Page 62 of Barbed Wire Fences
Jealously flares in my chest which is ridiculous and stupid considering I have no right to be jealous and the last time he dated her was the same night I went on a date with Owen… a guy he hates.
“So, are you still dating her?” God, I hope not considering the things that we did in Lainey’s basement.
He shakes his head no. “It was never anything serious. We both knew she was moving at the end of this summer, and it’s always been casual. She’s headed to Charlotte in a month for her master’s degree.”
“Okay, so just fucking then?” I don’t know why I say it except now I’m feeling petty.
He shrugs. “You told me not to talk about my sex life.”
“Yeah, but that’s super recent, Rhett!”
“And?”
“I mean…” I hesitate, biting on my lip and trying not to sound desperate for details and pathetic that I haven’t been having casual sex too. “Do you still have feelings for her?”
“I never did in the first place and neither has she.”
“Okay, but you must have liked her if you went on multiple dates?”
He shakes his head slowly. “Jael, what is it that you want to know? Just ask it. I won’t lie to you, but I think you need to be honest with yourself on why you’re asking me all these damn questions about a woman I’ve already said doesn’t matter.”
I blink at him, and he stares at me. I know he can read it all over my face and I’m sure I look pathetic to him. I’m just too embarrassed to ask.
He sighs when I don’t respond. “She was just someone to pass the time with. They all were. That’s all any woman’s ever been to me.”
There’s a weight behind his words that makes my chest tighten. He doesn’t say more, but I can feel the unspoken truth that’s lingering in the air.
Were they all just placeholders because he was waiting for me to come back?
That thought feels selfish, indulgent even, and yet I can’t help but wonder. I’d moved on, or at least I’d tried to with my ex. Christopher was the only serious relationship I’ve had since Rhett and since that ended, I haven’t been dating. But was it even real? Or was he just someone to pass the time with, too?
As if he’s reading my mind, he cuts through my thoughts like a blade to my heart. “It’s because none of them were you, Jael. None of them could have ever replaced the spot I kept in my heart for you.”
The honesty in his voice wrecks me. I nod because I get it.God, I really fucking do. More than he even realizes or I can verbalize.
My heart twists painfully as the words hang between us, raw and unfiltered. He leans forward against the island, strong forearms pressed into the cool marble closing the small distance between us until our faces are only inches apart. His eyes lock on mine, burning with intensity, and his voice drops, low and steady.
With other men I would pull back, try to put some distance and break eye contact, but with Rhett I feel safe. I always have and I find myself leaning closer to hear what he’s going to say instead.
“I want you to hear me so clearly when I say this. I tried to forget you. Since the day you pushed me away and stopped responding to my messages. I’ve fought like hell to move on, to not let the ache of missing you consume me. But it’s never left. That night in Lark’s basement, I thought I could do it. Push past your words and the silence, but it reminded me of everything that we’d lost. Not just our friendship, but the baby, too and it fucking wrecked me. Fucking broke me.” He pauses for a moment, hesitating as if he thinks he’s said too much but then he shakes his head, pushing forward. “Fuck it. Because I did think of you as fragile for so long. I wanted to be the one to pick up the pieces for you, to help heal you, but you didn’t want that from me, and I had to accept that no matter how badly it hurt me to do so.”
His words hit me hard, and my throat tightens. “I... I’m so sorry, Rhett,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away. After everything happened, I—”
He nods, cutting me off with the smallest tilt of his head, and then he straightens, standing tall again. But his gaze never leaves mine.
“I think I’ve spent all this time searching for someone to replace you,” I say softly, my voice heavy with this confession. “But all I’ve done is settled for less. Over and over again. Because deep down, I didn’t think I deserved better. And maybe... maybe I was scared I’d never find what we had again. I’m so sorry. For everything. You deserved better.We deserved better.”
He moves around the island until he’s standing between my legs. His gaze burns, heavy with unspoken words, and before I can think, he’s gripping my hips, lifting me easily and settling me on top of the cool countertop.
His hands land on either side of me, caging me in, his presence overwhelming as he digs his fists into the surface, steadying himself.
“What are you doing?” I whisper.
Our lips are only an inch apart, his chest is rising and falling in measured breaths, each one pulling my focus as we linger here, suspended in the unspoken—the years of silence, the words left unsaid, and the confessions that hang between us now like fragile truths.
Then, with a tenderness that steals the air from my lungs, he lowers his forehead to mine, closing his eyes to rest there. Our breath mixes and I can feel the heat and connection that we’ve always shared flowing through my veins.
“Fuck, Jael,” he murmurs, voice cracking under the weight of the moment. “I’ve waited so long to hear you say those words.”
