Page 90 of Barbed Wire Fences
“You needed to figure things out on your own. You’ve never listened to me. I told you Owen was a piece of shit, and I told you Christopher was a piece of shit, too who never saw your value. You never wanted help from anyone. You never wanted me to protect you, care for you, distract you, but I did it anyway. Even when you pushed me away. Even when you ignored me after you moved to Richmond, I kept in touch with your mom so that I could know you were safe. Before I even knew you, Jael, I’ve been looking out for you. And I’m so damn tired of telling you that and you not believing me.”
“Rhett, I told you, I didn't go back to Richmond to get back with Christopher, and I didn't ask you to look after me when we were younger.”
“I know that, but damn it, Jael, you needed someone to! Your mom wasn’t protecting you like she should have, and your dad was abusing you.You had no one but meto keep you safe. And I know you sure as hell would never have asked for help because your ego is bigger than the whole state of North Carolina, but I did it anyway because you needed me to! And then what did you do?” He presses his hands in front of him, pleading with me.
“You went and gave yourself to Owen like you meant nothing. Like you weren’t the most precious person in my life. And I know we weren’t dating; you didn’t owe me that, but fuck, I thought that I’d been doing a good job of showing you your worth. And even the thought of you doing that with Chris again,” he tugs on the back of his neck, his hazel eyes tortured.
“Fuck, when are you going to learn? These guys don’t see you the way that I see you! They don’t know you the way that I do. I see you, Jael. I fuckingsee you, but when are you going to see me?”
Tears sting my eyes as I take a step back, the weight of the last ten years crashing over me with Rhett’s confession. The mistakes I made, the way I handled it all back then so poorly, and hell, the way I’m screwing it all up now.
I’m hurting Rhett. I’ve hurt Rhett when all he wanted to do was help. I don’t want to anymore, but I can’t seem to help myself. Regret claws at me, sharp and overwhelming as I try to figure out how the hell to make this all right.
“I can’t do this anymore, Jael,” Rhett cries out, his anguish is written all over his face and I feel horrible knowing that I’m the one who put it there. “I can’t fucking do the last ten years over again. You keep leaving, and each time you do, I wonder how I’m going to get over it. How I’m going to get past you.”
His eyes lock onto mine, and for the first time, I see it, it’s sadness instead of anger. It hits me harder than I expect, and before I can process it, he does something I never saw coming. Without a word, he turns away from me, giving me his back me he heads towards Lainey and Lark’s house. And that’s when I know, this time I’ve pushed him too far.
My own insecurities, the past that I never dealt with, the childhood wounds, it’s all finally caught up. And I’m about to lose the one person who’s ever loved me if I don’t finally grow up and make things right.
“Rhett, wait, please,” I plead, rushing after him and catching his hand just as he reaches the bottom of the steps.
He shakes his head, not meeting my eye. “Jael, I can’t do this. I can’t have you walking back into my life just to leave again.” His voice is heavy with resignation.
“Please listen to me. Don’t turn away from me.”
“Why?” his voice is soft. “Why shouldn’t I?”
“Because.” There’s no hesitation in my voice anymore. I know it in every fiber of my being. I’ve known it for ten years and it’s why I’ve never really let him go. And it’s why I need to be the one to say this first. Because I’m the one responsible for us not keeping in touch. And I’m the one who left. Again. “Because I’m in love with you, Rhett Miller.”
He freezes, his back to me, his hand resting on the porch handle.
“What did you just say?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper.
Tears stream down my cheeks as I nod my head. I’ve known it since I was a child. Knew it when I was back here a month ago, too. I wish I would have said it then.
I love you and I always have.
“I love you, Rhett,” I repeat, louder this time.
Then, in one smooth motion, he turns around, steps toward me, lifts me effortlessly over his shoulder, and starts striding toward his truck.
“Rhett!” I gasp.
I don’t even have time to react before he places me in the driver’s seat, buckles me in, and without saying a thing, fires up the engine. The truck roars to life before he backs out of their driveway and we’re off into the night.
“Where are we going?” I ask, my voice barely audible above the roar of the engine.
His eyes are fixed on the dark road ahead, his palm landing flat on my thigh possessively. “Back to where it all started.”
Chapter 31 – Jael
The gravel crunches under the tires of Rhett’s truck as we roll into Whitewood Creek Trailer Park where we grew up.
He takes a sharp right, heading straight for the lake, the place where so many of our childhood memories are buried deep. When he parks, he’s out of the truck in a heartbeat, walking over to my side and opening the door, offering me his hand. Then he shuts the door behind me without a word and starts walking toward the water, leaving me standing behind watching him.
I follow him slowly, my eyes tracing his every move as his gaze stretches out across the water, lost in whatever thoughts are swirling in his head. Then he yanks off his baseball cap, runs a frustrated hand through his hair before turning it backwards.
“What the hell do you want with me, Jael?” he asks, his voice soft and in pain as he spreads his arms wide in defeat.
