Page 11 of Happily Never After
‘You can always come to me if you need a loan to tide you over. I know how difficult it is for people in your situation to get credit through the normal channels, and I’d hate for you to fall victim to loan sharks or those ghastly payday lenders now that you’re fending for yourself.’
‘What do you mean, “my situation”?’ I ask. This is a new angle from him and, despite knowing his answer is probably going to annoy me, I want to hear it nonetheless.
‘You know what I mean, Laura,’ he tells me, lowering his voice the way he always does when he thinks he’s trying to be tactful. ‘People without aregular income.’
I sigh. ‘I’m not on the breadline, Dad.’
‘That’s good. Very good.’ He knows he’s annoyed me and is now trying to compensate. ‘But your income is far from certain, and I just don’t want you making bad choices if you find yourself in need of a helping hand. Anyway, I’ll give you back to your mother. Remember what I’ve said, won’t you?’
By the time I end the call, having agreed that I’ll go over there for lunch on Sunday and I’ll also consult with Liv to see if she’d like to come, I’m exhausted.
‘You look like you’ve been through the wringer,’ Liv remarks, looking up from her laptop as I settle myself on the sofa.
‘I do love them, but you’d think I was a penniless waster, the way they go on. Anyway, they’ve invited us both to lunch on Sunday if you’d like to come.’
‘Do you want me to come?’
‘It might be nice to have someone there who’s on my side.’
‘You’re a big girl; you can fight your own battles. Why don’t you just tell them you’re actually as rich as Croesus?’
‘Because they think talking about how much you earn is grubby, and the sort of thing that only thenouveau richewould do.’
She thinks for a moment. ‘To be fair, I don’t have a clue how much money my parents have, but that’s because I’ve never really been interested. I’m sure they’d tell me if I asked.’
‘Yes, but your parents are very different from mine.’
She laughs. ‘That’s probably true. I don’t think my parents really have any taboo subjects. I remember Mum being absolutely fascinated the first time I started dating a girl. Even though she’d been to an all-girls boarding school, which I know from personal experience are hotbeds of lesbianism, all of that had somehow passed her by. I think she felt she’d missed out and wanted to live it vicariously through me.’
‘Weren’t you creeped out? I can’t imagine ever having a discussion with my mother about something like that. Just the thought of it makes me shudder.’
‘That’s because you’re repressed, and your parents probably are too.’
‘No, it’s because your family have absolutely none of the boundaries that most of society would consider normal, trust me.’
‘Then most of society is missing out. Tell me, how did your parents manage “the talk”?’
‘They didn’t,’ I admit. ‘They simply asked whether the school had covered intimate relationships in PHSE. I said yes, and that was the end of it.’
‘See, that’s tragic,’ Liv counters. ‘The stuff they tell you at school might help you not to get pregnant, but it doesn’t teach you about pleasure. I remember my mum urging me to explore my body, to find out the ways in which it could give me pleasure,both for myself and so I could instruct future lovers on what ticks my boxes. I think she’d have drawn diagrams if I’d let her.’
‘Again, not normal. Again, giving me the ick.’
‘You might have a point,’ she agrees after thinking for a moment. ‘Although I think her intentions were good, and I’d certainly want my children to feel free to express their sexuality in the way that they wanted, having your mother practically begging you to masturbate as often as possible is probably unusual.’
‘It’s very unusual, Liv.’
‘I’d still rather that than what you got. Maybe there’s a middle way. A friend to guide you on your sexual journey rather than a parent, perhaps.’ Her tone is thoughtful, which makes me slightly uneasy.
‘Or you could just do what most people do, and figure it out as you go along. Anyway, we’ve drifted off topic. Are you coming on Sunday?’
‘Absolutely.’ She grins as she turns her attention back to her laptop and my feeling of unease increases. Liv and my parents are a delicate mix at the best of times, and things could go south quite quickly if she decides to make trouble. Maybe this isn’t such a great idea after all.
5
‘Are you OK?’ Pauline asked as they were clearing up after the lunchtime rush in the Pig & Whistle.
‘Yeah, why?’ Claire replied.
