Page 127 of Mr. Edwards
You may ask what was so special about watching your mother get ready, that answer is simple; they were some of the few moments throughout our time together when she didn’t seem to mind that I existed.
What I’m trying to avoid, are the last images I have of Roxy. The ones that wake me in the middle of the night covered in a cold sweat. She was barely recognizable. She’d aged so much in the years we’d been apart. Time had not been kind to her, and that slays me. I left that frightened, lonely, and desperate little girl behind the day my mother kicked me out, but right now, in this moment, she’s clawing her way back to the surface.
Out of nowhere, the tears start to fall, and I’m powerless to stop them. It doesn’t take long before they morph into agonizing sobs. I’ve not cried this hard since the day at the trailer when I found her lifeless body.
The possibility our relationship may have never improved is a reality I need to face, but I’ll forever have regrets for not trying. Even after everything she did to me. There wasn’t much I could do when I was a child, as an adult though… maybe. It’s something I’ll never know now.
I startle when the driver’s side door suddenly opens. I lift my head from the steering wheel when someone reaches into the car and undoes the seat belt that’s still wrapped around me. I don’t even need to look up to see who it is, I can smell him.
Grayson.
“Sunshine,” he whispers as he lifts me out of the carand folds me tightly in his arms. “I know you wanted to do this alone. I tried so hard to respect your wishes, but in the end, I couldn’t do it.”
“I’m glad you’re here,” I mumble into his chest as my arms snake around his waist. “Thank you for coming.”
Just being here, in his arms, makes me feel stronger.
Leaning down, he places a soft kiss on my hair, and that gesture brings on a fresh round of tears. “Let it all out, sweetheart,” he whispers. “I’ve got you.”
Chapter 30
Grayson
Carlee manages to pull herself together by the time the funeral car arrives. I reach for her hand, threading our fingers together. I can feel her body trembling as we slowly walk in that direction, so I tighten my grip.
When Granny returned from her visit with Carlee and told me she wanted to do today on her own, I immediately called Reece. I may have only been a boy when I lost my dad, but I remember his funeral vividly. My mother was a mess and could barely walk, she was so overcome with grief.
A few hundred people attended. My father was a good man and loved by many. The support they brought with them that day meant so much to my family. There was no way I was going to let Carlee face today on her own.
The driver of the hearse exits the vehicle and rounds the car to where we’re standing. “Carlee,” the man says, extending his hand to her.
“Hey,” she replies.
He then moves to me. “Mark,” he says.
“Grayson.” I wrap my free hand with his.
“The pastor should be here any moment,” he says, turning his attention back to Carlee. “We’ll get started once he arrives.”
“Okay.”
“Have you chosen your pallbearers?” he asks.
“What?” Carlee gasps in horror as her large eyes move from Mark to me.
“The people you want to carry the coffin to the gravesite,” he says.
She obviously didn’t notify the funeral home that she intended to go this alone. Thankfully, I have it covered.
“I—” Before she gets to finish her answer, our attention is drawn to the black Range Rover that pulls to a stop behind us. The back door opens and Reece gets out, followed by my mother. Ashton exits the driver’s side and rounds the car to open Emma’s door. My eyes dart to Carlee and I let go of her hand, tucking her under my arm when I see a fresh wave of tears emerge.
She may not have wanted us here today, but we all love her, and there was no way we were going to let her face this on her own.
She needs us.
Carlee chose a white coffin with intricate gold accents, and it’s adorned with a mass of white roses and lilies. It was important to me that she be able to give her mother whatever kind of send-off she wanted, something Iknew she couldn’t afford without help, hence the fifteen grand I got Granny to deliver. I would’ve offered to fund it myself, but I know how Carlee gets when I pay for things.
That’s why I disguised it as the money she’d gotten from the sale of her old car, and the few payments she’d managed to make on her new one. In truth, it was only a small fraction of what I gave back, but it was the only way I could get her to take it. I made Granny promise. Under no circumstances, no matter how hard Carlee fought, she wasn’t to return with that envelope.
