Page 8 of Happily Never After
‘Someone else obviously wants to see you too.’ Ruby laughs as Jono pulls a bottle with a teat out of the fridge and puts it into the microwave to warm before turning his attention to my coffee. ‘Hang on, I’ll just go and get him.’
She disappears into the back room, emerging a few moments later with a bleary-eyed baby sucking on a bright red dummy.
‘Look who’s here, Tom,’ she coos as the baby fixes his gaze on me. ‘It’s Auntie Laura, come to sign her latest batch of books.’ She turns to me. ‘Do you want a cuddle before he gets too wriggly?’
‘Of course,’ I tell her with a smile, taking Tom off her and planting a kiss on his head. He has that characteristic baby smell – slightly milky with an undercurrent of baby wipe. I notice that Samson has stopped grooming himself and is watching intently from his chair as Jono brings the bottle of milk over, swirling it to ensure the contents are evenly warm.
‘Fleabag over there is fascinated by Tom,’ he informs me as Tom starts trying to reach for the bottle.
‘He’s not a fleabag,’ Ruby tells him sternly before turning to me. ‘Would you like to feed him, as you’ve got him already?’
‘Sure.’
‘Take a seat then,’ Jono says. ‘If you’re lucky, he’ll hold it himself, although you need to keep an eye on him as he’s prone to dropping it, and then Fleabag will be on it like a shot.’
‘Listen to you,’ Ruby teases him, ignoring the repeated barb as Jono hands me a muslin cloth. ‘Surrogate dad of the year.’
Jono smiles. ‘It’s all good practice for when Robbie and I adopt.’
‘I didn’t know you were planning to adopt,’ I remark as I settle myself in a vacant chair and Jono places my coffee on the table next to it, making sure it’s well out of reach of grabbing baby hands. One of the many things I love about this shop is the way the different-sized tables and chairs are dotted about, allowing customers to be social if they wish, but also simply enjoy coffee and a book on their own if they want.
‘We’re going through the process, but it’s anightmare,’ he explains, rolling his eyes dramatically. ‘I mean, it’s no surprise there’s a shortage of adoptive parents when they make it so difficult. You’d be forgiven for thinking that our beautiful home has become some kind of meeting place for social workers, the number of them that traipse in and out.’ I drape the muslin around Tom’s neck. No sooner is the bottle within reach than he grabs it with both hands, beginning to suck greedily as soon as the teat is in his mouth. Ruby and Jono are swiftly distracted by other customers, so I relax and enjoy the warm solidity of Tom’s little body against mine as he drinks. When the bottle is finished, I sit him up to burp him, after which he promptly falls back to sleep in my arms.
‘You’re a natural,’ Ruby remarks as she comes to relieve me a little while later. ‘I reckon you’ll take to it like a duck to water when your time comes.’
I know she means it innocently, but her remark triggers an odd wave of longing inside me, reminding me of the jokeAngus made about Meg being a precursor to us having children ourselves. I can see the similarities; like a baby, she needed to be supervised constantly when she was awake, and we got precious little sleep as she howled the place down at night. I remember how we congratulated ourselves on our superb puppy parenting when we realised she hadn’t had an accident in the house for over a week. Angus was incredibly patient with her, consistently repeating the training exercises and rewarding her when she got them right. It’s not surprising that she adored him; he was the perfect hands-on dad, and I’ll admit that I used to entertain regular fantasies of him being just as involved with our children when the time came.
‘Sorry, that was crass of me,’ Ruby remarks, evidently clocking the expression on my face. ‘Still no word, I take it?’
‘To be honest, I’m not expecting to hear from him now,’ I tell her. ‘Time to move on. Liv has invited me to live with her and I’ve said yes.’
‘Really?’ She sounds dubious. Although they are perfectly civil to one another when they meet, I’m not sure Ruby and Liv are destined to be friends. In fact, Ruby’s husband, Cameron, once confessed to me in an unguarded moment that Ruby found Liv ‘a bit much sometimes’. It’s not an entirely unfair assessment; Liv can come across as pretty full-on if you’re not used to her.
‘I think it’ll be good for me,’ I tell her. ‘Everything in the flat reminds me of Angus, so this will be an opportunity to put him behind me once and for all. And, if anyone is going to help me purge his ghost, it’s Liv.’
Ruby laughs. ‘That’s certainly true. I don’t imagine she’ll put up with any moping, for a start. You’re right; she’ll probably be good for you. Now, I’ve got a pile of books in the stock room waiting for Larry’s signature when you’re ready.’
As I reluctantly hand back a still-sleeping Tom and pick up my coffee to follow her towards the back of the shop, I reflect on our conversation. I know I keep telling myself this, but it really is time to let Angus go, and Ruby is right. Liv may be a force of nature, but that makes her exactly the person I need to help me do it.
4
‘You’re totally, 100 per cent sure about this?’ Liv asks. Meg and I moved in with her yesterday and we’re sitting in her kitchen with an open bottle of wine between us while something delicious-smelling cooks in the oven.
‘I am,’ I tell her.
‘OK. Hand me your phone.’
‘What are you going to do?’
‘Erase Angus from it. I’m going to start by deleting his number and all the text messages between you. Then I’m going to wipe him off all your social media. Have you updated your relationship status?’
‘No.’
‘Right. I’ll do that too. We need the world to know that Laura Spalding is open for business.’
‘That doesn’t sound right, somehow.’
‘You know what I mean. The easiest way to forget the old horse is to jump on a new one, but we’ll look at that once I’ve de-Angused you. Phone, please.’
