Page 43 of Bring Me Back
“Jaxon Hayes,” the announcer calls, and my heart skips in my chest. A collective gasp sounds across ourfriends, before the hoots and hollers sound from the guys. He meets my eyes across the stadium, staring straight at me with his wide, toothy smile.
My name.My son.
Sometimes, the biggest moments in life don’t need many words. This feels like a declaration. His powerful way of saying, “You’re my family. I choose you.” There’s no stopping the tears that spill down my cheeks. As much as I hate crying in public, or at all really, I can’t contain the overwhelming emotion I feel knowing he chooses me the same way I choose him. I’ve never felt more invincible than I do right now.
“You knew, didn’t you?” I ask Willow without taking my eyes off of Jaxon crossing the stage. He moves his tassel across his cap, and the guys cheer loudly, making him laugh.
“I knew. He asked me if I thought it would be okay, and we went to the courthouse last week to change it. He’s almost 18 now, it was his choice to make. He’s officially a Hayes. Ironically, before me.” Willow replies with a laugh.
My dad pats me on the shoulder, and my mom doesn’t even attempt to hide her tears. The entire group is a mixture of sniffles and shouts as he makes his way back to his seat to wait for the ceremony to finish.
“It wouldn’t have mattered. He’s still my boy. I still love him like he’s my own.” I say, sniffing and blowing out an uncomfortable breath.
“I think that’s why he made the choice he did. Because he feels the same way,” she replies, and I nod. No matter what our names are, whether we’re related in the traditional sense or not, this is my family. Nothing can ever take that from us. This kind of love isn’t given lightly. It’s chosen deeply and deliberately. It’s family that is not just a word. It’s trust earned, love that wasn’t automatic, but grown. It’s proof that the effort, the patience, the showing up day after day meant something to us all. I feel so much pride, and equal parts disbelief. Like a chapter I didn’t know was missing has finally been written into my life.
twenty-eight
Four months later
I wasn’tsure this day would ever come. When I landed in Grovewood, I thought I was finding a safe place to hide from the pain and fear I was desperate to outrun. Never in a hundred million years did I ever dream I would be standing in this beautiful garden, in a house that is my home in every way, waiting to walk outside and marry the love I spent my entire life searching for.
Beckett is more than I ever felt like I deserved in a partner. But I know now, the way he treats me and the way he makes me feel is exactly what I’ve always deserved. The faithful way he loves me is my wildest dream come true.
“You ready, Mama?” Jax asks, a wide smile on his face.
When we started planning this wedding, I always assumed Jax would be the one to walk me down the aisle to Beckett. But Jaxon had other ideas in mind. When I asked him, he turned me down, suggesting I walk alone. At first, I was hurt. But once we talked it through, I agree it’s more fitting for me.
I’m more myself with Beckett than I’ve ever been before. This version of me is powerful and independent. I can stand on my own, letting Beck support me but never control me. His love for me is deep and unending. With him, I’ve considered things I never thought were possible in my life. I could go to college. I can figure out what I want to do, not out of necessity but out of desire. There’s no limit to the things I can do with him beside me, and I know no matter what I choose, he supports me. As long as we do it together, he doesn’t care where this life takes us.
“I’m ready.” I say with a smile.
I pick up my flowers, cream-colored lilies wrapped in a soft green ribbon, and take Jaxon’s arm. Next week he leaves for art school in London. Knowing he will be a world away is truly terrifying, but I’ve given him all the tools he needs to create a beautiful life and the knowledge to understand we are always here for him, should he need us. All I’ve ever wanted for my son was for himto take what I’ve built and run with it further than I ever have.
We walk around the patio towards the lawn where everyone has arranged a small ceremony for Beck and I. When we started planning this wedding, Beckett told me not to hold anything back. If I wanted it, we made it happen. This was the first time in my life I had no limits to bringing the vision I had alive. Surprisingly, what I wanted wasn’t elaborate. I would’ve been happy with Beck and I in a courthouse in Charleston, but this is the first and last wedding ceremony either of us will ever have, so I figured we should make it count.
The low-country air is thick with salt and jasmine as the fall sun slants through the canopy of live oaks, their limbs heavy with Spanish moss that sways in the breeze. Beneath them, a clearing opens up, just wide enough for a few white wooden chairs and a simple arch twined with greenery and climbing Aster. It’s an intimate gathering, only our friends and family surrounding us. We only wanted the people who knew and loved us long before our stories intertwined here to support us today.
“I’m proud of you, Mom,” Jaxon says, and my eyes sting with tears. Most people would think parents are the ones who should always have pride in their children, but the weight of hearing your child say they’re proud of you is something different. Something so much more amazing.
“Thank you, honey. I hope you know I never would’ve been strong enough to make it so far in my life without having you here to motivate me. You’re the best thing I’ve ever created in this life, and I’m so very lucky to be your mom.” My palm brushes his cheek, and he pulls me in for a tight hug.
“I love you, Mama. I’ll see you at the altar,” he says, kissing my cheek and walking through the hanging moss and down the small aisle. He stops to hug Beckett where he stands in front of the officiant and then takes his place beside him.
I can see Beck, but he can’t see me yet. Taking a few moments just to enjoy the view, I watch him chat with our friends. His white linen shirt is rolled up to his elbows, corded forearms and tattoos on full display just how I like him. He is truly a beautiful man. He smiles at his parents, laughing easily at something his dad says, and another piece of my heart melts into his smile.
He is all mine. Wholly and completely, forever and ever. Our love is old-world, the kind that spans lifetimes and centuries, constantly searching for each other. And now we can finally relax into our life together without the sins of our pasts looming over us.
A violin plays a soft, romantic song as everyone turns their attention to the end of the aisle. I take a deep breath, stepping through the trees barefoot, my dress trailing just enough to catch the ground. I can’t help thesmile that breaks across my face when I see Beckett. Tears fill his eyes instantly, and I find myself thanking my lucky stars for the kind, strong, emotional badass that chose me out of all the women in the world. His hands tremble slightly, but his smile gives away all the joy he’s feeling. When I finally reach him, I know my entire life has been leading to this walk, this moment with him. I hand my flowers off to Ember as she blubbers happy tears.
“Hi, pretty girl. You are exquisite.” He smiles widely, and a blush creeps up my cheeks and chest.
“Thank you. You clean up pretty well yourself, mister.” I say, smoothing his shirt across his chest as he takes my hands in his.
“If anyone here has any reason why these two should not be wed-” the officiant starts and Jaxon cuts him off.
“They can shut the fuck up.” He says, drawing laughter from everyone here.
“That’s my boy,” Beck says with pride.
