Page 23 of Your Coffin or Mine

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Burnie:

Hot? Haha! If you don’t ride that man like his dick owes you money then I don’t know you. I will try to track down the luggage.

Me:

Omg.

Burnie:

He is seriously hot.

Me:

He kissed me... after telling me to put my nipples away. Who tf does that?

Burnie:

LOL. Men lose 50% of their thinking abilities when they see nipples. Look it up.

Me:

Dude he’s sending serious mixed signals.

Burnie:

I’ve never met a man who doesn’t love nipples. Methinks he doth protest too much. Maybe he’s one of those grump types.

Me:

He’s a dick.

Burnie:

All men are.

Burnie:

Here’s what you do. Shave your vagigi to look like a landing strip and we’re gonna need a cute sign saying feed cock here. He can read right?

Me:

Lmao

Burnie:

Seriously, get you some good vacay peen and you’ll feel better.

Me:

Idk

Vlad’s face flashes before my eyes, and my body lights up with tingles. Ugh.

Burnie:

You’re on vacation in Romania after catching your asshole ex in bed with not one but two ppl. If anyone deserves orgasms it’s you. Who cares if the man is an asshole? Hate sex is good sex. Especially if he kisses half as good as he looks.

Me:

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