both smile. I know Ev is proud of the skills Jaxon has built over the last few years here. A calm realization settles into my chest, warmth spreading through me. Jaxon and Willow are embedded in this family. They belong here with us in the same way we all do. No matter what Willow has to say tonight, this is their home. I won’t let her throw that away. Willow talks quietly in one corner with Breaker, tears silently sliding down her cheeks. I want to kiss every ounce of uncertainty from her face right now. He seems to be trying to comfort her, but it’s clear she doesn’t want to be doing this right now. He shows her a flash drive, and she closes her eyes. Pain echoes across her face, and I’m filled with the urge to slam my fist into his jaw forcausing her even a second of distress. Finally, she nods, straightening her back and giving him a small smile. She whispers something into Jaxon’s ear before kissing his cheek and walking to the bar that separates the kitchen and living room.
“Guys, I guess I have some things to tell you,” she says, her voice soft and fragile for only a moment before she takes a deep breath and starts again. “It might make you all a little angry. But I hope…I hope you can understand why I’ve done what I’ve done.”
“We’re all here for you, Will. You and Jax both,” Ember says, giving her a reassuring hug and taking a seat next to her at the bar. Kelsea reaches across the countertop and takes Willow’s hand, giving her a soft smile.
“I think it’s probably best if I just start at the beginning. I grew up in a small town in Mississippi. Honestly, it was a lot like Grovewood. Until Satan’s Renegades moved in. They called themselves a motorcycle club, but they lived outside the laws of society and didn’t give a shit who questioned them. To call them a club is really an insult to all the great motorcycle clubs out there. They were more of a gang than anything else. A few people tried to push back against them when I was young. They often left town or lost everything they had to ‘accidents’ and things like that. After a few years, they seemed to settle down and kept to themselves mostly. The older I got, the more they seemed like…celebrities, I guess. They had everything they wanted and spent their days partying, what teen wouldn’t be drawn to something like that?” Her eyes are glassy as she dredges up her past. I want more than anything to wrap my arms around her and comfort her right now, but we all need the rest of the story.
“When I was 14, my parents were killed in a car accident. I had nothing. No money, no family, nowhere I belonged. The judge in our town signed my emancipation request, something I know now was all part of a plan I knew nothing about. I felt like I was hot shit, like I really knew something about the world. And then I met Cooper. He was so handsome and so charismatic. He was young, only about 18, and had just become the president of Satan’s Renegades. We all knew what he’d done to get that position, but nobody could prove it. It helped that his father was the sheriff in town and he could get away with murder. Literally. I didn’t know he’d had his eye on me for a long time.” She takes a deep breath. Jaxon stands against the counter with his arms crossed tightly over his chest. Wherever this story leads, he’s angry about it. I clench my fists, having a good idea of where this is heading.
“It’s okay, Will. You’re safe here,” Rory says, handing Willow a tissue. She wipes her eyes and steels her spine to continue her walk down this demented memory lane.
“Well, he was perfect in my eyes. So strong and confident, and he wantedme. I felt like that was somekind of accomplishment. Out of all the women in the world, he chose me. By the time I was 15, I was pregnant with Jaxon and, given the circumstances, the only logical and appropriate thing to do was to get married. That’s just what you were supposed to do, and I had this twisted idea that creating a new family would fill the gaping hole in my life where my family had been.” Tears stream down her cheeks, and my heart aches for her. I’m more grateful than ever before to have had all the memories I’ve had with my parents.
“That’s not twisted, Will. You were in pain. You wanted to be happy,” Everett says, standing a little closer to Jax. I see Jaxon lean towards him just the slightest bit, taking the invisible threads of support Everett is offering.
“I did. I had no idea what the search for that kind of happiness would cost me. As soon as we were married, he became someone else. It was like he flipped a switch and lost all humanity. He would scream at me over the smallest things, call me names and insult me every chance he got. He always told me I was so lucky to have him, because no one else would ever want me. He would lock me in the closet, telling me I wasn’t worth the space I took up in his house. After Jaxon was born, it didn’t take long before things got even worse. He started completely ignoring my boundaries and pressuring me into doing things I was so uncomfortable with. Sometimes...with other people. I always said no, always toldhim I wasn’t his to just give away like that. It was almost like he saw that as a challenge. After that, things got physical.” She winces, and I know she’s remembering things she would rather never relive.
Her gaze meets mine. Pain, unrelenting and overwhelming pain, pours out of her beautiful eyes. It’s killing her to tell this story. I don’t even realize I’m shaking with anger, my fists balled so tightly the blood isn’t circulating through my fingers anymore. I want to kill him. I want to erase every fiber of him from the face of this earth for ever taking such a beautiful soul and crushing it in his hands. For taking the brightest light in this world and snuffing it out so easily. For ever daring to touch what ismine.
I give her the slightest nod, willing her to go on. Her eyes close, and I know we aren’t through the worst of it.
“He…he felt like I was his property. Like he could do anything he wanted to me and no one could stand against him. He took…everything. Things I never want to give him. Whatever he wanted from me, he just took it. If I said no, he laughed. If I fought back, he showed me who was stronger. By the time Jaxon was ten, I’d had twelve broken bones and more internal injuries than I could count. I didn’t feel like my body was my own anymore. Luckily, word had spread that the club was making money. There were so many women hanging around the club, he barely ever came home. I was grateful for that. Because when he did, he was always drunk and looking for a fight. I did everything I could to protect Jaxon, to make sure he was never the target of his father’s rage.” She looks at her son, pure adoration in her eyes. Jaxon is red with anger, tears streaming down his cheeks as his mom recounts some of the most painful times in both of their lives.
“The day I decided to leave was the first time he tried to raise his hand to Jaxon. His whiskey glass got broken, and he blamed me. We fought, he pushed me, and I fell into the broken glass. He left me to clean up the mess and got drunk with his buddies. Eventually, he passed out in bed. I knew then it would only be a matter of time before he went after my son. I packed everything I could into my car and drove as far as I possibly could. And we landed here.” She smiles softly at Breaker, and his lips tilt into a half smile.
“That night, I met a man of very few words. He listened to me pour my heart out in a diner at midnight, sobbing about the fear I felt over running and wondering what the hell I was going to do by myself. For some reason I’ll never understand, he wanted to help us,” Willow says, and Rory looks back at her husband with pride.
“Don’t make me a saint. I couldn’t just leave you there crying. People would think I was a total asshole.” Breaker scoffs, and Everett laughs out loud.
“Dude, youarea total asshole,” he jokes, and Breaker shrugs him off.
“Breaker built us a new life here, erasing any connection to who we were before and where we came from. I’ve done everything I could since then to make sure no one could find us here. I thought keeping everyone at arm’s length would keep you all safe if Cooper ever found us here.” She drops her head into her hands, her shoulders shaking as she sobs quietly. She looks drained, and I think we all feel it. We sit in silence, all of us coming to terms with the information she’s unleashed on us.
“Your back, the scars, he did that to you?” Elijah asks quietly.
She nods quietly, her eyes dropping to the floor. Jaxon pushes off the counter, stomping through the house and out the back door.
“Let him go. He doesn’t like remembering these things. He blames himself for not protecting me. But he couldn’t, he was just a little boy.” Her voice cracks as tears roll down her cheeks. She covers her face, and Ember wraps her arms around her shoulders. Willow’s whole body shakes with sorrow, and I feel her pain burrowing deep into my soul.
“Neither one of you is to blame, Will. No one deserves that kind of life. You did what you had to do to protect your baby,” Rory says with conviction.
“I’m so sorry I lied to you all. I kept so many secrets…I-I-” she struggles to catch her breath.
I slide Ember out of the way and wrap my armstightly around Willow’s shoulders, folding her into my chest. Her fists grip my t-shirt, her sobs muffled by how hard she’s burrowing into me. I glide my hands down her back, letting her get her emotions out after holding them together for so many years.
“It’s okay, pretty girl. It’s gonna be okay,” I tell her, and she clings to me tighter. Her nails dig into my back as she holds on to me for dear life. Everett slips out of the room, following Jaxon outside to make sure he’s okay. I breathe deeply, slowly, in and out until she’s following the same pattern.
“Helo is right. Everything is gonna be okay, Will,” Kelsea says with a smile. Willow laughs, resting her head against my chest.
