Page 78 of Finding Forgiveness
At first, I’m confused, wondering what’s happened, but when Jacinta squishes in between us, and says, “You should’ve talked to me, Cass. You’re like my sister … I love you; I would’ve been here for you. I can’t believe you suffered for all these years in silence.”
And then it hits me.The letter. These beautiful, loving people are banding together in solidarity for me and Connor. This is why I love the Maloneys, and the reason I’ve always yearned to be one of them … part of this strong bond and unity. All for one and one for all. I didn’t know families like this existed until I became friends with Jacinta.
I thought my dysfunctional family was the norm. My mother was always controlling and would not relent until she got her way, even with my dad. I’m sure she’s the reason he stayed away as much as he did. I rarely got to see her maternal side. She always made me feel like more of a hindrance than a blessing. There were no family dinners where we’d sit around the dining table and discuss our day, no board game nights, or movie marathons. Deep down I know my father loves me, but he was absent so often, and for such long periods, we never got to form the kind of connection this family shares.
When the girls finally release me, Jim moves in to cocoon me in his big strong arms before placing a soft kiss on the top of my head. “We’ll get through this together, Cass … as a family.”
Those words have tears stinging the back of my eyes.As a family.
Coming home to a house full of people and having to relive all the horrors of those few days, while Connor and his father took extensive notes and formalised a game plan—as Jacinta and her mother cooked up a storm for us in the kitchen—may have not been what I wanted, but it turned out to be exactly what I needed.
I had reservations about coming home so soon, but as I sit here at the dining table surrounded by people I love, and who clearly love me back, I realise I don’t need to go it alone anymore. I’ve had many meals with these people over the years but there’s something about this one that starts to choke me up inside.
Pushing back my chair, I suddenly stand. “Excuse me,” I say, my voice cracking as I speak.
I quickly turn to leave the room, and as I do, I see Connor begin to rise. “I’ve got this,” Jacinta murmurs, suddenly hot on my heels. As I enter the bathroom, she pushes her way in, closing and locking the door behind us. “Cass.”
I swipe my hand under my eyes, trying to hide my tears. “I’m okay.”
“No, you’re not,” she says, wrapping her arms around me from behind and resting her cheek on my back.
“They are happy tears, Jaz. I’m just a little overwhelmed. I love your family so much.”
“And we love you.” I turn to face her and see her own eyes glistening. “I wish you would’ve told me what was going on back then … I could’ve been there.”
“I couldn’t tell you.”
“I would’ve kept your secret.”
“I know you would’ve, but I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t put something so heavy on your tiny little shoulders.”
“Hey,” she growls as her eyes narrow. “My shoulders aren’t that tiny.”
A smile tugs at my lips as I turn her in my arms to face the mirror. “They’re itty-bitty, Jaz, we both know it.”
“Oh, God,” she groans.
“How am I going to carry Mason’s giant-arse baby around inside me for nine months?”
“I’d be more concerned about popping out that giant baby if I was you.”
She sighs. “My vagina’s going to be ruined, isn’t it? What was I thinking getting engaged to—”
“An enormous hunk of man meat,” I say, finishing her sentence for her. “You love him, that’s why. You two are perfect together … and yes, your poor lady bits are going to get mutilated, but it will be worth it. We can always find a good plastic surgeon to piece you back together.”
“They do vagina reconstructions?”
I lift one shoulder because I have no clue, but I don’t see why they couldn’t. “So, you took the test?”
“Not yet, I bought one though.” She bends, opening the doors below the basin and reaching into the back of the cupboard. “I hid it at your apartment so Mason didn’t find it.”
As soon as she straightens, I snatch the box out of her hand. “We have to do it now.”
“My entire family is sitting out there.”
Ignoring her, I rip the box open and start laying the contents out on the countertop. I hand her the stick. “Pee on this.”
“Right now? In front of you?”
