Page 73 of Finding Forgiveness
I lift my head from where it’s resting on his chest and groan when I see the time. “I need to get up and feed the animals.”
I enjoy doing it, despite the ungodly hour, but this morning, not so much. Not when I have the man of my dreams—the love of my life—lying beside me in bed.
“I’ll come help you.”
I lean in and brush my lips with his before rolling over and getting up. “Stay here, it won’t take me long.”
“Don’t go,” he pleads, reaching over to try and grab me.
“I have to, the animals will be hungry.”
“This animal right here is ravenous,” he reaches under the sheet to cup himself.
I roll my eyes and laugh as I bend slightly to grasp the bedding, tearing it away from his body. I nibble on my bottom lip as my eyes take him in, in all his naked glory.
I release a small whimper when he wraps his fingers around his thick shaft and it starts to grow before my eyes. I can’t believe he’s ready to go again. I’m sore and tender—muscles I didn’t even know I had ache. I need to soak in a long hot bath before I even consider going there again.
Wrapping the sheet around my body I turn, heading towards the bathroom before I change my mind. I don’t even make it out of the room before there’s a loud knock on the front door.
Connor leaps out of bed and scoops up his discarded trousers. “Stay here,” he utters. “I’ll see who it is.”
He’s switched into protective mode, which makes me a little giddy. I follow him out of the room, and when he opens the front door, I see the taillights of Martha’s fully restored 1974 Ford F100 heading back down the dirt road and away from the cabin. It belonged to her late husband and was his pride and joy. After he passed, it became hers.
I look down and see a cake box with a clear window on the lid, sitting on the porch by the door. It contains a dozen muffins, and beside it is two large coffees in a takeaway tray. There’s a folded note tucked beside one.
I bend, sliding out the piece of paper to read it.
I thought you two might need an energy boost. Go back to bed, I’ve already fed the animals. If you could check on the piglets later today, I’d appreciate it. I’ll expect you both at the main house for dinner tonight. 6 sharp.
Martha
I’ve enjoyed my time here with Martha; I’m going to miss her when I leave. I clutch the note to my chest as Connor squats to pick up the box of muffins. “They’re still warm,” he says.
“They’re from The Dancing Goat.Martha has a guy come in every morning; they’re freshly baked.” I slide one of the coffees out of the tray and shove it in his direction. “You’ve got to try this coffee. It was voted the best in Mudgee three years running,” I say proudly, like I have some sort of claim over it. “It’s delicious.”
We end up back in bed, where we feed each other muffins, taste-testing all the different flavours, drinking our coffee, and talking about old times. It’s nice, and something we’ve never had the luxury of doing.
When we were younger it always felt like there was an invisible, ticking clock hanging over our heads. Connor would have to leave way sooner than I liked, so his family wouldn’t become suspicious. As far as they knew, he was only giving me a ride, and I’m not referring to his dick either. And if I was at their house with his sister, we had to act like nothing was going on.
Who knows what the future holds for us …if anything. I’d be a fool to think that things will just magically fall into place after everything that’s happened. Will I ever truly escape the atrocities of my past?If I can’t heal from what hurt me, I’ll end up bleeding over the ones that didn’t cut me.I couldn’t do that to Connor, I’ve already put him through enough.
Holding on to someone just for the sake of it can do more damage than letting go, and the truth is, this beautiful man owes me absolutely nothing.
Chapter22
Connor
Ican’t stop grinning as I watch her. It’s a side of Cassandra Lewis I never thought I’d see. I rest both of my elbows on top of the fence and lean in further so I can observe her every move. She’s a vision … I could look at her all day long and never tire.
She’s in her element here, which is great to see, but I’ll admit there’s a part of me that’s scared shitless by that knowledge. What will I do if she wants to stay?
First and foremost, I came here because I needed to see her, with no further plans than that. But after everything that’s happened since my arrival, I was kind of hoping I’d get to bundle her in my car and take her back home with me, where she belongs. In this moment though, right here and now, I’m not sure if I can do that to her. It’s the first time in forever, that I’ve seen her truly happy.
“And this little cutie-pie,” she says, picking up another piglet, “is Crackling.”
I bark out a laugh. “Can I ask who named them?”
“Me. I had to continue with the pork theme … like their parents.”
