Page 39 of Tell Me No
Fuck. My. Life.
As if Jason and I didn’t have enough problems right now, I added two cracked out chipmunks into the mix.
He comes back through the door, pulling a shop vac behind him, and I burst out laughing. The devastating smile that splits his lips is like staring at the sun. Damn, the man is a problem solver, that’s for sure. He crouches down to Silas’s level, smiling at the mini version of Elijah.
“Sy, it’s gonna be a little loud ok, buddy? Just be still,” he says, his voice soft. My ovaries physically throb with the brand new desire for this man to put a baby in me. Literally, the last thing we need right now is another life to support and protect, but I wouldn’t complain.
My nephew nods, glitter falling onto the front of Jason’s black shirt and down to the floor. But he seems completely unfazed by the mess. He flicks the switch for the vacuum, raking it softly through Silas’s wild brown curls. Silas’s laughter is infectious as I hold him in place while Jason finishes cleaning the mess. He turns the power off and Silas falls into Jason’s arms, nearly knocking him on his ass. My heart clenches at the sight of two of the most precious tiny humans in my life loving this man almost as much as I do.
“No more glitter, ok?” He says, tapping Silas on the tip of his nose.
“Kay, Baker. Now ookie, now ookie!” The little boy squeals, his request catching his sister’s attention. Jason is barely standing before they’re both in front of him, their tiny grabby hands fisting up at him as they beg.
“Hey, now. No cookies until we get some supper, okay?” He says, scooping both of them up and holding one on each hip.
Holy fucking shit, I want to kick these kids out and worship this man right now. I have never seen a finer sight than Jason Negan carrying babies around this house. The expression on my face must give away everything I’m thinking because he comes to stand in front of me.
“Later, princess. After we talk,” he says, placing a kiss on my lips that, although quick, isn’t lacking in heat.
“No, I tiss Aunt Roro!” Silas shouts, puckering his tiny lips and giving me a sticky kiss. Why is he sticky? I have no clue.
“But Aunt Roro is mine, buddy,” Jason argues, not gaining any ground with Silas.
“Daddy says share, Baker,” Scarlett says, leaning her tiny head into the crook of Jason’s neck.
“Thats right, baby girl. I guess we do have to share, huh?” He tells her, putting a squirming Silas back on the ground and carrying Scarlett to sit at the kitchen table. I scoff at the idea that this man could ever share any part of me with anyone else, even a toddler.
“This is all very domestic, Mr. Negan,” I trail behind him and Scarlett, pulling plates from the kitchen cabinet and setting them on the island. He puts her down on top of the table I just removed her from and I roll my eyes. That girl could get away with murder, I swear.
The gate buzzer goes off and I see the pizza guy waiting to be let in. I enter the code on the panel and watch the gates swing wide. As I wait for him to make his way down the driveway, I take a second to envision this future for myself and Jason. Watching him chase our own children around this house would be a dream, if I’m being honest. I know many people would say I’m too young to be thinking about kids right now, but my soul has more miles on it than I care to admit. Nothing sounds more appealing to me than turning this place intoourhome and watching our own family grow. But I still feel so uneasy about where he and I stand. I know he loves me, that much I could never doubt. But will he let himself have this happiness? I don’t know.
twenty-four
It’safter 1 am by the time Ember and Elijah come to get their kids. I hate to disturb Aurora as she sleeps so soundly on the couch, one arm wrapped around each baby. This could be my future. We already made our commitments, and god knows I meant it with everything I have. But we’re at a crossroads here. Do we keep going down this path, even though the destination may come with dangerous territory?
After putting things into motion today, I was able to convince Iris to take over my share of the field work. If she agrees to really do this, I’ll be able to be home much more and I won’t spend nearly as much time behind the scope of my sniper rifle. But there could still be jobs too big for him to handle alone, and I need her to understand the danger that comes with this life.
I open the door before Eli has a chance to knock, and bring a finger to my lips to keep them quiet. Gesturing towards the couch, Ember lets out a soft ‘awwww’ before snapping a picture of the three of them snuggled up together.
“Don’t worry, I’ll send it to you,” she tells me and I wink back at her.
“I hope they weren’t too much. We’re trying really hard not to raise little assholes, so I hope it’s working out,” Eli says, and I laugh. Of all the toddlers I’ve ever met, which obviously isn’t many, these two are the best ones.
“They were great, really. Any time you guys need a break, just give us a call,” I tell them and Ember’s face softens. She leans up on her tiptoes, placing a quick kiss on my cheek.
“I’m proud of you. She’s a keeper, for sure, Break. And she loves you, which is all that really matters,” she says, patting my arm. I give her a tight smile, emotion wrapping around my heart and squeezing like a vise.
Elijah scoops up his children, resting them against each shoulder, and they barely budge. Aurora, on the other hand, shoots up in a panic. See us all staring back at her puts her instantly at ease, and she stands, stretching her long limbs before placing a kiss on her niece and nephew’s heads.
“Thank you,” she tells Ember, and they hug each other tightly.
“For what? I’m supposed to be thanking you,” Ember replies, more than a little confused.
“For bringing the most incredible tiny humans into this world and making my brother a little bit less of an asshole,” Aurora says, her eyes twinkling with humor at the last part.
“I do my best,” Ember snickers, picking up the twins’ bags and heading for the front door. “See you guys later!”
My latch barely clicks on the front door before Aurora jumps into my arms, wrapping her legs tightly around my waist and threading her fingers through my hair. Her lips clash against mine so insistently, her tongue licking across the seam of my mouth until I allow her entrance. This is definitely not what I expected, but I’m not gonna start complaining now. I know we need to talk, need to work out all the bullshit details, but I couldn’t break away from this kiss, even if I wanted to. A deep groan rumbles from my chest as she presses her body against me. All her soft curves meet all my sharp edges, and I fall for her all over again.
