Page 79 of Happily Never After
‘And this must be your housemate, Liv,’ he continues as she appears behind me. ‘I’m Finn. Lovely to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.’
‘Nice to meet you too,’ Liv replies warmly. I’m not looking at her, but I can sense her sizing him up. ‘I hope Laura said only good things about me.’
Finn smiles, but again it’s not the easy smile I’m used to seeing. ‘She did.’
‘Good,’ Liv tells him firmly. ‘She’d be looking for a new home for her and her mangy dog otherwise.’
Normally, I’d be straight in with some riposte, but I just feel self-conscious, so an awkward silence falls.
‘I guess we’d better, umm…’ Finn offers.
‘Yes,’ I agree hastily. ‘See you later, Liv.’
‘I won’t wait up!’ she calls after us. Finn doesn’t quite flinch at the implication, but I can tell it hasn’t helped. We haven’t even made it to the end of the road and this is already firmly in disaster date territory.
‘So, how have you been?’ Finn asks as we make our way along the sea front towards The Mermaid. This is one of my favourite parts of Margate. A lot of people are sniffy about it and, to be fair, the area round the beach is a little run down, but I always like to imagine what it must have been like in its heyday, whenthe trains down from London would have been packed with people excited by the prospect of a holiday by the sea. So, for a moment, I don’t register that he’s spoken.
‘Sorry, what did you say?’
‘I was asking how you’d been.’ He stops and faces me. ‘Are you all right? You seem a little distracted.’
‘Sorry. I was just admiring the view.’
He looks around and, from the expression on his face, he’s not impressed by what he’s seeing. It feels like a rejection of my hometown and I’m a little irritated.
‘I’m fine. How are things with you?’ I ask, keen to get the conversation, such as it is, back on track.
‘Busy,’ he replies. ‘I’d forgotten how much work goes into taking a show from concept to reality. But it’s coming together really well and the production company have started recruiting contestants, so we should be ready to start filming soon.’
‘It must be so rewarding, seeing your ideas come to life in that way.’
‘No more rewarding than seeing your book in a bookshop, I’m sure. How’s that coming?’
‘Yes, good. I’m confident I’ll hit the deadline.’
‘I’m pleased for you.’
We lapse into silence again as we continue to walk. I don’t know what he’s thinking about, but my mind is in turmoil. The truth is that the book has hardly progressed at all since I’ve been home, and I’m in a complete panic about the deadline. In France, I’d have been honest and told him that, so why did I lie? Something’s definitely not right here, and I can feel my mood plummeting.
‘Tell me about this hotel,’ Finn says, finally breaking the silence. ‘One of my colleagues lived around here until recently and, when I mentioned to her that I was taking you out todinner, she told me I absolutely had to book a table at The Mermaid.’
‘It is good,’ I tell him, relieved to be on safe ground conversationally at least. ‘In fact, it’s my go-to for any kind of celebration. Angus and I came here a few times.’
No sooner are the words out of my mouth than I’m regretting them. His face falls.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he says. ‘I never thought that this might bring up painful memories for you. Look, let me ring them and say something’s come up. We can get something else.’
‘It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have said anything. Don’t worry, there won’t be any painful memories dragged up. I’m over him, and the food really is superb. I’d challenge even Cara to match the standard of cooking.’
‘Would you go back to L’Ancien Presbytère, do you think?’
I consider the question for a moment. ‘Yes, probably. Preferably with a friendlier crowd though. What about you?’
‘Yes. I did enjoy it, even with the Double-Doubles giving me the evil eye all the time.’
Although I’m pleased that talking about our time in France seems to have loosened us up, there’s still an elephant in the room, namely Angus. Do I tell him that Angus came out after he left? I want to be honest, but I don’t know how Finn would react and I don’t want to cause any more awkwardness than there is already. Thankfully, I’m able to shelve my dilemma, for the time being at least, when we arrive at The Mermaid. Despite the nerves about seeing Finn, and the uncomfortable walk here, I’m starving and I desperately hope my stomach isn’t going to start rumbling as I peruse the menu.
‘You’re right, this is good,’ Finn observes as we take the first mouthfuls of our starters. Frankly, I’m grateful for the distraction of the food. Although the conversation does seem to have eased a little, it’s still not flowing naturally, and I’m nocloser to deciding whether to tell Finn about Angus. I don’t know why I’m finding it so hard; all I need to do is reassure him that I had no trouble rebuffing him. I just feel weirdly guilty about it, for some reason, as if Angus and I were sneaking around behind his back.
