Page 35 of Tell Me No
“Fuck, what took you so long?” I wrap my arms around his neck so eagerly, pulling him so closely, I’m practically sewing our bodies together. My nails dig in to the muscles of his shoulders, but he squeezes me back just as tightly.
“I told you I’ve always got you, princess. I never gave you a timeframe,” he jokes, and a dry, harsh laugh spills from my lips.
He pulls a bandana from his pocket, wiping the blood and sweat from the side of my face, peppering frantic kisses across my skin. His hands skim over my body, checking for any unseen damage. I soak in the feeling of his touch, closing my eyes and breathing him in.
“That was an excellent shot,” I whisper into his neck.
“I’d never miss. Not with my life on the line,” he replies, smoothing my wild hair out of my face.
“We need to get the fuck out of here. The clean-up crew won’t be far behind,” Iris interrupts.
“He’s right. Let’s get back to my place before the girls lose their shit,” Jason says, curling my body into his side as he leads us out the open garage door.
twenty-one
We’ve been sittingaround the fire pit on my back deck, enjoying the calm after the storm, for almost two hours now. My friends are laughing, joking like Aurora’s life wasn’t almost taken from us all. As incredibly grateful as I am to know she’s safe, I can’t help the feeling of guilt sitting like a boulder in my gut. If it wasn’t for me, she never would have been in the position to be taken. As long as I continue my line of work, she’s always going to be a target. Fuck, she was my wife for less than 24 hours and someone already used her as my weakness. She is the greatest weakness I will ever have.
As the light of the flames dances across her face, I know I would rather die alone and miserable than ever be responsible for harm coming to her again. I should have known better than to think I could find my true happiness in this life and get to keep it. People like me never get so lucky.
“Hey, you okay?” her soft voice is like a balm to my fears. But the demons still lie in wait under my skin, constantly reminding me that I reached past the gates of hell to find her and now I’m dragging her back with me. I can’t do that. I won’t.
Instead of a reply, I give her a tight smile, knowing she would see right through me if I lied right now. Her brows draw together, always so perceptive of my mood, even when I don’t say anything out loud.
“Okay, I love you guys, but get out,” she says, her eyes still locked on my face. I feel heat rise in my chest. I know she can see through my defenses straight to the fear and anxiety taking up residence in my mind.
“Well, that’s rude as fuck,” Iris replies, standing and stretching his arms over his head.
“No, she’s right. We should all head home,” Eli says, nudging Ember as she dozes against his shoulder.
“Thank you all so much. I can’t… I mean, I wouldn’t…” Aurora struggles to find the words, her eyes welling up with tears.
“Hey, you never have to thank me, Bug. No matter whose wife you are, you’ll always be my baby sister,” Elijah says, pulling her in for a bone-crushing hug and kissing her head softly.
“I love you, bubba. So so much,” she sighs, clinging to his shoulders.
We make the rounds, saying our goodbyes. Aurora keeps her eyes on me the entire time, hugging everyone but never straying far from me. I know I’m going to have to tell her what’s on my mind, but I have no idea how to do that without making her think she’s to blame for my feelings.
I love her more than I ever imagined I could love another person, but I won’t put her in danger again. My life is one long battle against the kind of people who kidnap girls from club bathrooms.
The front door barely latches before she lays in to me. “Talk,” she demands, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning a hip against the kitchen island.
“Nothing. It’s nothing,” I tell her, already knowing where this argument is gonna lead.
“No, Jason. We don’t get to do that anymore. No more secrets and lies. No more running. Tell me what your issue is,” she demands. The strength in her voice is incredible, considering what she’s just been through.
“I just… this was my fault, Aurora. You never would have been on Figueroa’s radar if I didn’t love you the way I do.” Her features soften slightly at my words.
“Jay, I know you’re blaming yourself for this. I see it in your eyes. But that’s a lie, honey. The only person responsible for what happened to me is him, and you already made him pay for that.” She makes everything sound so easy, like this was a one-time thing and she isn’t in danger just by being with me.
“As long as you’re with me, you’re going to be a target, Aurora. I could never live with myself if something happened to you because of me.” I plead with her to understand how conflicted I am about this. “It’s selfish for me to keep you, knowing I’m putting you in danger.”
Her back stiffens, the weight of what I’m really saying finally settling over her.
“Are you saying you don’t want this?” She says, the edge in her tone sharp enough to slice me wide open.
“I could never say that, princess. That would be the biggest fucking lie I ever told,” I say, defeat seeping into my bones.
“Bullshit, Jason. Don’tprincessme. If that’s what you’re saying, if you’re telling me you think it’s safer or better or whatever the fuck you think it is for us to be apart, then be a man, look me in the eye, and say it.” The one thing I love more than anything else is her fearlessness. She never shies away from calling me on my bullshit.
