Page 77 of Finding Forgiveness
“Okay.”
“Okay, what?”
“I’ll come back with you.”
“You will?”
“Yes.”
After a tearful goodbye to my sweet baby piglets and their parents—whom I’ve become completely attached to—Delilah, Dingbat, and Martha, I climb into the passenger seat of Connor’s vehicle. He didn’t want me driving home on my own, so we’re leaving the Mercedes here. It’s been moved into one of the big sheds, out of the weather, until I return for it.
Connor has promised he’ll fly back with me so I can pick it up soon. It’s going to suck being without a car, but at least I know I’ll be returning to Mudgee. This farm will always hold a special place in my heart. It came along when I needed it most, and I’ll never forget my time here, or Martha.
Speaking of Martha, she bends down, poking her head through the passenger side window. “Drive carefully.”
“We will,” Connor assures her. “And thank you again for your hospitality … and for looking after my girl.”
As heartbroken as I feel about leaving here, I bow my face in an attempt to hide the joy those two words bring.My girl.
I reach for Martha’s hand, wrapping it in mine. “Thank you for everything. I’m going to miss you.”
When my eyes well with tears, she straightens and sniffles. “These damn allergies get me every time,” she mumbles.
This time, I don’t try to hide my smile, because this tough old broad is getting emotional and she’s trying to blame it on the pollen. “It’s spring … it’s to be expected,” I say, taking pity on her. She’s been through a lot, but she soldiers on regardless. I admire her for that. It can’t be easy working every day and running this place all on her own, especially at her age. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Make sure you do. In the meantime, I’m going to be driving around town with the roof down in your flashy sports car.”
“Please do,” I say, rummaging around in my handbag for the keys.
She pushes my hand away when I try to pass them to her. “I was kidding.”
“Take them, please. Just in case the Effie doesn’t start.” That’s her nickname for the F100. I’ve had to give her a jumpstart a couple of times, so it’s a possibility. Can you believe I even did that? Who am I?
“Okay.” She leans back through the window and places a chaste kiss on my cheek. “I’m going to miss having you around, Cassie. You’ve brightened a little old lady’s world. Don’t ever lose your sparkle, you hear.”
Why couldn’t I have been born to the fruit of her loins? Instead, I got the polar opposite …Lucifer. “You’ve brightened mine too,” I say, choking on my words, because it’s the truth. My short stay here has done more for me than she’ll ever know.
Our four-hour trip home seems to go pretty fast. We talked a little here and there, and went through long bouts of silence, but it never felt awkward. Connor held my hand the entire way, which was sweet of him.
I’m not sure where we’re going from here. Are we even a couple? It would feel weird to straight out ask him that question, so I’ll go with the flow until I know otherwise.
Connor pulls into his spot in the underground car park of our building, and after turning off the engine, he looks over at me and smiles. “Are you okay?” he asks, pulling our conjoined hands up to his mouth and placing a soft kiss on my knuckles.
“Yeah.” I never planned on staying away indefinitely, but I didn’t expect to be back here so soon.
He unbuckles his belt and exits the car before rounding the front of the vehicle to open my door. He extends his hand and I take it. “It’s nice to have you back,” he says, collecting both our suitcases from the boot.
“It’s nice to be back,” I reply, but for some reason, the words taste bitter in my mouth.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be here with him, but I’m wary about thrusting myself back into the real world so soon. I wasn’t left with much of a choice, because I couldn’t willingly stay in Mudgee considering the shit is about to hit the fan. I’m safer here, and I can’t expect Connor to take this all on by himself. That wouldn’t be fair. It’s something we need to do together. My mother’s poor decisions have impacted us both.
Like the gentleman he is, he rolls our suitcases across the smooth, polished concrete towards the lifts. It’s quiet down here so the small heels on my cowboy boots echo loudly in the enclosed space with each step I take.
Neither of us speak as we travel up to our floor. I think we’re both emotionally drained. Personally, I could do with a long hot shower and a lie down.
I stand back while Connor opens the door and the last thing either of us expects to see is a house full of people. Jim, Grace, Jacinta, Mason, and Blake … the whole family is here. In our apartment.
The moment we step over the threshold, we are inundated. Grace is the first to approach me. As soon as she wraps me in her arms, she starts to weep. “My sweet, sweet girl. I’m so sorry.”
