Maxim smiled. “Plenty more where that one came from.”
She did not respond, her eyes lowered to watch her finger move.
He continued, “You must have secrets too, Annika, even if they are only little, womanly ones.”
“Every woman is entitled to her own secrets,” she said quietly.
Maxim nodded. “Of course, but you must remember that in the bedchamber, that is the perfect time to share secrets. Why, it is only the two of us, and neither of us will ever mention this to another. Consider it a Christmas gift to me. Tell me…”
His voice trailed away. He had glanced down, and Annika’s eyelashes had fluttered shut. Her breathing was steady, and he watched her slip into slumberland in his arms.
CHAPTER 8
Anne rubbed her eyes.She knew there would be consequences to her night of passion with Maxim, but she had not expected it to be tired eyes and a slight headache.
“I do not need,” she said quietly, and as calmly as she could manage, “a carriage with four horses.”
“Of course you do,” Sir Thomas said absentmindedly. “Now, the next thing we need to agree is – ”
“No, we have not finished discussing the carriage,” Anne interrupted with a sigh. She leaned back in her chair, and tried not to think too longingly of her own bed. “Father, four horses are such an extravagance, one we do not need. Why spend money when we do not even know whether this marriage is taking place!”
Her words fell on entirely deaf ears.
“Nonsense, no carriage? No horses?” Her father looked down at the copious piles of papers in his lap. “Now, somewhere I have the details of a farrier who – ”
“Father, I do not want four horses and a carriage! I am hardly a duchess, I am just a gentlewoman from a small town in the country,” Anne said fiercely. “And I am happy to beso! I do not wish to exhibit pretentions that others will think ridiculous!”
“You are the daughter of a baronet,” Sir Thomas said, a little more focus in his eye as he found the piece of paper he was looking for. “You will not dishonour me in this, Anne.”
“Dishonour you?” Anne stared at her father in disbelief. “Who is this wedding for, you or me?”
Her words startled him, but not in the way she had expected. “Then…then you are going to go through with the marriage?”
She hesitated. They were sitting alone in a corner of the Court, Meredith out playing with a kitchen girl who had not been needed that day. A smattering of snow fell past the window, and the fire blazed in the grate, as courtiers and visitors meandered and mingled.
She had spoken instinctively, without consideration, but now she stopped and examined her feelings…
This wedding, this marriage to Maxim…when had it ceased to be a sham in her eyes? In her heart? Was it the gifts, the way he smiled, the way he actually listened to what she said?
Or, and she blushed at the very thought, was it when she had been naked in his arms and known pleasure beyond anything she could have imagined?
It had only been a few hours ago. She had crept away before the sun had risen, and found her own bed cold and empty. Longing for him was not only sensual as she tried to get a few hours of sleep before the Court awoke. She had wanted him for the comfort of his arms around her.
They were but two days away from their marriage: the day before Christmas Eve. The idea that she would not go through with the wedding, it was ludicrous – not after what they had shared in his bed.
“I have wanted to do this from the moment I first met you.”
Maxim. He had made her feel safe, wanted, desired, free to ask for what she wanted. Could she have imagined a gentleman like him?
In the rare moments she had ever considered marriage, before this wild week at St. James’ Court, she had not imagined such joys, such easiness between her and her intended.
Her eyes moved around the room and as though unable to stay away, fell on Maxim. He was stood stiffly, resolutely, in his most formal wear, a few feet from Prinny who was discussing a gambling bet with a friend. The patience on Maxim’s face was stoic, but as their eyes met, he smiled.
Something fiery twisted in her stomach as she returned the smile. She could not help it. He was exactly what she had not dared to hope for in a gentleman, and he was all hers.
And it was not like anyone else would want to marry her…
The thought had passed through her mind before she could stop it. Why did she forbid herself the potential happiness that was before her? She could not think of herself like that. she was worthy of love, and while this engagement was a strange one, something she could never have predicted or sought, that did not mean she did not deserve it.