Page 25 of Finding Forgiveness
“I’ve already made one up for her,” Connor says, appearing in the doorway of the kitchen. “I’ve put her in the room next to mine.”Next to him?“I want her close.”
A grin tugs at my lips as I bow my head, shielding it from the others in the room.
“That’s good,” Grace replies, and when I side-eye Jacinta, I find her smiling adoringly at her brother.
“Come,” Connor offers, appearing beside my chair. “I’ve already taken your things up there.”
I grasp his hand when he extends it to me, and he helps me stand. “Thank you,” I say to him before moving my attention to his mother. “And thanks for the sandwich.”
“You’re welcome, sweetie. I’ll get one of the kids to come up and get you in a few hours, when dinner’s ready.”
“Okay,” I say with a nod.
My heart does a little flutter in my chest when Connor doesn’t let go of my hand and guides me out of the kitchen. His fingers are still wrapped in mine as he leads me up the stairs. When we reach the landing, he navigates us to the right.
“That’s my room there,” he states, pointing to it as we pass. I have to refrain from rolling my eyes. I practically lived here when I was growing up, and was very aware of where his room was. I may not have ever stepped inside it, but I knew which one was his. Especially, when we were seeing each other.
Back then, I used to sleep in Jacinta’s room, beside her, and I can’t even tell you how many times I wanted to sneak down the hallway and slide under his covers. The struggle was real. It felt like a form of torture. As much as I loved my time with his sister, I was totally besotted with her brother. Whenever I was around him, I always ached for his touch, and when I wasn’t I would internally pine for him.
We enter the room beside his. It’s another one I haven’t been in before. We never ventured down this end of the house, it always seemed like Connor’s domain. It’s decorated beautifully, just like the rest of this place. Apart from the dark teal feature wall behind the head of the bed, this room is light and airy. The other three walls are painted a bright white, and there are two large windows down one side, looking out over the expansive backyard and pool area. The furniture is light oak, and the bedding is white, with a throw rug and cushions that tie in with the teal wall.
“I’ve put fresh sheets on the bed for you.”
“You have?” I ask with wide eyes.
“Don’t look so surprised, I’ve been living on my own for the past two years, I’ve become very self-sufficient,” he replies, chuckling. I watch on as he moves further into the room and lifts my suitcase, laying it down on the wooden bench seat that sits at the foot of the bed. “Would you like some help unpacking?”
“No, but thank you for the offer.”
I cross to where he’s standing and unzip my bag, flipping open the lid. “Did you rob a jewellery store?” he asks, looking down at the chaos before us, and I’m not just talking about the knot of jewellery. All my clothes are balled up and stuffed in. It’s not the usual order I like when packing, but in my defence, I was in a hurry to get out of there.
“It’s my safety net … I’m sure you heard my mother when we were leaving. She’s probably already cut off my credit card and frozen my bank account. Sadly, this is what my life has resorted to … pawning my things until I can find my feet.”
I lean forward and start picking through the tangled mass of diamonds and gold … there are rings, necklaces, earrings, bracelets, and bangles. I left the pearl necklace behind. It was a silent fuck you to my mother. My days of being a showpiece—a politician’s daughter—are over.
I’ve accumulated a lot of jewellery over the years. Not all of it was bought by me. My parents liked to shower me with expensive gifts for birthdays and Christmas, but it was their love I wanted most. Material things mean nothing to me. My mother’s generosity was all show.
“Cass,” he says, reaching up to grasp my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “You don’t need to sell your things; I’ll take care of you.”
I dip my face and swallow thickly.This man.I don’t deserve his compassion or kindheartedness. “I couldn’t ask you to do that, Con,” I say, choking on my words.
“Hey.” He turns me to face him and wraps me in his big strong arms. When he rests his chin on top of my head, the tears start to fall. I’m an emotional wreck, and I hate that he’s witnessing it. “You are surrounded by people who care about you … things may seem hopeless right now, but you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Accepting help doesn’t make you weak, Cass. It requires strength, and you have that in bucket loads.”
He’s always had the capability of being able to lift you and make you feel like you’re more than you are. I tilt my head back so I can see his handsome face. “I don’t deserve you, Connor Maloney.”
He reaches up to gently brush away my tears with his thumb. “You deserve the world, Cass. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t.”
“Thank you. I may not deserve your kindness, especially because of the way I’ve treated you in the past, but I want you to know that I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I know it’s six years too late, but I’m sorry for hurting you.”I’m sorry for so much.
“People hurt each other, Cass … it’s what we do. Whether it’s intentionally, unintentionally or regretfully. It’s part of life, but the beauty of the human race is we have the ability to heal and to find forgiveness … so if it’s any consolation, I forgive you.” Those words only seem to bring on more tears. Would he forgive me if he knew the truth? I very much doubt it. He leans in and places a chaste kiss on my forehead before letting me go and retreating a step. “You start unpacking your clothes, and I’ll tackle these,” he says, reaching into my suitcase to scoop up the tangled jewellery.
“You don’t have to help me.”
“I want to,” he says, taking a seat on the side of the bed and getting to work.
A grin plays on my lips. I know we can never get back what we once had … too much has happened, but I hope that going forward we can at least be friends.
Chapter8
