Page 69 of Happily Never After
I sigh. ‘Angus, that is a lovely analogy, I’ll grant you, if a little bit woo-woo. But this pot is more than broken, that’s what I’m trying to get across to you.’
‘OK, tell it your way,’ he suggests.
I think for a moment.
‘Humpty-Dumpty is probably better.’
‘What?’
‘All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put this shit together again.’
He looks at me incredulously. ‘That’s all you’ve got? I give you a beautiful analogy, even if I do say so myself, involving intricate Japanese craftsmanship, and you come back with a sodding nursery rhyme?’
‘It does the job, doesn’t it?’
Now it’s his turn to sigh. ‘You’re not prepared to give me any kind of second chance, are you?’
‘No. There’s another saying that applies here, actually.’
‘Do I want to hear it? Is it another nursery rhyme?’
‘Nope. It’s a metaphor. The horse is dead, Angus. Stop flogging it.’
We’re almost at the turning to L’Ancien Presbytère before he speaks again.
‘What about this other guy. Finn, is it?’
‘What about him?’
‘Are you together? I know you said it’s none of my business, but it would help me to understand why you’re so sure we don’t have a future.’
‘We aren’t. Like I told you, we’re friends.’
He stops and turns to me, making me stop as well. He looks at me for so long that I start to feel uncomfortable.
‘You’d like it to be more,’ he states eventually.
‘I don’t know. Maybe, maybe not. I mean it though. Whatever happens, it’s got nothing to do with you.’
He starts walking again, albeit slowly.
‘Here’s what I don’t understand,’ he says as the house comes into view. ‘I’m a known quantity. You know we work well together as a couple. You were happy, weren’t you? I’m offering you all of that back. You, me and Meg. We can find another flat and have our old lives again, only better. I don’t know this Finn, but neither do you, really. You’re putting someone you’ve spent a few days with above ten years of solid relationship? Risky, don’t you think?’
‘You’re coming at it from the wrong angle. Yes, we had ten years and yes, they were broadly happy, at least I thought they were. But that’s not what this is about. I may have known you, loved you, for a long time, but you shat the mat in spectacular style. There isn’t a Kintsogo?—’
‘Kintsugi,’ he interrupts.
‘Whatever. The pieces are too small to be glued together. The pot isn’t worth the effort. Actually, that reminds me. Can I ask you a question?’
‘Of course.’
‘Did you resent me earning more than you?’
‘Of course not! I was delighted that you were doing so well and achieving your dreams.’
Unfortunately, this is where me knowing him so well lets him down. He may be saying the right thing, but I saw somethingquite different flash across his eyes. Liv was right, and my resolve strengthens further.
‘Look,’ I begin. ‘Let’s say I believed everything you’ve said – I know you do – and we got back together. I’d just be waiting for the inevitable moment when it all got too much for you again and you disappeared. Yes, Finn might be an unknown in comparison, but at least he doesn’t come with a history of heartbreak and disappointment.’
