Page 36 of Happily Never After
‘There are, but it’s related to the jeopardy element. As they go through the game, the price of the items they have to value increases. So, let’s assume the objects in round one all went for ten pounds or less. It might be a hundred, but the principle is the same. Their opening prize pot is therefore a tenner. Let’s say item one went for five pounds. If they guess correctly, they get the prize, but every pound they’re off comes out of the pot.’
‘I don’t follow.’
‘Let me give you an example. The item went for a fiver, but you guess seven pounds. That’s two pounds out. So you only win eight pounds instead of ten.’
‘I get it. Not exactly white knuckle though, is it?’
‘Not to begin with, no. But remember, we’re looking more at elimination in the early stages of the game. We’ll start ramping up the potential prize pot in the head-to-head and the final.’
‘It sounds like you’ve got the formula pretty much nailed. What’s the problem?’
‘Exactly that.’ He sighs. ‘At the moment, it’s purely formulaic. Apart from the auction room thing, it’s pretty much a carbon copy of every other daytime quiz show. I need an edge, and that’s what I’m missing.’
‘Perhaps you should ask the Double-Doubles to give you an inspiration spell,’ I quip.
‘I think not,’ he replies with a laugh. ‘They’d probably suggest introducing a sudden death round where the contestants actually die suddenly.’
‘That would certainly give you an edge,’ I tell him through my own laughter. ‘You might struggle to recruit contestants though.’
‘Do you know, the worst thing is that I’m not totally sure I would? You’d be amazed what risks people are prepared to take to get their five minutes of fame, particularly if they thinkthere’s gold at the end of the rainbow. However, there are one or two ethical issues with it, and I can’t see it getting past the safeguarding teams, somehow.’
‘I’m sure you’ll come up with something,’ I encourage him. ‘You just need more of that magical eyes-closed thinking time.’
‘I hope so. Actually, can I ask something while you’re here?’
‘Sure.’
‘Would you mind very much sitting next to me at lunchtime?’
‘Why?’
‘Because you’re the only person here, apart from Tess, who doesn’t seem to have some sort of hidden agenda. I feel comfortable around you, which isn’t something I can say about the others.’
‘Are you seriously proposing that I act as some sort of human shield between you and the Double-Doubles?’ I ask.
He does at least have the grace to look bashful. ‘That’s not quite how I would have put it, but yes, kind of.’
‘Don’t worry,’ I tell him. ‘I’ll protect you from the scary witches. Although I should warn you that Lynette thinks Gina will implode when she finds out you’re not a “proper” writer. Apparently, she takes this stuff very seriously.’
He looks completely nonplussed, and I realise he has no idea who I’m talking about.
‘The hippy told me that the head of the Double-Doubles will implode,’ I clarify.
His face clears. ‘Ah, right. Well, we don’t want that. Do you think I should come up with a cover story?’
‘Honestly? I’d leave her to it,’ I say, surprising myself with the firmness in my voice. ‘She may think she’s queen bee on this retreat, but I don’t see why the rest of us should pander to her.’
‘Wow. Don’t sit on the fence, will you?’
‘I mean it. I’m here to get inspiration and work. If the rest of them want to waste their time stabbing each other in the backand generally playing power politics, that’s up to them. I’ve got a book to finish.’
He grins. ‘It could be the plot of your next book. A body is found stabbed in the back on a writers’ retreat. Everyone has a reason for wanting Gina dead, but who killed her?’
‘It has potential,’ I agree.
I’m smiling as I make my way back to my little corner of the garden. Finn is easy to talk to, and if being his human shield keeps me out of the family rift that is Lynette and Gina, so much the better.
He might have a point about the book too.
