Page 40 of Bring Me Back
The next two days follow the same pattern. By day three, I’m climbing the walls. They moved him out of the ICU and into a regular room, but he hasn’t woken up. I’m sure I need to deal with Cooper’s death legally in some way. I know I need to deal with my son’s mental state. Eventually, I’ll need to eat and shower, but I can’t drag myself away from Beckett’s side. He would never leave me, even for a moment, if the roles were reversed.
“Knock knock.” Claire’s pleasant voice comes through the door. “You have to take a break, sweetheart. You haven’t eaten anything that didn’t come from avending machine in days. You need to shower and regain some sense of normalcy. I promise I’ll stay with him. And if something should happen, I’ll call you right away.”
I know she’s right, but I can’t fathom leaving him. If he were to wake up and I’m not here beside him, I can’t imagine the sense of disappointment he would feel.
“I can’t leave him. He’s a part of me. I’ve seen his soul. Not just the best parts, but the messy, raw, human pieces and he’s all I’ll ever want. I cannot leave him. He would never leave me.” My voice is watery, but they get the point.
“Let me at least go get you something to eat?” John asks, and I nod.
Claire sits down next to me, neither of us saying anything but both feeling the same heaviness. We stay that way, comfortable in the silence for several long minutes before a groaning sound draws a gasp from us both.
“Beck?” I say softly, holding myself back from shaking him awake. I want to hear more, I want his voice, his beautiful words. Reaching out to grip his hand in mine, he gives me a small squeeze.
“Holy fucking shit, thank you, thank you, thank you. I’m here, Beck. I’m right here.” I tell him, squeezing his hand back hard. I push the button to call the nurse into the room. Relief squeezes my bones, every inch of my body relaxing after days on edge.
“Your mom’s here too, honey. You’re gonna be okay.” I say, more to assure myself than him.
“I’m right here, baby. And Dad is just down the hall. We’re all here, B. Come back to us,” Claire says, her voice wobbly. Hearing her speak to him the way I speak to my own son nearly breaks me. As much as I see this man as my future, as a strong protector, she will always see him as her baby boy. That’s a feeling I can definitely relate to.
“Wiuhhhmmm” a sound leaves his lips, but it’s not very coherent.
“It’s okay. Take your time. The nurse should be here any minute.” I say, pushing the button a few more times. I understand they’re busy, but what the hell is taking so long?
Beck’s dad comes through the door before a single member of the medical staff does and I’m pissed. The man could be bleeding to death in here! Even though he’s out of the ICU, he’s still seriously injured. I throw the door open, poking my head out into the hallway towards the nurse’s station.
“If somebody doesn’t get in here in the next 10 seconds, I’m going to lose my fucking shit!” I scream, and three nurses appear from behind the desk.
“She’s a bulldog, ain't she?” John tells Claire, and I smirk. He’s not wrong.
“How can we help you?” The only nurse willing to confront me asks.
“He’s awake,” I say, taking my place back at his side.
Her eyebrows shoot up, and she busies herself with checking his vitals, turning down the lights before checking his pupils. She leans over the side of the bed, and jealousy grips me. Yes, I understand she’s doing her job. Just like I demanded her to do only moments ago. But she’s too close to him for my comfort.
“Mr. Hayes, can you hear me?” She asks, leaning closer.
“Jesus, do you wanna just climb in his lap?” I mumble under my breath, and Claire snorts out a laugh behind me.
“Sorry.” I say, offering her a half smile. I’m not sorry.
“Don’t be, dear. I know the feeling well.” She says, shooting her husband a smile. He truly could be Beck’s twin, just older.
“Wiuhhhmeee” Beck groans again, and panic floods my system. What if he suffered some kind of brain damage during surgery? It’s okay. I can handle it. I will help him through anything, as long as he’s still here with me.
“Mr. Hayes? Can you open your eyes for me?” The nurse asks.
“Will you…” he takes shallow breaths. The doctor warned me that he would have to regain the function in his lungs. I rub my thumb across the back of his hand, across the tattoo he got in honor of my past life.
“Will…” he says, and happy tears roll down my cheeks.
“I’m right here, baby. I’m right here.” I tell him, and the nurse leans back slightly.
Yeah bitch, he’s taken.
“I’ll go find the doctor,” she says, walking out of the room.
“I can’t…” he winces, taking a deeper breath.
