Page 4 of Nineteen Letters
I bow my head as memories of that dreadful day flood my mind. I want this so badly, but I’m scared. What if we have the same outcome as last time? I don’t know if I can go through that kind of heartache again.
“Can we talk more about it tonight over dinner? Andrew’s going to chew me out if I don’t get to the office soon.”
“He better not!”
I run my fingertip over Braxton’s forehead, trying to flatten out the crinkles of his frown. I love how protective he is. He hates the way my boss treats me, but he’d never interfere because he knows how much I love what I do.
The rain has eased by the time I’m ready to leave, but Braxton still insists on walking me out so I don’t get wet.
My fingers tangle in the hem of the T-shirt he just put on as we come to a stop beside my car. “Bye,” I say reluctantly.
“Don’t let Andrew keep you any later than needed.”
“I won’t,” I say, placing my lips against his. “Good luck with your meeting. They’re going to love the new design.”
“I hope so.” He opens the driver’s door and moves the umbrella closer to shield me from the rain. “Be careful on the roads, they’ll be slippery.”
“I will. Stop worrying.”
“I’ll always worry where you’re concerned, Jem. You are the most important person in my life … it’s my job to look after you.”
I smile up at him once I’m seated. “I love how much you love me.”
“That’ll never change,” he says, winking as he closes my car door.
My heart feels heavy as I blow him a kiss and reverse out of the driveway … I miss him already.
On my way to work, I’m driving cautiously but still faster than usual. I know I shouldn’t, considering the roads are slippery from all the rain, but the backlog of work I’m going to face from being on holiday for a month is making my stomach knot. The thought of facing Andrew in one of his moods this morning quickly undoes all the calm I’ve felt while away from him. Braxton’s idea of starting my own business sounds better by the second.
I smile to myself as I replay his words from earlier in my head. My hand automatically moves to skim over my stomach. I’d like nothing more than to have his baby growing inside me again.
“Shit,” I mumble to myself when the heavens open up.
I flick the wipers to full speed, but visibility is still poor. I can barely see the car in front of me now. I jump when my phone rings.
Gripping the wheel tightly with one hand, I blindly reach across the passenger seat with my other, trying to fish the phone out of my bag.
My gut tells me it’s Andrew, wondering where I am; I should have been there fifteen minutes ago. My chest tightens just thinking about it.
My eyes leave the road for a split second as I glance down at the screen. I was right, it’s him. As I attempt to accept the call, I hear the loud sound of an angry horn and the screech of tyres. My head snaps to the left as my body is thrown violentlysidewards. The sickening crunching sound of metal is almost deafening.
Images of Braxton and our life together flash through my mind as a crushing sensation consumes the right side of my body. My head connects with the driver’s window, and the sound of shattering glass fills my ears.
Oh god. I don’t want to die.
“Braaaax,” I cry out as the world around me stills, and I succumb to the darkness.
Chapter 2
Braxton
Itake a sip of strong black coffee as I stare out of the floor-to-ceiling windows that adorn the back of our house. I’m drinking out of my favourite mug. Jem bought it for me on our first official Valentine’s Day together, eight years ago. The inscription on the front still brings a smile to my face.‘You’re cute, can I keep you?’
It has a small chip on the rim and the interior of the once white mug is now stained yellow from all the coffee I’ve consumed in it, and part of the love heart on the front has worn away over time, but I adore this mug and everything it represents. Nowhere near as much as I adore my wife, though.
The ocean is less than forty metres away from where I’m standing, but the rain is pelting down so hard that I can’t even see it. An uneasy feeling settles in the pit of my stomach, and I don’t know why. I’m not anxious about the meeting I have this morning; I’m confident the deal is in the bag. Even so, something feels off.
Maybe the thought of Jemma being out there in this weather doesn’t sit well with me. I know she feels like I smother her sometimes, but it’s only because I love her so much. I’ve neverloved anyone, or anything, as deeply as I do her. She’s like the missing part of my soul.
