Page 93 of Mr. Edwards
Part Two
The resurrection of us…
Chapter 21
Carlee
Present day…
My stomach churns as I pull up outside Grayson’s house. It’s been over two and a half years since I’ve been here, but it seems like a lifetime. My heart aches at the thought. So many good times were had behind those doors, and endless precious memories made. I’ve tried to block most of them out, not because I don’t treasure each and every one of them, but because it’s too hard for me to relive.
Taking a deep breath to try and calm my nerves, I reach across the center console for the paper bag that sits on the passenger seat. Eight long weeks have passed since I walked out of the hospital the night of Grayson’s accident. Emma has been keeping me updated on his progress since. His injuries were substantial, but not life-threatening like I first thought. The damage was mostly confined to the left side of his body… the side that took the brunt of the impact.
His shoulder was dislocated, his collarbone and arm were broken, as well as a few ribs. He suffered a pretty nasty concussion, but the worst injury was to the lowerpart of his leg. He had to be cut from his vehicle, having multiple surgeries on his limb to correct the damage.
Grayson’s been home from the hospital for almost a week now, but I wanted to give him time to settle in before coming here.
I’m not sure this visit is wise after all this time, but there’s something he needs to know. Exiting the car, I tuck the bag under my arm before walking up the path toward his front door. My stomach is in knots. He was so angry at me the last time we spoke in Valentina’s bathroom during Emma and Ashton’s wedding. I have no idea how he’s going to feel about me being here.
Tentatively, I climb the front stairs, pausing to collect myself for a moment. I practiced what I was going to say on the long drive here, but it’s all scrambled now. I’m clueless as to what I should lead with.
Shaking out my fingers, I reach for the doorbell, pressing it once. I dip my head and stare at my shoes as I wait for him to answer. Minutes pass. I raise my hand for a second time, but before I ring the bell again, the front door opens.
I suck in a sharp breath the moment our eyes lock. The mere sight of him knocks all the air from my lungs. He’s so devastatingly handsome; it physically hurts to look at him.
It’s such a relief to see him in one piece.
He has a few days’ worth of stubble on his face, it’s rare to see him unshaven, but this rugged look suits him. It adds to his overall sexiness. My eyes track the length of his body in a slow appraisal. There’s a brace strapped to his left leg, and he looks a tad thinner than I remember but still gorgeous. It would be hard for this man to look anything less.
“Hi,” I say, giving him a tight smile, because I can tellby the stern look on his face he’s not at all happy to see me. It stings, but it’s nothing I don’t deserve after the way I’ve treated him.
I want to tell him how sorry I am for everything that’s happened. That I miss him so damn much… that I still love him, I never stopped, but that’s not who we are anymore. I hate how awkward things have become, but none of that is his fault, it’s all on me.
That look—the one he once only reserved for me—is no longer present. It was a smile that was so happy… so bright, it used to light up his entire face. All I’m getting now is a scowl.
“What do you want, Carlee?”
“I was wondering if you had a few minutes to talk.”
He draws back slightly at my words, like I’ve just slapped him. “You want to talk?” he scoffs. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“Grayson, please.”
“Un-fucking-believable.” He shakes his head in disgust. “There was a time I would’ve given anything to hear what you had to say, Carlee, any-fucking-thing, but that ship has sailed. Too little too late I’m afraid, sweetheart, I don’t give a fuck anymore.”
I blink a few times as the bite of his words settles in. This time I feel like I’m the one who’s been slapped.
Grayson exhales a long, drawn-out breath before taking a step back. My heart sinks, and my mouth drops open when he grasps the edge of the door before slamming it in my face.
Tears burn the back of my eyes as I stand there for a moment, wondering what to do next. This is not how I anticipated things going, but I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s been trying to get me to talk to him for the past few years, so I’m a fool for thinking anything different.
I need to accept that I’m no longer his sunshine and he isn’t mine… those days are gone. The only thing that can drive away darkness, is light… that’s what Grayson once did for me. He chased away my demons and filled me with his brightness. A brightness that he no longer seems to have. I’ve ruined him, and I truly hate myself for that.
There’s a part of me that wishes I’d never met him. It was easier to live with the emptiness when I didn’t know it was there. And if he hadn’t met me, he’d still be the happy and outgoing man he once was.
I’m not sure how long I stand on his doorstep, but eventually, I accept my fate, turning and rushing down the stairs toward Reece’s car. He let me borrow it for the day. I didn’t tell him where I was going, and thankfully he didn’t ask.
I never replaced my Red Rocket when I moved back to Temecula. There was no need. I wasn’t going anywhere.
