Page 52 of Barbed Wire Fences
Rhett lifts his head slowly, his eyes meeting mine. He takes a long sip from his cup before setting it down gently on the counter.
“I couldn’t wait an hour,” he says, his gaze never breaking from mine.
“Yeah, I was excited to see you too, but I need to rinse off first, so I don’t smell like a hospital,” I reply, leaning across the counter, moving to give him a kiss. But as I close the distance, he pulls back, turning his head slightly to avoid my touch.
I freeze, mid-air, feeling the awkwardness of the moment settle between us like a thick cloud. Things have never been uncomfortable between Rhett and I. Sure, we butted heads for years when we were younger, but even during that time, we’ve never been uncomfortable around each other. We’ve alwaysbeen able to speak our minds, tell the other person exactly how we’re feeling, even if it isn’t good.
“Hey...” I start nervously, “is something wrong?” There’s something dark and wounded behind his eyes that I’ve never seen before and it has me feeling uneasy.
He blows out his breath and shakes his head before finishing whatever was in his cup. “Just tell me please. Why did you lie to me?”
My heart sinks. “Lie to you? What are you talking about?”
“You know, Jael.”
“No, I don’t.” I fold my arms over my chest as I stare back at him.
“You acted like you didn’t know what you were doing. Told me you’d broken up with Owen and it was your first time. Why didn’t you tell me that it was Owen who took your virginity, and you didn’t need me to show you shit? Was this some sort of game to you? Did you want to compare your first time with him to me to see if he really is as bad at sex as I assume he is?”
Ah, fuck.
“Wait. Give me a chance to explain,” I say, reaching out to grab his hand from across the island, but he pulls his arms back, crossing them across his chest as his angry eyes glare back at me.
“You have sixty seconds, and then I’m leaving.”
No, this wasn’t how this was supposed to happen. When I slept with Owen after Rhett, Rhett and I weren’t dating. I wanted to tell Rhett, but things have been so good between us, and I was afraid he’d be upset that I did it.
“I know you’re mad, and I deserve that, but Rhett, you were my first time. I didn’t lie about that. When I came to you to ask for help, I didn’t think... I don’t know... I didn’t think we were going to end up actually going all the way. I lied about breaking up with Owen to convince you to help me because I knew you wouldn’t otherwise. Once things started going between us, I realized I wanted it to be you instead. After we had sex, I was so confused, but I thought that was all you wanted from me. You’d been clear that you didn’t want to have sex with me in the first place because you were worried that I’d catch feelings, and well,” I shake my head, feeling embarrassed, “You were right. I caught feelings.”
Looking back on it now, it’s all so ridiculous but I’d been insecure about how Rhett actually felt about me and never thought he’d reciprocate my feelings.
"The real story is that graduation night, I had sex with Owen, and I instantly regretted it. I decided after that night to break up with him, and I did. The next week is when you came to me and told me how you felt. I had no clue that you would want to spend the summer with me.” I reach for his hand again, trying to get him to believe me. “Rhett please trust me. I don’t know what else Owen told you, but that’s the truth and I haven’t seen him since. He took the break-up poorly and ripped my bed sheet in half in some sort of weird fit of rage. Believe me when I tell you, these past few weeks together have been the best weeks of my life, Rhett. You were always my friend first but I... I…” the words get caught in my throat. I’ve never told someone I loved them before but I’m pretty sure how I feel about Rhett is the closest thing I’ve ever known of love.
He watches me carefully then slaps his palms on the countertop firmly causing me to jump. Rhett’s never been harsh with me but the anger that’s in his hazel eyes now tells me thatsomething’s changed between us and we’ll never be able to go back to the way that things were before.
“Tell me the truth, Jael. Were you embarrassed that it was me who you lost your virginity to, and not Owen, your boyfriend? So, you never failed to correct that major detail with him while he’s out blabbing all over town how tight you were.”
“He’s… what?” I shake my head because it doesn’t even matter anymore what Owen says. “That’s not true at all, and that’s not fair of you to say. I can’t control what he says, and if he assumed that, it’s on him.”
“No, what’s not fair is you used me to be better in bed with your boyfriend,” he points a finger at me angrily before standing up. “And what’s true is you let him believe he was your first time.” He throws the contents of his cup into the sink and then tosses the empty cup into my parents’ garbage can.
“Why does it matter what he thinks?” I cry. “Why does it matter what anyone thinks?”
“Because you’re embarrassed of me! You’re embarrassed that you had sex with me first and I don’t have some rich dad and a plan to get a business degree like Owen does!” He spreads his arms wide, his hazel eyes looking wounded.
“Why would you say that? We grew up in the same community together! Why would I ever be embarrassed of you?”
He runs his fingers through his hair and tips his face up to the ceiling before turning to me. He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something then shakes his head.
“Whatever this was that you thought was between us, it’s officially over now. Enjoy your new life in Virginia.”
???
“Thanks for calling,” I finally respond to Lainey. “I’ll check in on you and the kids when I get to the hospital for my shift.”
I hang up, shoving the phone back into my pocket as I push to my feet. Molly and Regan are both staring at me with wide eyes.
“Everything okay?”
