Page 56 of Barbed Wire Fences
He watches me closely then slowly nods his head.
“You were just trying to defend me, I get it.”
He gives a slow nod, a crooked grin tugging at his mouth. “If I’m being honest, there were selfish reasons too. Never hurts having an excuse to kick his ass.”
I laugh lightly. “You know we didn’t, by the way. It’s embarrassing that he lied about that and even more embarrassing that I let it get to the point where we could have.”
“So… you guys didn’t hook up after the high school football game?” he asks carefully.
I shake my head no and sigh. “Look, I know you think I have zero self-control when it comes to Owen and that he still has his ‘claws’in me, or whatever you said at my mom’s house, but I swear, it was a momentary lapse in judgment even going to the football game with him. I shouldn’t have. I had a horrible time. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.” I run my fingers through my thick hair.
“I think I just came back to town, and he was the first person that I ran into, and I thought it was a sign. It brought back old memories, and it felt like a good way to reconnect with the people that I left behind. But when we got back to his place, and he started sucking on my face... let’s just say it reminded me why I’d broken up with him ten years ago and so I stopped things before they went any further.”
He nods again, his gaze softening slightly as he watches me.
“It certainly didn’t help that he called me a bitch on my way out of his house. I’m sure that’s part of why he’s spreading another rumor about sleeping with me. He wasn’t happy that I turned him down.”
“He called you a what?” Rhett says, his eyes darkening as he steps toward me.
“It’s fine,” I say, waving him off. “I gave him an earful about how disappointing his dick was anyway.” I bite my bottom lip and glance behind him at the quiet waiting room. “I think the problem with time and distance when it comes to old relationships is you start to only remember the good moments and you forget all the bad parts. You romanticize what you had.”
He nods slowly. “I see… And do you think you remember our relationship through rose-colored glasses? Or have you only been focused on the hard parts?”
That question takes me by surprise. When I first got back to Whitewood Creek, I tried to focus on the good—the memories that didn’t sting. But ever since Lark’s basement, all I’ve been able to think about is the pain. The heartbreak. The ache that settled between Rhett and me and never really left. I’ve been heavily focusing on the bad parts.
When we were younger, Rhett and I fought constantly. Petty, childish stuff that didn’t mean anything. But as we got older, we became each other’s safe place. We had each other’s backs, no matter what, just like his mom had predicted. And for that one fleeting summer after graduation, we wereeverythingto each other.
Rhett was always my protector, tender in ways that I didn’t know boys could be. He looked out for me, stood up for me, and that summer he showed me what love was supposed to feel like. What it meant to be cared for by a good man. To be respected.
Rhett set the bar too damn high and ruined me for everyone else.
And frankly, I’m not sure how I ever let myself get engaged to Christopher in the first place. Because everything about him is the exact opposite of Rhett. The way he treated me, the way hespoke to me, it could have never held a candle to the way Rhett that had made me feel.
Maybe, deep down, I’ve spent all these years chasing after someone who treated me poorly because I was trying to convince myself that’s what I deserved. That way, I wouldn’t have to admit that I still missed Rhett, and I was the reason that we weren’t together anymore.
He’d been the boy who’d been my first real friend in Whitewood Creek. And the man who stole my heart that summer under the hot, sticky North Carolina sun.
“I think I remember our relationship exactly how it was,” I say, biting my lip nervously. “It was beautiful and heart breaking in its own ways and at separate times. Maybe I have been focusing on the negative. But now, I want to think about all the good parts.”
His eyes grow more seriously as he steps closer until my back is against the cold, hospital wall and his chest is practically pressed to mine. “I couldn’t agree more. So, you won’t be seeing Owen anymore?”
“I haven't seen him since that football game and will not be making any attempts to ever see him again.” My voice drops to almost a whisper. “Like I said, it was a momentary lapse in judgement and reminded me just how disappointing everything about being with him was. You can trust me, Rhett.”
I know that will make Rhett feel better to hear, but I hadn’t expected those words to send a wide grin spreading across his handsome face that takes me back to the boy I’d once loved.
“I told you—once you’ve been with me, no one else will ever compare.”
I roll my eyes but laugh easily, smiling back at him.
“Hey, what time do you get off work?” he asks.
“Five.”
“Do you want to get food and try to have a civilized conversation where we properly catch up and don’t bring up the past?” he asks. His gaze is more intent now and I can tell we’ve crossed some sort of imaginary hurdle in this conversation and are moving in the right direction.
I don’t even have to think for a second, the sleep deprivation, frustration towards Owen’s lies, and the flame that I’ve always held for Rhett drives me forward.
“I’m going to need some strong coffee if you aren’t going to let me get a nap first.”
