Page 81 of Barbed Wire Fences
Unfortunately, the countdown to her leaving is coming fast, and now feels like the time to bring up the inevitable so that we can have a more serious conversation.
“So, you have a week left on your contract with the Whitewood Hospital. Have you decided what’s next?”
She sighs, rolling onto her stomach, taking the sheet with her like she wants to be covered for this conversation. I hate that.
“I love my career. I’ve really fallen in love with the traveling aspect of nursing. And I love my home back in Virginia.”
And now I hate where this is going.
“I hope there’s a ‘but’somewhere hidden in there?”
She gives me a weak smile. “I don’t have the best memories growing up here, and when I left, I’ll admit, I didn’t see myself ever returning – but being with you these past three weeks… it’s been … healing. You’ve reminded me that not all the years I spent here were bad. You’ve reminded me of the friendship that we built on so much trust and… um…”
My heart races as I listen to her words because I want her to say it. I want her to say it so fucking badly. Tell me she loves me. Words we’ve never said before, but I can tell they’re on the tip of her tongue.
Tell me you’re staying. Tell me you want this for forever. Tell me we can do long distance. Tell me you see me.
Tell me you won’t leave me again, Jael.
“It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can have your career, travel the world and still end up in my bed,” I say, offering a lifeline and feeling desperate.
She smiles as she traces one of my pecs with her finger and then kisses it gently.
“I don’t know, Rhett. Being here for a month, it’s easy to get caught up in a whirlwind of old feelings with you, but when reality sets in, what will you want? What will I want? I don’t have a steady career here like I do in Richmond. What would I even do for work? Doctor Walker said there isn’t currently a position at the hospital for me…” she trails off and that has me wondering, did she ask?
Was she looking into staying but there’s no jobs available? Is that the real problem? If so, I’ll go talk to my sort-of brother-in-law Hayes Walker right now and beg him to make her an offer that she can’t refuse.
“I mean, Christopher ended things so abruptly with me, I’ve been on the run avoiding him ever since. I don’t really know what I want.”
She’s wrong. She’s so fucking wrong because she wants me. I know it. She’s just refusing to say it now. But I’ve heard her whisper it at night when she comes, I’ve watched her beg for me. And that goddamn ex-fiancé has her confused again.
I’d be glad if I never heard Chris’s name again. I know I can’t push her; it isn’t fair with the career that she’s built, but I also want her to know that I’m not unsure of what I want. I want her.
“There’s no hesitation from my end. I know what I want and what Iwillwant in the future. I want you, Jael. But I understand that probably isn’t fair for me to tell you. You’ve got a whole life you’ve built that doesn’t include me and a career that you’ve worked hard for. I just want you to know where I stand so there’s no confusion.”
She gives me another weak smile before pressing a soft kiss against my lips. “I want you too, Rhett. I just don’t know what that looks like anymore.”
Long distance. I’ll promote Lark to manager so that I don’t have to do so much. Fuck, I’ll fly to wherever she is. I’ll beg Hayes to give her a job so she can stay. I don’t get to say any of that though because she’s standing up, wrapping the sheet around her tightly like she’s ready to leave.
“Tonight was a lot of fun, but I should go back to my hotel. I need to get some rest before my next 12-hour shift tomorrow.”
And though I don’t want Jael to leave my backyard, my home, or this small town that we both grew up in, I know it’s the right thing to let her go so that she won’t be exhausted for her shift and put her patients at risk.
We dress, and I load her up in my truck, making the short drive back to the hotel where she’s staying. I open the door of my truck for her, helping her hop out and pausing her because I want her to know that the conversation we started tonight isn’t over.
“Let me walk you up to your room so I can be sure you make it in there safe.”
She smiles at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me in for a kiss.
“You’ve always been looking out for me, haven’t you, Rhett?” I hold her like that, savoring the slowness of her kiss. Something about it always holds me captive. When her lips open slightly, I take it as a sign to sweep my tongue inside, tasting me and her on her mouth and loving the way it feels.
“What we talked about tonight, I’m not finished. Will you let us pick that conversation back up when you’re done working this week?”
Her green eyes are softer when she nods. “Yes.”
“Um. Jael?” a voice says from somewhere off to the side, interrupting the moment.
Jael freezes, dropping her arms from where they were gripping my hair as if she’s been shocked. We both slowly turn to see a man standing in the entrance to the hotel, his hands shoved deep in his pockets watching us.
