Page 25 of Tell Me No
“It’s great to meet you, sweetheart,” Sam, his dad, says. He pulls me in for a side hug and I smile. His parents are adorable. I expected a typical older couple, but that is not what I’m looking at right now.
Sam is tall and stocky. His hair is jet black, the tiniest flecks of grey surrounding his temples. And his arms are covered in various tattoos. His face is the only thing that gives away his age, obviously weathered by age and time. Lainey is a different story. Her long curly hair is fully grey and the laugh lines around her mouth and eyes tell the story of a life well lived. I see a small tattoo on her wrist, but I can’t quite make out what it says.
“Sam,” Jason whispers in my ear, and I furrow my brows, confused.
“That tattoo on her wrist? It says Sam. I’ve told her for years it’s bad luck to put anybody else’s name on your body like that. But she always says we make our own luck,” he explains.
“Oh man, I love that. I don’t know if I could ever be so brave, but I love that,” I reply.
We fall into the most comfortable conversation over dinner, everyone sharing pieces of their lives like one big happy family. As much as I loved growing up with such an amazing mother, I always hoped to have a big family like this one day.
After we’ve all eaten and cleaned up, the guys all head out onto the porch to drink whiskey and talk shit the way men always do. Ember rocks a fussy Silas on the couch while Kelsea chases after Scarlett as she squeals, running through the kitchen. Lainey and I sit at the bar, watching the chaos unfold.
“I’ve always wondered what this house would sound like filled with kids. I guess I got my answer,” Lainey says, a question dancing behind her eyes but not passing her lips.
“Something you wanna ask me?” I say, giving her an easy smile.
“I could ask you if you love my boy. But I already see that all over your face, honey,” she replies and I nod, warmth spreading through my chest. “I suppose what I really want to know is if you’re gonna keep loving him. Jason has a long road behind him, and lord willing, ahead of him, too. I’ll be pleased as punch if the life ahead of him has you in it, dear. But I can promise you it won’t be sunshine and rainbows every day. He’s come so far from the scared boy he was when I first laid eyes on him, but those memories stay with you for a lifetime. The scars on his body are nothing compared to the ones on his soul.”
“That’s saying a lot, because I’ve seen the ones on his body,” I whisper, recalling the number of circular burn marks on his back and shoulders, as well as the raised, jagged lines where his flesh was mangled from his time in the Corps. She nods slowly, peering at the guys laughing on the back porch.
“I’ve loved him the best I could with all my might for almost his entire life. I’ll leave this Earth loving that boy as if I brought him into the world myself. But it’s your turn to love him the way he needs to be loved now,” she says, giving me a warm, genuine smile that makes my eyes burn with unshed tears.
Part of me wants to weep for Jason, for the childhood that was stolen from him. But the other part of me is so proud of the man he is today. He thinks there’s nothing worth loving in himself, that his soul is tarnished by the lives he’s taken. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. He’s a man of integrity and morals, who isn’t scared to get his hands dirty to cleanse this world of the evil that lurks below the surface. The back door opens and loud laughter follows the group of men as they all step inside. The smile stretching across Jason’s face is one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen.
“That. That smile is the reason I know he loves you, too. I haven’t seen that smile in a very, very long time,” she says, clasping my hand tightly in hers. I didn’t realize how badly I needed her blessing until right now, but her eyes tell me everything I need to know.
fifteen
It takesan entire hour for us to say our goodbyes to our friends and family. I hug Jason’s parents, promising them another dinner soon, and close the front door. Jason is cleaning up the last little bit of dishes from the night and I take a second to appreciate the delicious sight in front of me. My man, in all his glory, stands at the kitchen sink. His black dress shirt is unbuttoned and hanging open, revealing the dark contrast of ink staining his tan chest. His sleeves are rolled up to the elbows, hands wrist deep in soapy water. His neatly styled hair has fallen out of place over the course of the night. Now the longer strands on top are falling across his forehead.
I don’t think there’s ever been a man I thought was beautiful until I laid eyes on Jason Negan. The muscles in his forearms flex as he scrubs a plate, rinsing it and setting it to the side to dry. Watching a man wash dishes shouldn’t be so fucking erotic, but here I am, ready to drop to my knees in front of him right now.
“You gonna stand there all night watching me, princess? Or you gonna come help?” He asks, a playful grin on his lips.
“Oh, I’m definitely gonna keep watching,” I tell him, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth.
He stops what he’s doing, drying his hands and bracing them against the countertop. He stares into the water like it holds all the answers to the universe’s questions. Then those steely grey-green eyes meet mine, the fire in them incinerating me to the very core.
“I’m not… I’m not good with words most of the time, Aurora. I think something was broken in me, in my foundation, when I was little. Too many years of being left to fend for myself, or laughed at when I cried. Too many times, the people who were supposed to love me hurt me. I have a difficult time recognizing these things for what they really are. But that’s what this is, isn’t it? Everything I feel for you, this is what love is supposed to feel like?” His voice sounds so fragile, like a child asking a question he knows will change his entire understanding of the world around him.
It takes me three steps to cross the space between us and take his face in my hands. He rests his forehead against mine, wrapping his arms around me and breathing me in the way he always does. Like I’m his serenity in a world of chaos, his refuge in the storms that have battered him beyond recognition.
“Yeah, baby. This is love,” I tell him. My lips find his and I pour every ounce of tenderness I possess into this kiss. He kisses me back like a desperate man, like the realization that he loves me is obliterating every wall he built to guard himself from everyone else.
He pulls my body to his, clutching me so tightly the only breath I have the ability to take is his. His hands slide down my body, hooking under my ass and lifting me to sit on the countertop in front of him. His lips never leave mine, drawing the life out of me like I’m the only thing keeping his heart beating. Rough hands skim up my thighs, pushing the edge of my sundress up until he exposes my bare flesh underneath.
“Of course. Do you ever wear panties, Aurora?” He asks, laughing against my lips.
“Not if I can help it. And definitely not when you’re around,” I tell him.
His thick, rough fingers skim the seam between my thighs. Wetness is already pooling there as he slides his fingers easily across my skin, bringing them to his lips and sucking them clean in a gesture so obscene my mouth falls open.
“Fuck, you taste so good, princess. I could spend the rest of my life between your thighs and never be happier,” he says, his voice deep and husky. He drops to his knees in front of me, not sparing a breath before his mouth covers my center. The feeling of his tongue dancing across my clit drags a moan from the depths of my soul as I thread my fingers through his hair. His hands grip the outsides of my thighs, fingers digging in to the flesh there with a punishing pressure. He’s holding on for dear life, devouring me so completely. His tongue lashes across my sensitive flesh and I whimper, gripping his hair by the roots and tugging him exactly where I need him.
“You want the control here, Aurora?” He asks, pulling his mouth off of me and cocking an eyebrow as he glances up at me. The picture of this mercilessly powerful man on his knees before me is one I’ll never forget.
“I just want you,” I tell him with all the sincerity I can possibly express. His lips curve into the most heartbreaking smile. It’s one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen.
