Page 89 of Happily Never After
He does at least have the grace look a little bashful. ‘Not exactly. I just needed to be certain that you were coming back home.’
‘Why? You’re not making any sense at all, you know that? So far, we’ve got a bogus thing that you’re called away to deal with, and some A-grade stalking so you can implement some mystery plan. I’m not reassured, Finn.’
He looks at me quizzically. ‘It’s a surprise, don’t you see?’
‘No.’
‘My evening engagement is you, if you’re free.’
I stare at him, totally nonplussed now. ‘So you effectively blew me out earlier, only to hotfoot it down here to surprise me? We could have just gone for a drink in London.’
‘We could, but there’s something I need to do, and that can only happen here.’
I narrow my eyes. ‘Was that you on the Tube? Why the change of clothes?’
‘This is a more suitable outfit for the surprise. It gave me a hell of a shock when your face appeared at the window. I think the woman next to me thought I was mad, because I was trying to hide behind her. I don’t think I’m cut out for surveillance work.’
‘This all seems very elaborate and I’m still not completely comfortable that you followed me. What’s supposed to happen now?’
‘Wait and see. We need to grab a taxi from the rank.’ He must sense my hesitation, because he smiles. ‘Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten.’
He’s making less and less sense. Either that or I genuinely am going mad and this is all some sort of terrible dream.
‘Haven’t forgotten what?’
‘That you’re a martial arts expert.’
I surreptitiously pinch my thigh as hard as I can to try to wake myself up. This must be a dream and it’s just too bizarre for me. Unfortunately, nothing changes apart from the fact that I now have pain in my thigh.
‘Who told you that I was a martial arts expert?’ I ask, bewildered.
‘You did, on the day I arrived at the retreat. As you climbed into my car, you told me quite clearly that you were a martial arts expert so it would end badly for me if I tried anything on.’
A vague memory bubbles up to the surface and I start to laugh. Finally, something in this frankly unbelievable scene is making sense.
‘What’s so funny?’ Finn asks.
‘I lied,’ I tell him.
Now it’s his turn to look confused. ‘Why?’
‘In case you were a murderer.’
‘Did I look like a murderer?’
‘They come in all shapes and sizes. How was I supposed to know?’
‘So you’re not a martial arts expert.’
‘I’ve watchedThe Karate Kid. Does that count?’
‘The original, or the remake?’
‘Both.’
‘I’m not sure it does. Anyway, I promise not to murder you in the taxi if that helps you feel safe about getting in one with me.’
I look at him. He’s Finn at full wattage right now, and I feel a bit like one of those moths that just can’t help being attracted to the light. He may not be Henry Cavill, but his personality is like one of those cartoon magnets, causing objects miles away to break free and fly towards them.
