Page 4 of Mr. Edwards
“You know what?” I say in a tone so calm it surprises me. I tuck myself back into my pants as I try to tame the fury that’s now raging inside. “Fuck this! And fuck you. I thought you were worthy of my love… I was wrong.” With that, I turn and storm from the room.
I don’t stop until I’m out the front door, across the drive, and seated in my car. I may be in the middle of my best friend’s wedding, but I can’t stay… not now.
The palm of my trembling hand rubs over my chest in an attempt to relieve the crushing ache that’s now settled there.
I start the engine, back out of my spot, and roar down the long driveway and out the front gates.
I can’t be here.
I can’t be nearher.
I’m so fucking done.
Chapter 1
Carlee
Have you ever looked at someone and just knew they were put in your life for a reason? That one person who would not only be your best friend, your lover, but your absolute everything? A recognition so powerful it almost knocks you flat on your ass.
No?
Well, I have.
The day Grayson Edwards got down on one knee and professed his undying love for me, asking me to spend the rest of my days by his side, was a moment I’ll never forget.“Carlee,”he’d said,“I feel like I’ve waited my entire life for you.”Those words resonated with me immediately… right down to the very depths of my soul. Because, I too, had waited my entire life for this man. When I was a little girl, I even prayed for him.
We were like two star-crossed lovers that fate had brought together for a reason… we were meant to be. Or so I thought.
I should’ve known from the onset it was too good to be true. Life’s a bitch—who am I kidding, she’s alowdown-dirty-whore. She’s fucked me over more times than I can count.
Good things don’t happen to people like me.
Never to people like me.
I’ve been cursed from the moment I took my first breath. I knew this!I fucking knew it.But that knowledge did nothing to deter me from moving forward, from finally opening up my bruised and battered heart and letting Grayson in. After all, I’d been searching for him my entire life, how could I just let him go?
He showed me an existence I’d once only dreamt about. I was the center of his world, and he quickly became mine. But I should’ve listened to that constant niggle in the back of my mind. The one warning me that no matter how tightly I hung on to him he’d eventually be ripped away, because that’s exactly what happened.
It only took six short months for me to free-fall back into the reality I’d grown up in… for everything I treasured with the man of my dreams to crumble into a big pile of hopelessness. It was my fate, my destiny, and there wasn’t anything anyone could do to change it.
Growing up, life for me was no fairy tale; I was born into a living nightmare. A place where just surviving to see another day was all I knew. I learned from a very young age that there’d be no happily ever after for a person like me.
Exhaling a deflated breath, I once again accept the shitty hand I’ve been dealt. I’m still standing here in the bathroom long after Grayson left, preparing myself to return to my best friend’s wedding reception.
I stare back at my reflection in the mirror, straightening my red dress. First glances can be deceptive, but if you looked close enough, you’d see the lifelessness in myeyes. The fire is gone, long snuffed out. I’m a shadow of the woman I once was.
I no longer want to be here, but this is Emma’s special day, something she’s been waiting a long time for. She’s my best friend. I’m not going to ruin it. I have the rest of my life to wallow over my loss, I just need to get through this night. Her friendship means the world to me, and I’d never knowingly do anything to upset her. She’s one of the only good things I have left, and after everything she and Ashton have been through to get to this point, they deserve every speck of happiness. I envy them both.
I swipe my fingers under my eyes to remove the last of my tears. I just have to keep it together for a few more hours and steer clear of Grayson.
With that thought in mind, I inhale a deep breath and plaster a huge-ass smile on my face. This is what I do best. I’m a queen at masking my true feelings; I’ve had years of practice to perfect it. I pull back my shoulders as my mother’s words swim around in my mind…“Suck it up, Princess. Shitty things happen to shitty people.”
From a very young age, I learned not to rely on others, because you’ll be left disappointed if you do. Even your shadow leaves you in times of darkness.
I managed to get through the rest of the reception on autopilot. Smiling on cue when necessary. Grayson never returned. It was probably for the best.
It’s usually an hour-and-forty-minute drive fromRancho Palos Verdes back to Temecula where I now live, but I managed to do it and an hour and fifteen. The traffic was sparse, but considering the lateness, I guess that’s a given. It’s just after two in the morning when I pull up outside the gymnasium. I live in the two-bedroom apartment that sits directly above it.
I don’t remember much of the journey home. And although my heart is sitting somewhere in the base of my stomach, in a million tiny fragments… shattered beyond repair, I couldn’t stop myself from reliving every second of my time with Grayson tonight.
