Page 93 of Your Coffin or Mine
Okay, she kind of does have a point. He has had plenty of time to bite me and has only bitten me once. He also told me after that we would talk about it later, and he would answer all the questions I had. I just didn’t realize how many questions I’d have within the next hour.
“When I said he could bite me, I didn’t mean this. I just thought he meant like a love bite or something, you know? Men are weird sometimes.”
“Can confirm, but I like. And, if he is a vampire—can’t believe I’m saying this but it totally tracks—I mean, it’s not like he can help it right? What if you’re literally his only food source?” she says.
The thought of him biting someone else sends rage crashing over me. “Hell, I better be theonlyfood source.” My eyes widen. “Oh my god, what if he’s been biting the other guests?”
Burnie bursts out laughing.
“What?” I will kill him.
The question makes her laugh harder, the bitch.
I get to my feet and pace, unable to keep still. “I swear to god, Bernadette, I will murder him.” He ismine.
She snort-laughs through the phone. “You’re gonna what now? Murder a vampire? Do you even hear yourself right now?” Her cackles grow louder. “Should I ship you a wooden stake?”
She has a point. “He said he wants to talk.”
“So talk to him then! What are you going to do though, huh? You’re for real staying another week?” I swear, it sounds like she doesn’t believe me and is just humoring me. Well, in her defense, I probably sound crazy, but I appreciate she isn’t calling a mental institute.
I throw my hands up in a fit of frustration. “I don’t know what to do.”
She breathes heavily and her computer chair squeaks as she moves in it. “Okay, here’s the thing. I know what I would do, and it wouldn’t be packing my bags to come home.”
“You’re taking this really well, you know.”
She doesn’t respond for a few seconds.
“Burnie?” Her keyboard clacks like mad and I wince. “What are you doing?”
“Making sure you have a way out of Romania if anything happens. Maybe we can go ahead and get a flight booked just in case.”
My stomach leaps a bit, and I wish I could hug her.Smart.“I love you.”
“Love you too, bitch. I swear, if you find another vampire, let me know. Oh my god, do you think the butler is? The photo you sent me of him screamed ‘I’m an animal in bed.’ I volunteer as tribute so hard.”
I roll my eyes. “Uh huh. I’m not even sure that’s what he is yet. I just know Vlad bit me and said I’m safe.”
“Right, but how cute is that? And, seriously, I have high standards. No werewolves or monsters need apply. Vampires are definitely the alpha species.”
“I’ll be sure to never tell Vlad you said that.”
“Oh my god, does that mean I actually get to meet him?” She squeals, and I have to pull the crackling speaker away from my ear.
A knock sounds on the door a moment before it opens. “Hello, hello darling!” I see his white head of hair before his familiar grin.
Shit. Can’t I just get a moment to freak out?
“Hi, George,” I say, trying my hardest to smile.
“Does he know about Vlad?” Burnie whispers.
I glance at him as he shuts the door and moves deeper into my bedroom.
“I don’t know,” I answer truthfully.
“Why the hell are you whispering?” she asks.
