Page 91 of Barbed Wire Fences
“I… I love you.”
He stomps towards me. “That’s not good enough. What do youwantfromme?” he presses, his eyes pleading.
They’re brimming with emotion and pain, memories of our carefree days by the lake flood my mind and I wish we could go back to them. It’s always been him. Even when I was running away, even when I was heartbroken in my apartment, crying over the baby that I’d lost; I’ve always been running back to him.
“I don’t know, Rhett!” I shout out in frustration. “I don’t know! I love you and I always have but I can’t tell if that’s enough. I don’t know if my love is enough for you! I don’t know ifI’menough for you. I’m broken, I’m sad and yes, at times I’ve pushed you away, I always seem to do that. But I don’t want to. Because I love you.”
His hands drop to his sides as he takes a few steps away from me like my words have shocked him then he says, “Take off your clothes.” And it’s a command.
“W-what?”
“I said take off your goddamn clothes. We’re getting in the lake.”
“Are you crazy? It’s pitch dark out here. Who knows what’s in there right now!”
But Rhett’s already shedding his clothing, revealing his strong physique illuminated by nothing but the moonlight. I’m sure if anyone saw us right now, we’d get a ticket for skinny dipping but none of that seems to be crossing his mind as he stares at me, his cock hanging heavy between his legs in nothing but boxers, watching me with eyes that say he’s not messing around, and he wants me to undress too.
“I don’t recall you caring about what was in the lake ten years ago,” he continues. “So, take off your clothing, and get in the damn lake or I’ll undress you myself.”
“Why are you doing this?” I whisper, not budging yet.
“You seem to be having trouble figuring out what you want to do next. The way I see it is that you have two choices at thispoint, and it’s between loving me and leaving. You can’t do both anymore. I’m trying to help you figure that out.”
I nod, letting his words sink in before slowly stripping off my dress and standing in front of him in nothing but my bra and underwear. His eyes rake up and down my body as if he’s drinking me in, committing the view to memory before he steps toward me.
"Good. Now take my hand and get in the damn lake with me." Rhett’s hand is steady when he reaches out, solid in a way that makes me feel rooted even as everything around me feels unsteady. I hesitate for half a second before slipping my hand into his, and just like that, he’s leading me into the water like we have so many times before.
The lake’s still warm from the summer, holding on to the last bits of the season even though autumn’s just around the corner. We wade in deeper until the water reaches my chest, the heavy weight of it surrounding me.
Rhett lets go of my hand, turning to face me, his movements slow and deliberate as he treads water in place. Even in the dark, his eyes find mine with an intensity that makes me want to hold my breath at fear of drowning.
Rhett was the one who taught me how to swim when we were kids, something my parents never cared to take the time to do. It was shortly after he tossed me off the deck and then had to save me from drowning in the lake. And in a way I feel like I’m drowning again. I wonder if he’ll save me this time.
“Float,” he says, his voice softer now, like he’s coaxing something fragile. His hand presses gently against my back, guiding me until I’m lying on the surface of the water just like how he taught me to do. “Just like we used to.”
I let myself go, let the water carry me, let the sky and stars above fill my vision. The moon casts a silvery glow that feels too perfect, like something out of a dream. And before I know it, the tears are hitting me out of nowhere, stinging my eyes as memories crash into me.
My mind fills with the moments we’ve shared, the simple beauty of being here with him again. The way I used to feel when we’d relax in inner tubes on the water as kids, swapping our favorite music and Rhett’s mom’s snacks. The sounds of the night, the soft chirping of crickets, the occasional croak of a toad, it all wraps around me, slowing my heartbeat until I feel weightless. Thoughtless. Like the water is holding not just my body, but all the emotions I’m too tired to carry anymore.
The tears spill over, and I let them until minutes drag by. After a while, I shift, finding my footing beneath me in the shallow end we’ve drifted into. Rhett hasn’t moved. He’s still floating on the surface; his gaze fixed on the stars like he’s searching for answers in the sky.
“Sometimes, when things got tough after you left, after you told me that you lost the pregnancy, I’d come out here and float,” Rhett’s voice breaks the silence. “You know I built the natural-pond pool in my backyard as a replica of this lake.”
“I know,” I say because he’s told me that before and it’s wild how much they look alike. Anyone who’s seen Whitewood Creek’s Lake would know that’s what it is. “They’re almost identical. It’s amazing what you’ve learned how to create with your hands.”
Rhett stops floating and moves to his feet but staying just a few inches away from me.
“When I started building the pool, I hadn’t been thinking about the lake at first. I wanted something different, something that blended in with the natural landscape behind my property andsurrounding trees. But as I got into the design more with Lark, I started realizing I was subconsciously building it to look identical to this lake.” He pauses for a moment, his face tilting up to the sky again and then back to me.
"You know, I assumed it was just a coincidence. I grew up here my whole life, maybe it had been seared into my memory. My mom didn’t take me on vacations or trips growing up; we couldn’t afford it after my dad left us so young. So lazy summer days were spent in inner tubes or playing by the shoreline as a kid and I continued that tradition when you moved to town.
“But when you left a few weeks ago to go back to Richmond, I was sitting on my back deck one night, having an ice cold beer, feeling miserable and looking out at the moon reflecting off the pond, and I realized, it’d never been about recreating the lake that I grew up playing in, it was always about trying to recreate the one place that made me think of you. Holding onto the last shred I had of you.”
I draw in a deep breath as I let his words sink in.
His eyes turn more serious again. “Jael, I’m not letting you walk out of my life again. If you leave this time, you’re not coming back. It broke my heart when I found out you had sex with Owen after we did, even if you had every right to. I felt like you were ashamed to have slept with me first and lost your virginity to me.” He shakes his head sadly.
“But with time and age, I realized we were all just doing the best we could. Trying to make sense of the world, navigating raging hormones and emotions. We hadn't been dating, you hadn't cheated on me, I didn't have any right to be mad. I just hoped one day you'd see that you had feelings for me too. It seemed like you did when we got together before you left, but then you left and cut me out so casually. That hurt. I thought we werepast that until you left again last month, and fuck, it just brought everything back to the surface.”
