Page 59 of Barbed Wire Fences
My stomach flips. I bite my lip, trying to keep the intrusive thoughts at bay, but they sneak in anyway, just like they always do.
What do I even bring to any situation? Why would a man like him want to date me? Does he want that, or is this just a quick catch-up amongst old friends? I don’t own my own home. Other than my career, one that I’ve fought tooth and nail for and am genuinely proud of, I’m never in one place long enough to grow roots. And I don’t even know what I want long term.
Do I want to stay in Richmond permanently? Or would I rather keep moving around like I have these past few months? Do I want kids someday? Or am I too broken for that, too?
The questions hum under my skin, loud enough that I almost forget he’s still looking at me, waiting for an answer.
“Water is fine.”
He goes to the fridge dispenser and fills a glass with ice and water and then sets it down in front of me. My eyes scan the spread before bouncing back to his that are crinkling with amusement.
“I’m not sure where to start.”
He smiles. “How about I give you a little sample of everything.” And then without asking, he proceeds to fill my plate with bite sized portions of everything that he’s made.
I watch him as he works, the flex of his muscles, the bulge of the veins in his strong arms, the way he whistles so happily as he works, and I wonder if he’s ever done this for another woman. He looks so happy in his space, I wonder what he sees when he looks at me. And that’s when I realize I’m smiling at him. Just being around him makes me happier.
When he places the full plate in front of me with a big grin, I swear my heart squeezes deep within my chest because it’s just like looking at eighteen-year-old Rhett again. He leans across the island and dusts his fingertips gently across my cheek.
“I love when you smile like this.”
My cheeks flush from the contact and his words but he quickly pushes off the island and moves to the countertop behind him, leaning against it slightly as if he wants to give us some space to talk.
I wish he wouldn’t.
“So, tell me, what have you been up to since you left town?” His hands fold across his chest, only causing the fabric on his chest to bunch up even more, making those veins in his muscles bulge deliciously.
I wet my lips as I drop my gaze back to my meal and pick up the fork, determined to not get distracted. I scoop a forkful of meatloaf into my mouth before I start. Damn, this is delicious.
“I went to school in Richmond, got my degree in nursing, and then got hired with the local hospital that I worked at during school. One year in they had a need for nurses to train in the intensive care unit, so I jumped at the opportunity.” I take another bite of the warm and fluffy loaf. “It’s given me some specialized skills that have made taking traveling nursing assignments more lucrative. I started those about six months ago.”
“What made you decide to make the change to traveling nursing?” he asks before he steps forward and swipes a pancake from the massive stack in front of us and plops it onto an empty plate for himself.
"I had... a bit of an unexpected life change," I sigh, figuring I might as well be transparent with him now. “A few years into my career at the hospital, I met a guy, and we started dating. We dated for five years and then ended up getting engaged.”
Rhett stops chewing and his brows raise slightly. “Youwereengaged, so you aren’t anymore? What happened there?”
“Well, that’s a funny story. We’d been engaged for just three months when he sprung on me that he wanted us to take a break from our engagement... aka he wanted to end our engagement so that he could see other people.”
Rhett’s eyes widen as he takes another bite of his pancake, putting the whole story together. “Shit and he called it abreakfrom your engagement?” He shakes his head. “What an idiot. Why did he say he wanted to end things?”
“We met when we were just twenty-two years old both working at the hospital. Christopher was still in school to become a nursepractitioner and doing a rotation there. He’d said that he didn’t feel like he’d truly had a chance to experience life as a single guy and that we jumped into the 'deep end' of seriousness too quickly. He wanted to be sure we were both the 'one' for each other, so that’s why he suggested we end things, see other people and then I guess, reevaluate at some point in the future if we want to get back together?” I shake my head because the whole thing sounds so stupid now that I’ve had time and distance away from him and Virginia.
“I'm honestly not sure what he expects or if he’s still considering that. We haven’t kept in contact since he ended things and that’s for the best. The break-up really blindsided me.”
Rhett sets down his fork and leans his elbow against the island in front of us. “Jael, that’s code for he wants to have his cake and eat it too. No guy serious enough about a girl to propose tells her he wants a break unless he wants to go fuck other girls or has already met someone else. Sounds like he didn’t get a chance for enough hook-ups before settling down with you and wants to get it out of his system. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes crawling back in a few months or years and wants you back.”
If he’d told me that a few months ago, I might have winced, but I know Rhett’s right and just looking out of me the way that he always has.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about how things ended between Christopher and I and I know he’d never been good to me. At least, not in the way that I deserved. That coupled with the fact that I was probably settling for him too made the break-up easier to stomach after a few months.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re right, but for a long time I told myself he just needed space to figure things out. I’ve since realized he didn’t need to figure out anything.”
His eyes darken as he leans forward again. “If you were mine, I’d never need space to figure things out. And I wouldn’t share you.”
I pause mid-bite, my appetite vanishing as a familiar, fiery heat creeps across my chest, tightening around my nipples before settling low in my belly. Rhett’s gaze is heavy and unrelenting, his expression so serious it’s almost frightening. There’s something raw about the way he’s looking at me—passionate and purposeful, as if he’s willing me to understand what he’s trying to say with those simple yet poignant words.
But what he’s forgetting is that when he broke up with me, he was the one who needed space to “figure things out.” He didn’t trust me then—didn’t believe me. And I know we were young, but the fact that he chose to believe Owen’s words over mine used to gut me. Even now it still stings. Yet something in the way Rhett looks at me tells me he regrets that decision every bit as much as I regret ghosting his texts and letting his calls go unanswered for years when I could have used his friendship.
