Page 16 of Your Coffin or Mine
Vlad snaps his fingers, capturing the attention of the blonde, and motions for her to open the door with a scowl on his face.
“Hey, you can’t just snap your fingers at people,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. “What is wrong with you?”
“It is their responsibility to take care of the customer. You, my dear, are the customer.” He turns toward the blonde, whose eyes dart around like she wishes to be anywhere else, and I really can’t blame her.
“Could you please try to not be a dick for a few hours? I know it must be very hard for you, but, dude, it’s just a dressing room. Calm down,” I hiss at him.
He opens his mouth, and I put my finger to his lips, shushing him. None of the ladies have been rude. Handsy and clingy, maybe, but not rude, and look at him. I wanted to get handsy with him, too—until he opened his mouth.Liar liar, pants on fire.
I beam a smile at the woman, ignoring him. “Hi, I’d like to try this on.”
“Of course,” she answers, casting me a relieved and appreciative smile. “So sorry about that. We haven’t been open long.”
My smile grows, and I step inside the small fitting room, not missing the glare on Vlad’s face. After I lock the door, my smile drops as I look down at the dress and wince.Wow, it’s tiny.
As soon as my clothes are off, I realize this thing is never going to fit. The fabric is slinky, and the V-cut looks like it’ll hit my navel.
“Are you alright?” he asks. “How long does it take to don clothing?”
“Umm. I think I need a bigger size...”
“It’s form fitting. Just try it on and we can go from there,” a woman’s voice calls out.
After what feels like five minutes of me squeezing my body inside theform-fittingdress, I look in the mirror and groanloudly. “I look like Elvira.” My breasts are spilling out of the thing, and the long slit up my thigh is super revealing.
“Who?” Vlad says in a confused voice, and my eyes roll.
Okay, that’s fair. Not everyone knows who Elvira is. I’ve only been watching her with Bernadette and my Grandma for forever, since it’s Gram’s favorite show. But the way my boobs are falling out of this thing is wild, even though I look super hot in it.
“Yeah, this isn’t going to work. Do you guys sell pants?”
One of the women calls out, saying she will get a pair, while Vlad starts spouting off in a weird language—Romanian, I’m assuming.
“English, Vlad,” I remind him through the door.
“Come out here.”
This guy cannot be serious. “Uh, definitely not.”
He bashes once on the door, giving me such a fright that I squeal.
“Aubrey,” he says, sending skitters down my spine. It should be a crime for my name to sound so sinful in his deep, accented voice. “Come out here this instant or I will come in there.”
Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ. If he tries to bitch about boobs in his face again, I will rip him a new one. “Fine.”
Unlocking the door slowly, I step out, my skin tingling. I meet Vlad’s eyes and plant my hands on my hips, posing. His eyes darken and his hands ball into fists.
“Whatcha think? Oh wait.” I grab my phone and push it into his chest. “Take a picture.”
He looks down at the phone, dumbfounded. “No.”
I read the blonde’s name tag and hand her the phone. “Clarissa, will you take a pic for me please?”
She nods and I smile in return.
“I think you need several sizes bigger,” a mean voice says in derision.
My smile falls as the words register; the brunette’s tone is catty and condescending. The camera flashes and Clarissa hands the phone back to me, glaring at the brunette who shrugs and walks away. “So sorry about that. She’s new.”
