Page 13 of Bring Me Back
“You think we don’t know how to handle danger here? We faced danger hundreds of times to help each other, Willow. And we want to help you! But we can’t do shit if you don’t tell us what’s going on.” His pleas are desperate, and I wish more than anything I could demolish every wall I’ve built and find solace in his arms.
I see the faces of my friends, all tuned in to our conversation but maintaining their distance. Their eyes hold the same questions as Beckett’s. Suddenly the room feels smaller and smaller. The air around me is thick, and I struggle to catch a deep breath. Pinpricks slide down my arms as the panic sets it.
Fight or flight.
Fight orflight.
Flight has always been my first instinct in situations like this. Without another word, I run. Barely slowing to grab my bag from the desk, I run straight out the front door, climb in my car, and drive without looking back. I can’t see the confusion on their faces again. It would break me.
The last thing I want to do is drag Jaxon away from our home right before the next chapter of his life begins. But I will do what I have to do to keep us safe. Even if it costs me the life I’ve always dreamed of.
I’ve called Jax 7 times with no answer. I have no idea where to go from here. There’s no way we can stay. How can I ask him to leave? How can I leave? I love my life here. I love my friends. If I’m honest, deep down, I do trust them with this secret. I don’t think they would look at me any differently. But risking their safety? That’s a risk I could never take. If Cooper finds me, he won’t stop at just hurting me. He’ll make me suffer. I was lucky both my parents were dead by the time I married Cooper. I don’t even want to think about the torment he’d inflict on the people I love here.
I pull into the driveway and see Jaxon on the ground working on his bike. His music is blaring through the speakers he keeps in the garage. I slam my car door, stomping across the gravel and smashing the power button on the sound system.
“I called you half a dozen times, Jaxon! Obviously, it was important!” I shout at him, and he looks shocked. We don’t speak to each other this way, but I have very little control over my emotions at the moment.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I’ve just been here working. Is something wrong?” He asks, wiping his greasy hands on a shop towel. My boy, he looks so much more like a man every day. But the need to keep him safe from every evil in this world will never go away.
“We need to go,” I say, my heart still racing in my chest.
“What do you mean go?” He asks, his brows furrowing.
“I mean we’ve been here too long. We have to go. That’s how we stay under the radar, Jaxon. We can’t stop moving. I thought…I don’t know what I thought. But I know we can’t stay here anymore. I can’t keep looking my friends in the face every day and lying. I should’ve known better than to get attached.” I run my hand through my hair, trying to make sense of the chaos in my mind.
“I get that, Mom. But I’m not leaving Grovewood.” He says, standing a little taller.
“This isn’t a negotiation, Jaxon. I’m the parent here. We don’t have a choice. It’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and this is how I do it,” I tell him, and he just shakes his head back at me.
“This is our home, Mom. I’m only a few months from graduation. I’m not leaving Grovewood. He hasn’t come looking for us in all these years, what makes you think he would even bother now? He didn’t give a fuck about us when we were living under his roof! I understand you’re scared, Mom. And I wish I could’ve protected you then. I’m so sorry I couldn’t,” his voice cracks, and tears fall freely down my face.
“I never expected you to protect me, honey. You were just a boy. You never should’ve been in a position likethat in the first place. I should have-” I say, and Jaxon shakes his head.
“No. I won’t listen to you blaming yourself for the shit he did anymore, Mom! You did everything you possibly could have. You didn’t deserve the things Cooper did, and you don’t deserve to carry the weight of that around for the rest of your fucking life! His mistakes are not your responsibility, Mom. I won’t watch you throw your shot at happiness and a family who loves us away because of him. If you won’t tell them, I will,” he says with finality.
I sob into my hands, so proud that he’s the kind of person who stands up for himself and what he wants, but terrified of where that could leave us.
“Tell us what?” I hear Embers voice and the sound of a car door shutting behind us. I didn’t even hear them pull up.
Ember, Kelsea, and Rory walk across the lawn hesitantly. I’m sure we look like a huge fucking mess right now. Jaxon, heated and shouting. Me, sobbing with mascara running down my face. I’m shocked no one has called the cops by now. But not as surprised as I am to see my friends at my doorstep.
“Nothing. I’m sorry for running off like that. I’m just…it’s just… I’m sure I just need some rest or something,” I reply, furiously wiping under my eyes to avoid looking like a raccoon.
“It’s a little late for more bullshit lies, don’t you think?” Rory says, rolling her eyes at my excuses.
A dry, bitter laugh escapes my lips. I know she’s right. This is my chance to lay everything out on the table.
“I think we probably need to call the guys before we have this conversation,” a heavy sigh falls from my lips. It’s now or never.
nine
We all agreeto meet at Breaker and Rory’s house. The whole drive there, a million thoughts race through my mind. We’ve all known for years that she’s hiding something, but I’ve tried not to let my mind make assumptions. I don’t want to expect the worst and change my own mind about the quality of her character. Everyone has their reasons for keeping secrets. Unfortunately, our secrets have a way of making it out into the light of day eventually.
I park next to the front door, my leg bouncing with anxiety. The girls are already here, and the guys are slowly pulling in behind me. As much as I want all the lies and secrets out in the open, I’ll admit I’m scared to find out the truth. What if whatever she’s hiding changes everything? What if after everything comes out,she still wants to run? I’ve always struggled with jumping to the worst-case scenario, and there’s a war raging in my mind right now. A fleeting thought crosses my mind for only a moment, and I try to grab it and hold on to it as tightly as I can.
What if whatever she’s hiding changes everything?
What if I can finally tell her all the things I’ve kept to myself, because I know in my soul she feels the same way? Mentally, I’m beating the shit out of myself on a playground because I sound like such a little bitch. But I can’t hide the way I feel about Willow. I never could. As we make our way up the front steps, Breaker grabs my shoulder, pulling me to a stop as the rest of the guys walk inside.
