Page 4 of Finding Forgiveness
“Well, it’s a good thing I don’t care what you believe then, isn’t it, Maloney?”
“Don’t be a bitch, Cass, I only came in here to see if you were okay.”
“I’m sorry,” she said with a sigh before turning her face away. “I’m fine, really.”
I stood there unmoving because I could tell by the slump of her shoulders that she was anything but fine. When I noticed her reach up to swipe her hand under her eyes for a second time, my suspicions were confirmed.
“Cass.” I took a tentative step closer, followed by another.
“Don’t,” she said, raising her arm and holding her flattened palm out to me. “I can’t deal with your kindness right now, Con.” Her voice cracked as she spoke, so I ignored her plea and continued to close the distance.
As soon as she was within reach, I grasped her shoulders and turned her to face me. When I saw the tears cascading down her pretty face, I didn’t hesitate to pull her into my arms. It had been years since I’d held this woman, and I hated how good it felt, especially when she hugged me back and snuggled her face into my chest.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
I drew back slightly, cupping her jaw in my hands and tilting her face up. When our eyes met, I sucked in a sharp breath. The Cassie I first fell in love with when we were younger was a stunner, but the grown-up version … fuck me.
Ignoring the kaleidoscope of feelings only she could evoke, I exhaled. “Who were you on the phone with just now?”
“Nobody.”
My thumbs fanned out to wipe away the tears that continued to fall, and it hurt me to see her like this. “Talk to me, Princess.” It had been years since I’d called her that, and that word only managed to bring on a fresh wave of tears.
“I can’t … especially with you.”
Her statement stung. Cassandra had always been somewhat of a closed book. Even when we were a couple, she opened up a little about her home life, but I was always left feeling like there was more she wasn’t saying.
“I don’t know what I did to make you hate me so much.”
“I don’t hate you, Connor.” I wanted to scoff at her words, but I managed to rein it in. I wasn’t there to fight. Dumping all my hurt on her in that moment was the last thing she needed. When I remained silent, she reiterated her words. “I don’t … truly. Do you honestly think that?”
Did she even need to ask that question?
She’d been the only woman I’d ever professed my love to … she even said those words back, and then she ghosted me. Just thinking about that time had my gut churning. They were some of the darkest days of my life, and the worst part was I still didn’t know why.
“How could I not think that? The last time I drove away from you everything seemed fine. I told you I loved you and you said those words back, Cassie. You said those fucking words back! Then the following day you refused to take any of my calls and texts … I found out a week later from my sister that you were seeing that fucking douche from your school.” My hands dropped from her face and I retreated a step because all these years later, it still tore me up inside. “If you didn’t want to be with me you should’ve just said so, instead of stringing me along like you did.”
“Con,” she whispered, reaching for my hand and squeezing it. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?”
“Yes.”
“I guess I should be grateful that I’m getting an apology even if it took you six years,” I mumbled, turning my face away because I could no longer look at her.
“The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you.”
My eyes narrowed as my gaze snapped back to her. “You didn’t just hurt me, Cass, you ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it.”
“I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you.”
“Hah!”
“I’m telling the truth.”
She spoke her words with conviction, but I still had my doubts. “Then why? Why did you treat me so poorly?”
